Domus dulcis domus
by King in Yellow
Summary: This wraps up the original story arc for Best Enemies. Everyone is where they need to be for the moment. Things settle down for Kim and Shego but not for anyone else. B.E. Universe, story 06.
1. Chapter 1  Abyssus abyssum invocat

Boilerplate Disclaimer: The various characters from the Kim Possible series are owned by Disney. All registered trade names property of their respective owners. Cheap shots at celebrities constitute fair usage.

Domus dulcis domus DDD completes the originally envisioned trilogy of stories -- which has somehow grown to six: Best Enemies -- Cognitive Dissonance -- Before the Dawn -- Grudge Matches -- Homecoming -- DDD. I blame Before the Dawn for throwing the schedule off.

It leaves a number of threads hanging. Stories, like life, don't always tie up neatly. I leave it for the reader to supply his/her own resolution to some questions.

I may do some stand-alone stories set in the Best Enemies universe, if anyone cares. They are set in different time periods and not strictly sequels. I've also considered a series in the Best Enemies universe with Team Possible II, whose members will all appear in DDD.

Edit note: FF.N changes how they count words. I changed two words - and FF.N now counts eight hundred more words in the chapter. My OCD would go insane if I attempted to correct my hanger-hangar error that Tjikicew pointed out.

**Translation:** Domus dulcis domus Home sweet home

**Chapter 1 - Abyssus abyssum invocat**

Mansion might have been too grand a word for the old Kringle home, but if so it didn't miss by very much. In 1905 when it went up it had been one of the larger homes in Middleton, and certainly the grandest. Prohibition closed the Kringle brewery, but the family kept things running in a grand style even through the Depression until the old brew master died in 1948. His son kept the home open and in reasonable repair into the late 1970s. By the time the son retired to Florida the Kringle mansion was the only single family dwelling in the neighborhood, everything else had been taken over and rented out to college students by landlords anxious to squeeze every bit of income out of the old homes with the least possible investment. For several years now it had been pointed out as a haunted house that children dared each other to walk in front of on Halloween.

_"Sometimes in a moment of confusion and panic you think of a plan which sounds like just what you need. Everyone else in the world realizes you're wrong, but you stubbornly plunge ahead -- until you are committed too deeply to back out. And only after you've hit the point of no return do you realize that you have made the biggest mistake of your entire life."_ That idea ran through James Possible's head not because of his daughter's actions, but because of his own. But for the first time he thought he had some understanding of why Kim could have done something as insane as convincing a criminal geneticist to help impregnate her with Shego's child. Some of his frustration toward Kim transformed into sympathy. How could he have been so stupid? Rocket scientists aren't supposed to make mistakes like this.

He wanted to blame the realtor -- who must have been lying about the gentrification starting in the area. But he really didn't know how to tell if that claim was true or not. He wanted to blame the contractor for steering him towards the most expensive kitchen in Middleton. But the contractor had simply suggested different materials and the choice of the highest end materials had always been his own. Waiting for items like granite countertops had thrown off the schedule. And while it might have been true that in the very long run that renovation wouldn't have cost more than rent, the reality of renovation was that it demanded a lot of money up front -- it could not be spread out over years the way rent would have been. Now he was left with a home unfit for human habitation with a fabulous kitchen. He considered just trying to cut his loses by selling the house -- even though he knew he would simply lose money on the transaction. And that, of course, would still leave him with the original problem -- what to do with his daughter, her partner Shego, the granddaughters, and Bonnie -- who had been told she had a job as nanny.

The three young women sat in front of him in the Possible living room, waiting for him to say something positive. And he had nothing good to say. "I'm sorry. I've messed up. The house isn't ready. I don't think there is any practical way for it to be fit for living any time soon. I don't know what to tell you."

"Can we at least see the place, Dad?"

"If you want, Kimmie. Just don't hate me. I don't know what I was thinking."

"It can't be that bad, Dr. Possible."

"Let's go over, Bonnie. You can see for yourself."

"But you always say anything's possible."

"Kim, I may have lied to you."

---

Anne Possible joined them for the tour. She hadn't seen the house in weeks and hoped it wasn't as bad as her husband described. The three young women sat in the back seat for the drive over.

"It's a great location," Kim noted optimistically as they drew closer. "It's right by the campus and only a couple blocks from the coffee shop."

"Yeah, a great location to pitch a tent," James added bitterly.

---

"It's nice and warm," Anne said as they stood in the huge entryway.

"Damn contractors forgot to turn down the heat. Yep, brand new furnace and hot water heater. Those weren't on my original plan when I thought about this, but they are the least of the problems. The wiring needs to be redone. There isn't a grounded outlet in the place -- most of them aren't even polarized."

Bonnie had to agree with Kim's dad. This place was unfit for human habitation. How could anyone have imagined this place could be made livable? Kim and her mom thought it wasn't quite as bad as James imagined. And Shego stared around her at the high ceilings with crown moldings, huge rooms which opened off the entryway, and the shabby vestige of a once truly grand staircase. "Oh, God," she said softly, "this place is amazing! There's got to be some way to make this work."

Most of the rooms on the ground floor mirrored the condition of the entryway -- a variety of different sized holes in some of the walls, deep gouges in the floors and windows in need of replacement.

"And here is my grand mistake," he declared as he ushered them into the kitchen.

Bonnie and Kim declared themselves willing to sleep on cots and live in the kitchen.

"James, why have you never done anything like this for me?" his wife demanded.

The kitchen only confirmed Shego's opinion. _"There had to be a way to make this work."_

The second floor contained four huge bedrooms and a smaller room off the back stairs -- probably for the head of the domestic staff. Besides it's own bathroom the master bedroom also had what would have been the 'office' for the mistress of the house. Servants would have been called to the boudoir and given their tasks for the day. It was the size of a small bedroom and James had seen it as a perfect nursery. Conditions were very much like those of the ground floor rooms. The top floor, which could only be reached by the smaller, back stairs, contained three small bedrooms -- clearly meant for servants, a bathroom, and a huge empty area.

Twice as they toured the house Shego thought she saw movement from the corner of her eye, but decided it was only because Bonnie had told her the story of the house being haunted.

As they returned to a lower level James listed other defects. "The basement is filled with all sorts of junk -- they had a terrible time getting the new furnace and water heater down there. The garage was built for a horse and carriage. I'm told the upper floor has a couple small bedrooms for the stable hand and a gardener -- but they took the stairway out when they did mass rentals so there was more room for cars. I haven't tried to go up there and have no idea what shape it's in."

"Is there water in the bathrooms?"

"Oh, they can all be used -- except maybe the little half bath behind the big stairway. But you saw their condition."

"I wouldn't want to use the one on the second floor," Bonnie declared.

"They weren't that bad. Be glad you've never had to use some of the things I've seen when I was on the run," Shego told her.

As they reached the ground floor James sighed, "Well, girls. I don't know what to tell you. Do you have any ideas? Shego, do you think we could rent space for you at Drakken's Lair?"

"Talk about a place that isn't childproof… Actually, I do have an idea. Kim, could you take Bonnie to the kitchen? I want to bounce an idea off your dad."

---

Once in the kitchen Bonnie spoke to Kim, "If we end up living here, we have to get Ron in the house with us."

"Why?"

"First, this isn't the best neighborhood in town. I'll feel safer with a man around the house."

"Bonnie, I think Shego is as tough as Ron, and I'll be back in shape eventually."

"Maybe, but a man around is a deterrent."

"Ron the pit bull," Kim giggled.

"And second, I don't want people to think I'm living in a house filled with lesbians."

"Everyone thinks Ron and I are an item. People will just think you and Shego are a couple."

"Come on, Kim. Ron cooks."

"Oooh, you saved your best argument until last. I'd love to see what Ron could do in this kitchen."

"You're welcome to see it," Bonnie laughed. "I want to taste it."

---

Back in the entryway Shego spoke to Kim's parents, "I really appreciate what you're doing for Kim, and for me. You're doing so much I'm not sure how to bring up my questions without sounding ungrateful."

"Please, go ahead. We'll give you the benefit of the doubt with them."

"Well, you say you would like to get the old place fixed up as soon as you can. I think a lot of the work is fairly basic labor. If I can find a way to supply the labor will you supply the materials?"

"You would pay for labor?"

"If I have to, I'll see what kind of deal I can cut with them. But if it works I can have a very large crew here on Monday. I'm not sure about some of the finishing work -- and I don't think any of us will know a thing about plumbing -- but I'm hoping I could get most of the basic repairs done then. And I've worked for Dr. D long enough that I think I can handle the rewiring if I can get the help I'm looking for. Your contractors would still end up doing to bathrooms and some of the fine woodworking."

"-- and the painting."

"Actually, I'm thinking Bonnie, Ron, and I could do the painting. You'd be welcome too -- we could make it a party."

"No Kim?"

"She'll stay at your house while we're painting. I don't want her breathing the fumes."

"Shego, if you can supply labor I'll open an unlimited account for you at any home store in Middleton."

---

"I really feel bad about making this call, " Shego explained. "I'm afraid you're going to think last week was all a set up to beg for a favor. But I really need your help. When do classes start again for you?"

"Classes don't start until the twenty-second," one voice said.

"But we're not promising anything until we know what the favor is," a second added.

"The two of you said you worked construction over the summer. There is an old house here, a great old place suffering about twenty years of neglect. I'm thinking some plastering on walls, replacing windows, maybe some floors can be refinished but I think most of the house needs a new laminate put down. Then there will need to be trim around the new windows and mopboards for the floor. The kitchen has already been done and it is gorgeous! We'll have local contractors redo the bathrooms and some of the skilled carpentry -- you might be able to do that but the fine work takes time and can be put off for now. We need the basics done fast. What kind of damage am I looking at from you? Any sort of a family rate?"

One of the Wegos went into a raspy-voiced Marlon Brando impersonation, "We would love to help our beloved sister. And someday we may need to call upon you for a favor."

"Yes, Godfather. Now, seriously what will it come to?"

"Let's see -- roundtrip air tickets,"

"a rental car when we get there,"

"motel room and meals,"

"all tools and material provided… Can you think of anything else, Ed?"

"Not off the top of my head."

"Uh, guys, I mean how much will I need to pay you?"

The Godfather came back on the line, "From our beloved sister we would not accept anything as crass as financial gain."

"But like he said before, someday we may call on you for a favor. Oh, we left off the beer. All the beer we can drink. And we want good stuff. Is there any sort of good microbrewery there in Middleton?"

"You're not going to tell Mom, are you?"

"Sis, that would mean telling her we've been drinking, remember?"

"You're not going to get too plastered to plaster, are you?"

"Give us a break. We may be underage, but we're already responsible drinkers. We've learned it's dangerous to handle power tools when you're drunk or hung over."

"Can I tell her how you learned that lesson?"

"Shut up, Ed."

"You two are great. Mom has the email address for Kim's mom. Email me a list of the tools you need. I have to call Matt now. I'm hoping he can come for a day and help me do some rewiring."

"You're going to call Matt?"

"Yeah, I figure rewiring would be a snap with him."

"Good luck on getting him. He may not be as willing to drop everything to help family as we are."

"Call back if he turns you down." The Godfather got back on the line, "Our older brother sometimes forgets his familial duties. Fortunately he owes us a favor. Of course, should we need to call in the favor the burden of its fulfillment will transfer to you."

"Sounds like I'm selling my soul."

"Yeah, essentially. Say, can you tell us what happened to Hego after you left?"

"I've got no idea. I want to hear what you know when I see you. Let me call Matt now. I'll call you back if I need you to try and work on him for me."

---

As she finished her second call to Will and Ed, Anne Possible's voice came up the stairs, "Shego, time for supper."

"Down in a minute, Anne."

As the meal wound down Anne started a pot of coffee. "James and I want to talk with you, Shego. What do you plan to do now that you're out on bail? I hope you plan to stay out of trouble."

"Actually, I have a lot of plans… I don't know if they're all realistic. But I'm really hoping to change my life."

Jim interrupted, "Mom, can we leave and see a movie if you're going to be talking about this stuff?"

"I suppose so. Will you need a ride to the theatre?"

"Yeah!"

"Sorry, but your father and I think this conversation is important. You need to ask Kim."

"Can you give us a ride, Kim?"

"No! I want to hear this."

"Do you think mom and dad want to hear about the time you--"

She pulled her keys from her pocket and threw them at a brother, "Here, just don't hurt my car. I know where you live." The two had just gotten their licenses -- and neither parent was willing to trust them with the newer cars.

Jim and Tim smiled and gave each other high fives. They really wished they knew what Kim felt so guilty about, but were perfectly willing to threaten her with exposure for as long as it worked.

Jim and Tim left as Anne served coffee and fruit. Shego felt three pairs of eyes on her, and wondered where to start…

"I probably need to get my finances in order. I think I've got a lot of money, but it's in different banks around the world. I'll need to talk with a good accountant -- and maybe a lawyer. I think Dr. Drakken has a cousin who's a tax lawyer --"

"You're babbling. I asked about your plans, not your finances."

"Well, isn't it part of the same thing? I'm trying to say I don't know if I can take over any responsibility for Kim's education--"

"Wait, wait!" James interrupted, "You're talking about financial responsibility for Kim?"

"Well, yes. If we're living together shouldn't I have some responsibility?"

"You don't need to. Kim is our daughter."

"Blame my dad. He always stressed taking care of family. With the twins on the way I feel like I need to take care of my new family."

"I like her," James said to his wife.

"Do I get to say anything about this?" Kim grumbled.

"I need to figure out just how much money I have. I don't know how much of it will need to go into restitution. I want to try and get some of the small crimes off my record without punitive damages. I don't know how much that will take. And tuition and books are going to take a chunk."

"We'll take care of Kim."

"I'm not talking about Kim, I'm talking about me."

"What?" three voices asked at once.

"I'm registered at Middleton U, I'll be starting this semester. With the credits from before I left school, some life experience credits, I hope to get some AP credits in science -- my time with Drakken had to be worth something, and the classes at University Ottawa this last summer I should be able to graduate with a BA in English Lit. next December, if I take a couple extra classes -- and assuming I'm not back in prison."

"You're going to take extra classes?" Kim asked.

"We have the same advisor -- Dr. Kemal agreed and I didn't even need to threaten him."

"What are you hoping to do with a degree in English Lit.? Teach?" James asked.

Shego drew a deep breath. "Well, I hope not. I haven't finished the application for the test yet, but if I do well enough on the LSAT in February and get accepted I'd like to start Middleton Law School next January. The judge who let me post bail is on the faculty there and thinks I can do it."

"Did you hear that, James?" Kim's mom asked her husband. "Grad school. And she's willing to take heavy course loads." She moved over and gave Shego a hug. "I think we've found our missing daughter."

James joined his wife in hugging the pale woman. "And I like her sense of financial responsibility. She's the daughter we've always wanted."

Anne kissed Shego on the top of the head, "You'll take care of that redhead you're living with, won't you dear? It's wonderful how you're setting a good example for her."

Kim glared at the three of them, "That is so not funny."

Shego patted Anne's hand, "I promise to take care of the redhead, Mom. It's probably not her fault. I'll bet it was the way she was raised."

They all laughed.

---

As they got ready for bed Kim asked Shego, "What's this LSAD thing?"

"LSAT. Law School Admission Test. All the good schools and most of the poor ones want you to take it."

"Will you be able to cram for that and take other classes?"

"It's not a test to see how much law you know. You learn that in law school. It measures how well you understand what you read and how you reason. I think English Lit. is as good a preparation as anything. I took a practice test on-line while we were with my folks. I did very well. I'm really more worried about the LSDAS, the Law School Data Assembly Service that puts together a standard application packet for me. It may not be easy for me to get letters of recommendation."

"But you're finally going to be an honest woman?"

"I said I hope to be a lawyer. Don't you know the old saying? 'A lawyer with a briefcase can steal more money than a thousand men with guns.'"

---

**Translation:** Abyssus abyssum invocat - Hell calls hell; my rough paraphrase: One damn thing leads to another.


	2. Chapter 2  A posse ad esse

Boilerplate Disclaimer: The various characters from the Kim Possible series are all owned by Disney. Any and all registered trade names property of their respective owners. Cheap shots at celebrities constitute fair usage.

**Chapter 2 - A posse ad esse**

Shego asked Bonnie to go to the Kringle place and talk about paint and curtains. The pale woman trusted Bonnie's sense of color and style. Bonnie arrived earlier than the time Shego had suggested; glad to have an excuse to get away from her sisters. She found the door unlocked and went in to look at the kitchen again.

"Who are you?" she demanded of the young man seated on a stool by the counter and eating a MacDonalds breakfast wrap.

"I was about to ask you the same question. Oh, and were you hurt?"

"Was I hurt?"

"Yes, when you fell from heaven."

Bonnie rolled her eyes. He grinned at her, "Oh, you've got pretty eyes, are road maps available? I think I could get lost in them."

"Look, I don't know who you are."

"I'm Mr. Right, have you been looking for me?"

"No."

"Oh, too bad. You must be another of my sister's friends."

"You're Shego's brother? No, I'm not one of her friends. Okay, yes, I'm one of friends, but I'm not one of her FRIENDS."

"So you are looking for Mr. Right?"

"Yes, er, no. No, I don't think you're Mr. Right."

"Okay, I'm not Mr. Right. But I could be Mr. Right Now if you want me to be."

"You're a smart-mouthed little kid, you know that? What are you, fifteen?"

"Hey, don't let the fact my older brothers got all the tall in the family fool you. You look like one of Kim's friends. That would make you a sophomore in college. I've probably got a year on you -- I'm a junior. And in your presence I find myself suffering from amnesia. Do I come here often?"

Bonnie smiled, just a little. "No, I've never seen you before."

"Then I must be new in town. Can you give me directions to your place? If I follow you home will you keep me?"

Bonnie smiled just a little more. "Do any of your cheesy pick-up lines really work?"

"Very seldom. I get slapped a lot. But if she keeps talking with me eventually she finds out I'm really a charming guy. I can charm the pants off some girls. Think I've got a chance with you?"

Bonnie laughed. "I don't think so. But I like charming men, especially straight ones. I'm a theatre major--"

"Oh, yeah. Same at our school. I've got nothing against guys in the theater department, but I wouldn't want my brother dating one of them. Oh, my name is Will. You can call me Will. Or you can call me anytime. Want my phone number? I want yours. What's a nice girl like you doing in a place like this?"

"I'm going to live here… That is, if the place gets fixed up. I heard Shego has a big work crew coming in."

"Oh, yeah. I'm part of it. Ed and I arrived last night. He's with Shego at the lumberyard and Home Depot. Matt is supposed to fly in this morning. He's going to help Sis with the wiring -- she'll need to work fast, he's flying back tonight."

"Where is the rest of the crew? Three of you is all?"

Will gave her a broad smile. "Oh, I think you'll be surprised how much we can get done. By the way, you have my name. Can I have a name to go with your face when I masturbate tonight?"

"I don't want to encourage you. But my name is Bonnie. And I don't believe your masturbation line."

"Neither do I. I'm hoping for the real thing. How do you like your eggs cooked? I make a mean breakfast."

Bonnie leaned over and tapped him gently on the nose with her forefinger, "You know, if you play your cards right, you will get slapped again."

"Well, normally I don't go for kinky, but if it works for you--"

As Bonnie started to stalk out of the house she met Shego coming in, with a man who looked like Will. "Do I have to slap you too," she snapped.

"Sounds like you met my other half. I'm Ed."

"Ed, this is Bonnie. She'll be living her with Kim and me. Bonnie, this is Ed. He and Will keep me from wishing I was an only child."

"I met Will. I don't know if I'll hold that against Ed or not."

Will heard the noise and came out from the kitchen rubbing his cheek, "Hey, Sis. Hey, Bro. I like this chick. She doesn't slap very hard at all -- I think she likes me."

Shego grabbed Bonnie before she could slap Will again. "Why don't about twelve of you go unload the truck?" It was fortunate Shego was holding Bonnie. She fainted when the Wegos started dividing.

---

"Take a deep breath, drink a little water. You'll feel better in a minute," Shego told Bonnie.

"Did I really see that?"

"Yes, you did."

"Is your whole family…"

"Yeah, especially my Dad."

"What does he do?"

"He can play the bagpipes!"

Bonnie closed her eyes. "I think I'm home dreaming."

"Oh, can I pinch you?"

Bonnie's eyes snapped open. "I'm fine."

"Look, you can stay here and think about colors if you want. If my brothers are as good as they claim there'll be a painting party by the weekend. Or you can go to Kim's if you want. It's going to be major crazy here the next couple days."

"Did I hear you have another brother coming too?"

"I'll be heading to the airport to get Matt in about fifteen minutes."

"Does he do that going to pieces thing?"

"No, he gets small. He's going to help me rewire."

"I think I'm going over to see Kim. I'll be back to think about colors this afternoon if I calm down. Can you walk me out of the house? I'm not sure I'm ready to face six Wills."

---

Windows were starting to stack up in the large entryway as Shego led Bonnie out.

"Were you able to rent six of the Sawzall Reciprocating Saws? We only found four."

"I could only rent four," Shego explained. "But if some of you concentrate on getting the old windows out that should let others focus on getting the new windows in. I got five nail guns and two power miter saws."

"Yeah, but if you and Matt are doing electrical work where will we get power for the compressors and other tools?"

"I started work on the junction box two days ago. I'm going to run some heavy cords straight up from the basement. Power will be off in the rest of the house until Matt and I get the new wires in. There should be enough natural light for… Damn!"

Shego turned to Bonnie. "You and Kim have a job this morning. You need to pick out light fixtures. There are just going to be bare wires hanging from holes in the ceiling tomorrow. The old fixtures are shot. Think about overhead fans in the bedrooms." Shego grabbed an Ed, "She's not pissed with you. Escort her around the house so she can count how many fixtures we need."

"Why am I going with her? I don't know this house."

"Because she may try to slap a Will, or an Ed -- I doubt if she can tell you apart. Don't let the Wills hit on her."

"Are you okay?" the Ed asked as she led him up the back stairs to the top floor. "I figured Sis had warned you about us."

"I think I'm going to be fine. But it would have helped if she gave me some warning. Maybe it's my fault for getting here early. Is Will always to aggressive? He might be cute if he wasn't so in my face."

Ed sighed, "Yeah, he's always like that. He strikes out ninety-five percent of the time. I'm not interested in girls who fall for his lines, and the ninety-five percent who slap him figure we're the same and won't have anything to do with me."

---

Kim and Bonnie went back to the house in the mid-afternoon and found a state of total chaos. Wegos had already installed most of the new windows and new trim had gone up around almost half of them.

"Hi, guys, where's Shego?"

"She and Matt are pulling up new wires on the second floor. They got the top done this morning. She's working him like a dog because he's got a nine-thirty flight back this evening."

Shego was down on all fours, yelling into a hole in the wall where an electrical outlet had been. "I'm right here, Matt. Head for the light! Head for the light."

By the time they got to her they could hear a voice coming from the hole, "You don't need to tell me to head for the light, I'm not stupid. You try crawling through walls if that's going to be your attitude."

Bonnie stepped back as two tiny arms reached out from the hole, followed by the rest of a miniature person. "Here's the end of the wire," he told Shego. "Now, pull."

Mego had grown to full size. "You didn't give me enough slack on that one," he complained as Shego pulled extra wire through the opening. "Try and be more careful next time. This is ruining my manicure."

Kim made introductions while Shego pulled, "Bonnie, this is Shego's brother Matt. Matt, this is Bonnie Rockwaller. She's going to help with the girls."

"Fine, fine," Mego said, ignoring Bonnie completely. "Sharon, where do you want the next wire run? I'm going to make sure there is enough slack for me to do it right."

Shego pointed to another hole in the wall and Matt left the room.

"We got light fixtures picked out," Bonnie said. "With ceiling fans for the bedrooms. Should we try and get them over today or wait for tomorrow."

"Tomorrow's fine," Shego grunted as she stretched. "Wire pulling muscles are different from fighting muscles. I'm going to be stiff tomorrow."

"You look really hot in that low slung leather tool belt," Kim told her. "Keep that around. After the babies are born I want you in that. All sweaty like today, with tight jeans, a white t-shirt that's too small for you and a pair of work boots."

"Are you serious or are you just annoying Bonnie? Come on, we need to talk with her."

Bonnie had put her hands over her ears and was singing the Nightmare song from Iolanthe to herself to avoid listening to Kim and Shego.

Shego pulled Bonnie's hands from her ears, "You still have work to do. The Wegos will need to stop when it gets dark. I need the two of you to go to rent a couple floodlights. I want to keep working with Matt as long as I can before his plane leaves. Make it back before it starts getting dark. Oh, and Bonnie, I'm working late and am going to be sore by the time I'm done today. Is there any chance you could take Will and Ed out to eat? I'm paying for it."

"Well…"

"Come on, Bonnie. You want this place fixed up as much as I do. They don't know Middleton."

---

The sky had begun to darken as Kim and Bonnie got the lights plugged in to the power cords. Matt and Shego had already finished half of the main floor. "I'm glad we started on the top floor while we were fresh this morning. This floor seems like nothing. I probably will have enough time to get a nice steak for Matt at the Astor before I take him to the airport."

"After the shit he's been giving you all day? You ought to take him to the drive-thru at McDonalds," a Will said.

"Yeah, and make him pay," another Will added.

---

Their work done for the day Wegos began merging into each other, accompanied by the occasional grunt, groan and yips of pain.

"What's the problem?" Bonnie asked an Ed.

"All the bumps, bruises, and splinters are cumulative," he explained. "When I'm back down to one of me I have all the pains I picked up during the day." He held up a finger, "One of my idiot brother Wills dropped a window on this finger for one of me, and now it hurts like all get out."

Bonnie smiled, "Want me to kiss it and make it better?"

"Hey, Bonnie," the remaining Will spoke up, "want to hear where I hurt myself today?"

"No, but I'll bet if I kick it you'll realize the current pain is not as bad as it could be."

---

At dinner Bonnie wasn't certain if she liked flirting with Ed because she enjoyed flirting with Ed, or because of how much it annoyed Will.

Will felt sure he knew the answer. "She likes me," he told his brother when they were back in their motel room. "She was just talking with you to tease me. She doesn't have to work so hard, I'm interested."

"You're interested in every girl you ever meet."

"And your point is?"

"Maybe she actually likes me."

Will laughed, "I don't think so. I mean, you're a good looking devil--"

"Thanks for the compliment."

"But you've got no personality. And by the time I get home I'm going to have another notch to carve on my headboard."

Ed opened his mouth to speak, and then shut it. At the moment he wasn't talking to his twin.

---

Shego took a long, hot bath to relax aching muscles. After drying off she laid down on the bed and Kim went to work with the massage oil. _"Oh, yes,"_ Shego thought to herself, _"this is so much better than living alone."_

---

Bonnie had not had time to think about colors, so she was back the next day with Kim. Shego and a couple Eds were installing light fixtures, electrical outlets, and switches. The rest of the Eds and the Wills were mostly repairing walls.

"A little spackle will fill most of the holes," one Will explained.

"And some of me are using drywall to repair larger problems," another added.

"There are three rooms where we need to take down wall paper. But, all things considered, we should have most of the walls ready for a their final sanding tomorrow," an Ed said.

Two more days and we'll have new floors and mop boards through the whole place."

Shego was smiling broadly, "We should have this place ready for a painting party this weekend -- if you two can decide on colors. I want green in my bedroom."

"Do I get any say about the colors in my bedroom?" Kim asked.

"You can have any color you want, Princess. As long as its green."

"That doesn't sound like much of a choice."

"Okay, black or green. Your choice."

---

"Hey, Bonnie, do you know any girl with like, a good personality who'd be willing to go out with Ed tonight while you and I have a good time?"

"No, but I have the perfect girl in mind for you -- her hourly rates are very reasonable. But you can't pay the fraction of the hour -- I'm guessing it only takes about four minutes for you."

"You wound me, Miss Rockwaller."

"Only if you give me a chance, Mr. O'Ceallaigh."

---

Bonnie enjoyed dinner that evening even more. In his own shy way it seemed like Ed was trying to flirt with her. Which meant the twins spent much of the evening arguing with each other. It felt wonderful to have two men fighting over her.

---

Ed flew home on Friday morning. At the last minute Will announced that he had changed his ticket and wouldn't be leaving until noon on Sunday. Ed glared at him. "You could have told me your plans. I might have stayed for the painting too."

"No, you'd just be in the way. I told you. I want another notch in the headboard when I get home."

Shego had driven to the airport to see her brothers off, and was as surprised as Ed by the announcement. "What are you two fighting about," she demanded.

"He plans on getting Bonnie into bed before he comes home."

"You hurt her and you're dead."

"Come on, Sis. There's nothing wrong with recreational sex between two consenting adults. If she wants a little fun with me, why can't I have a little fun with her?"

"What if she thinks it's more serious than that."

"I don't think I've ever promised her more than a little fun. I haven't misled her."

"See what I have to live with?" Ed said. "Bonnie seems like a nice kid. And he's going to…"

"See, he can't even finish the sentence. I'm not twisting Bonnie's arm. I think Bonnie likes me and with you back home I think I'm going to score tonight -- and maybe tomorrow too. She says she was a cheerleader. I'll bet she's incredible in bed."

Shego didn't feel well, but left Ed out at the departure terminal and headed back to the motel with Will. She had promised the Drs. Possible a grand unveiling that afternoon and wanted a final check of the place. Bonnie was a big girl. She could make her own choices. Had one of her good brothers turned out to be a creep, or was she being over-protective and unfair?

---

James Possible let out a low whistle as Shego let the Drs. Possible in. "It doesn't look like the same place."

"You haven't seen the bathrooms yet, it's the same old house."

"Well this entryway looks great."

"Most of the place looks a lot better. How are we doing on budget?"

"Um, I'm not sure. We've spent over budget already by having too much work done in the kitchen and all the materials you bought. I'm not complaining; I'm impressed. With the work you got done I'll bet we could sell the place tomorrow for three times what we've spent --"

Shego looked a little disturbed at the thought.

"No, we're not thinking of selling. I'm telling you that I don't mind a penny of what you've spent. As far as we're concerned this place is Kim's as long as she wants it. But I'd rather not take a second mortgage out on our home."

"Is there a loan on this place?"

"No. But it has emptied our savings account and we sold some stock to get where we are now. Because the neighborhood still isn't great we can't get a good rate on a home equity loan on the place."

Shego filed the information away. She didn't want the Possibles going into debt on this house. "Let's start at the top and work our way down," Shego suggested. "You can see what we've done and where there's still work left to do.

As they climbed to the top floor Shego began, "We didn't work on either set of stairs. We thought that was for a professional carpenter. The stairs are okay for now, but eventually they need to be replaced too. The old elevator can't be fixed. I don't know if we should put a new elevator in the shaft some year or just take it out completely."

On the top floor she showed them how the three servants' bedrooms had been rehabilitated. "If you ever need to send Jim and Tim over while you're out of town they can sleep here. The old bathroom is still what it was, of course." The oak floor of the huge loft area had been refinished but the space remained open. "Kim sees this and thinks playroom. I'm not sure if I see playroom or a big home office with computer terminals. I think Bonnie and Ron want exercise space -- but he says martial arts space and she says mirrors and dance bars."

The bedrooms on the second floor were now all in good shape, but the two bathrooms remained as they were. "The nursery looks huge," Anne commented.

"Well, it won't look nearly so big when we get dressers, cribs, and a changing table in here," James reminded her. "Speaking of which, Shego, we need to talk furniture budget at some point."

"A little later I plan to tell you something Wade suggested. The lack of furniture will make painting this weekend a lot easier though."

When they returned to the main floor Shego pointed out the large bay window and library as places which would demand the work of a skilled carpenter. "And the little bathroom under the stairs is really bad. I don't think any woman wants to sit down in there."

"Hey, Drs. P," Ron called as they walked through the kitchen, "I got a cherry pie in the oven. Should be out when Shego has finished giving you the tour." Kim, Monique, Will, and Bonnie sat on stools at the counter, watching Ron and drinking tea or hot chocolate.

"Do you want to see the basement?" Shego asked. "I think the only change is the new electrical junction box I put in. We need to get the basement cleaned out and a washer and dryer installed. I have some other ideas to try if we stay here long enough. There is a ton of potential space down there."

"I think we can skip the basement."

"Oh, cleaning out the basement brings up Wade's idea. I had him over to double-check my electrical work and he thinks a lot of the junk down there would sell on eBay -- clean out the house and make a little money at the same time. You bought contents when you bought the house. I'm going to suggest you let us do the eBay work and put any profits into a furniture fund."

Anne looked at her husband, "I'll agree to that, it saves us money and Kim needs furniture."

"You can tell Wade to move ahead," James agreed. "Or, I'm guessing you already asked him to start."

Shego just grinned. "I offered him a percentage on what he sold, but he's calling it a housewarming gift to Kim. He promised to think about a designing a new elevator too -- although that counts as one of the lower priorities."

As they crossed the yard to the old carriage house/'new' garage Shego pointed out some areas on the house where trim needed to be fixed, and all the exterior trim needed repainting, "But that's a summer project. You may need to hire professionals to get up there with scaffolding. Thankfully it hasn't been too long since the mortar repair and tuck pointing.  
"And the yard's a mess. We'll probably just do it ourselves over the next couple years. Ron says if we scrape off some of this gravel they put down for the renters' cars we could plant an herb garden between the house and garage."

Nothing had changed much in the garage either, but a ladder stood in the area where stairs once led to the upper level. Shego described her plans. "Eventually I can buy a good set of tools and have a shop corner over here. Wade didn't want to climb to the upper story, but I think some of the junk up there could be collectible also. We need to build a new set of stairs there. When we get it cleaned out I think we can let Bonnie and Ron fight it out for dance or martial arts training area in the area they used to store hay. I don't know if I can get my brother Matt to come back and help rewire here. With a small furnace the space can be used year round. I even found a little bathroom up there when I was looking it over a couple days ago. Of course it hasn't been used in decades and all the walls need to be sheet rocked if we want the rooms made useable -- but that has to be on the bottom of the to-do list."

As they left the garage Shego said, "I think you gave Ron a good deal on rent."

"Well, he's been Kim's friend since pre-K and his parents thought it would be good for him to get out of the house. I think letting him take care of groceries and do the cooking is a good deal for everyone."

"Have you heard that Monique wants to move in too?"

"No, no one told us."

"Oops. I'm sorry. I'll bet they bring it up after a slice of pie to put you in a good mood."

---

Anne warmed her hands with a cup of hot tea while Ron sliced the pie into eight pieces. "What do you think James? I'm impressed with all the work Shego and her brothers did."

"This looks like where I imagined we'd be when we bought the place. Okay, kids, let's talk next project. There will be the painting party tomorrow. Bathrooms are the next item on the list. Budget is a little tighter than expected. We're going to be using fiberglass instead of Corian when we fix things. What's the order for fixing them?"

Bonnie and Ron cast their votes for the shared second floor bathroom, Kim wanted the master bathroom done, and Shego voted for the one under the stairs as the most disgusting and the one most likely to be used by a guest. The Drs. Possible agreed with Shego and wrote it down for first.

"Now, for the next bathroom --"

"Uh, Dr. Possible. Could you let me worry about that when the time comes? I have a couple ideas I'm thinking about."

"I guess so, Shego, you've done a great job so far."

"Thanks, but it was Will and Ed who did most of the work. Oh, can Will eat with us tonight? I've been so tired I've been letting Bonnie take care of my family responsibilities, but I'm hoping you can invite him over for dinner and really meet him."

"Of course, we'd be delighted," Anne assured her.

Will gave his sister a dirty look. Bonnie gave her a smile and silently mouthed the word, "Thanks."

"Um, Dad? Monique and I wanted to ask you about something…"

---

Bonnie was there early the next morning to insure the proper paint went into the proper rooms. "You want which bedroom?" she demanded of Ron.

"The little one, just off the back stairs."

"But why? It's so small, and so …"

"So private? Yeah, seems like a good idea in a house full of women. I'll use the bathroom on the top floor. And the back stairs go right down to the kitchen. Why do you sound so upset?"

_"Yeah,"_ Will wondered, _"why does she sound so upset?"_

Bonnie had taken the middle of the three large bedrooms just to insure Ron would be in the next room.

Quite a crowd showed up for the painting. In addition to the Drs. Possible and the tweebs both of Ron's parents were there. Monique brought Will Du and her brother Martin with his current girl friend -- both of whom were probably there to see the inside of the Kringle place as much as to work. Wade was there in person, and Shego, who hadn't realized there would be so many volunteers, had recruited three Legal Lesbians with promises of beer and pizza when the work was done. And, much to everyone's surprise, the Renton handicapped accessible van pulled up and Felix and Justine Flanner got out. Justine was dressed in work clothes -- so new there was still a price tag on the slacks. She waved at Kim, "Felix said we should give you a hand."

"Thanks," Kim called. "We're glad for all the help."

---

"Felix, could you try and keep Kim busy today?" Ron asked.

"I'd rather help Justine paint. You don't think a guy in a wheel chair can do his part?"

"No, but Shego doesn't want her breathing in paint fumes all day when she's pregnant. And she's going to feel lousy if all her friends are here and she doesn't have anyone to talk with."

"Okay, I'll go have fun with her -- but I won't be happy about it. What about Justine?"

"The tweebs have a theory about chronological flux -- if she'd be willing to talk with them I think they'd love to talk with her. Wade would be a be a good person to work with her also -- one genius to another."

"I suppose it's okay…"

"Oh, and you and Kim will be doing the pizza run. With this crowd we'll be done in a few hours."

---

Will helped Bonnie in the room she had chosen. "Why do I feel this is all I'm going to mean when I tell Ed I got you alone in your bedroom?"

"Because it is. You're cute, but I don't think you're what I need. I want someone a little more serious. Maybe someone like Ed."

"Or maybe like Ron?"

"Maybe I'm a masochist. I want a nice guy, and it seems like none of them want me."

"Well, I know you're wrong about Ed not being interested. You might be wrong about Ron too. But, hey, I'm a connoisseur and I want you. Doesn't that little ego boost count for anything?"

"I appreciate the flattery. But I'm not that easy, and I'm afraid if I show you any affection you'll take it as a sign of something deeper or think I'm a tease."

Will laughed, "Bonnie. I hope you're available when I decide to get serious -- and believe me, you are the first girl I've ever said that to."

"I do believe you. But I'm not going to wait."

---

"Where are you and Felix? Painting will be done in about fifteen minutes."

"We're about three blocks away. We've got nine assorted large pizzas and ten two-liter bottles."

"Good. My crew didn't drink as much beer as I expected and we have plenty in the fridge."

"Shego, did anyone seriously want an artichoke hearts and anchovy pizza?"

"I did."

---

Kim watched closely as Justine went over to Felix and gave him a quick kiss on the lips. She couldn't tell if it was a simple "Hello" to a friend or "This is all you get with people watching us."

---

Will O'Ceallaigh glanced around at the crowd eating pizza. There must be another housemate he hadn't been introduced to. He and Ed had seen her a couple times as they worked and he thought he had seen her again today, but with the number of people around he could have been mistaken.

---

Felix and Justine were two of the last to leave. When the house was almost empty she approached Kim. "You know I'll be getting my Ph.D. at Berkeley this spring?"

"Yes, Felix told me. He said you were thinking about a job with Middleton Research."

"Well, I need a place to stay when I first get here. I don't want to move in with my parents. Eventually I'll find a place to buy or have to build a home… Are you going to get the elevator fixed here?"

"Uh, probably someday -- why?"

Justine blushed, "Well, I was wondering if I could rent that other bedroom from you until I get my own house? I mean, I have to stay somewhere, and I like you… Could I, please?"

"That doesn't tell me why you asked about the elevator. Tell me Justine. Say it out loud."

Justine was a bright red and unable to speak.

"Do we need a ramp to make it easier for Felix to get onto the front porch also?"

In the living room of the Kringle house Kim gave Justine a hug and promised to try and have the elevator fixed in June. In her mind Kim was shouting 'Yes!' and doing a little victory dance with her arms raised in the air.

---

**Translation:** A posse ad esse - From possibility to actuality


	3. Chapter 3 Dura lex, sed lex

Boilerplate Disclaimer: The various characters from the Kim Possible series are all owned by Disney. Any and all registered trade names property of their respective owners. Cheap shots at celebrities constitute fair usage.

This is one long chapter. I probably should have found a place to divide it into two.

**Chapter 3 - Dura lex, sed lex**

Classes at Middleton U started the Monday after the painting party, so no one was able to move in before classes started. A little furniture was purchased during the week, but it would take some time before the old Kringle home, newly rechristened as Possible Manor, could be called fully furnished. The first Saturday after classes started was the big moving day. Since they all left some of their belongings in their parent's homes -- except for Shego, of course, who had her possessions at the Lair -- it was a relatively easy move for everyone. Bonnie and Monique took the move the most seriously. Bonnie wanted to go back to her home as little as possible, and drafted Ron to help her load the U-Haul van. Monique seemed anxious to start establishing her own identity -- or perhaps she found her mother's kind interference as insufferable as the cruelty Bonnie endured at her home. It might even have been that Monique wanted to give her siblings more space for themselves, but with Will Du's help the two got most of Monique's belongings into her new room.

Ron perhaps moved the least, but after helping Bonnie he didn't feel like cooking and they ordered Chinese delivery. Will had seen a couple decks of cards with Monique's stuff and suggested a game of Texas Hold'em while they waited.

Without proper chips and an argument about whether a straight beat a flush or the other way around the game did not go smoothly, but they had fun.

"Can we try this again next Saturday?" Ron asked.

"I'll buy some chips so we can do it right," Monique promised.

---

Shego felt a definite resentment building towards Wade. She accepted that since she wouldn't be doing much work for DTP Lipsky, Inc. she should only draw a small retainer. What annoyed her was the fight it took in order to be given a key for the side door. Wade told her he would prefer at least a half hour's notice before she came to the Lair -- even to go to her own quarters -- and the two main labs were off limits to her, period. When she went to pick up most of her clothing and some of her music collection he had offered to help her -- but she suspected it was simply so he could hurry her out of the Lair and make sure she didn't stick her nose into a lab while there.

If it weren't for how busy she was with her new classes, LSAT application, and work on the house she would have broken in on general principals just to see what the mystery was all about.

---

Shego caught Dr. Possible's construction crew before they got started in the half bathroom behind the stairs.

"Let me see what you've got planned," she demanded. After looking over the plans she requested some changes.

"Look, lady. I'm not sure who you are, but James Possible signs the checks."

"I live here. And I want real slate on the floor and those other changes. I'll pay the difference. Hell, I'll pay for the whole job. Do I get a discount if I pay cash?"

"Yeah."

"Well, get this room ready before next weekend and you can pocket the difference as a bonus. And then we talk about the other bathrooms."

---

Kim, having been there, overdone that, worried that Shego had taken too many responsibilities on herself. In addition to two classes over a full load she was spending a lot of time worrying about the house. Kim also felt guilty that some of the worry was over the expected births -- the due date for the twins was now about a month away. It seemed like Shego mentioned a headache to Kim almost every night

---

The halfbath was completed before the baby shower and housewarming on Saturday. Because of the lack of furniture most of the guests ended up on rented folding chairs. The mothers of Kim, Ron, and Monique were in charge of the party. Bonnie had made sure her own mother was kept unaware of the event.

Middleton U started its second semester earlier than some schools and Felix and Justine would leave for California on Sunday. Most of the high school cheerleaders were there. Liz had already left for classes, but Crystal and Marcella also attended colleges which started later and were there, and Hope attended Middlton U.

Tara stole the spotlight by bringing her toddler. Jason was about one, with curly blonde hair and startlingly blue eyes. Someone picked him up and sat him on what was left of Kim's lap -- where he immediately grabbed a breast.

"Oh yeah, you can tell he's a guy," Bonnie laughed.

"Are you going to breast-feed?" Tara asked. "I think it is very important for mother-child bondage."

Everyone hoped she meant mother-child bonding, but no one dared say it.

Dr. Drakken had another unsupervised weekend and arrived with Wade. Wade carried a heavy package by himself because Drakken was limping badly, but once the package was placed on the gift table the blue man started walking much better. Drakken appeared ill at ease among the other guests and Shego gave him a private tour of the house so that they could have a chance to talk privately.

Kim wasn't certain how many of the of the guests she actually knew, since some of the guests for the house warming were friends of Bonnie, Monique, and Ron -- as well as friends of their mothers from church and synagogue. The biggest surprise, other than Drakken, had been when Anne Possible arrived with Kim's aunt and cousin Jocelyn.

"They didn't come just for the party, did they?" Kim asked her mom.

"No, dear. Uncle Slim got into town last night. Joss is tired of home and on-line schooling. She wants more social interaction. And it is a hundred mile bus trip -- each way -- to a high school with a good science program out in the middle of Montana. Your aunt and uncle have asked if she can stay with us during the school year for the next couple years. We're thinking of saying yes. Would it hurt your feelings if we gave her your old room?"

"I don't know. I guess it would be okay. It's not really my room any more, is it?"

Dr. Possible gave her daughter a kiss. "She really is a lot like you when you were fifteen. It will be like watching you grow up again."

"Maybe she won't be as much of a handful."

"I don't know Kimmie. Possibles and trouble just seem to go along together."

---

James Possible had not shared all the details about Kim with his brother, and Slim and his wife had shared even less with Joss. The first she had heard them mention Kim's pregnancy and a baby shower was as they flew in from Montana. Joss racked her brain, she couldn't even remember Kim's wedding. The young girl listened to the former cheerleaders talking, and stormed into the kitchen with tears in her eyes to confront Ron.

Joss was trembling with rage and fear when she confronted him, "Are you the daddy?"

Ron liked the little redhead, and didn't know what it would be best to say to her, but believed the honesty was an acceptable policy. "No, I'm not," he said softly.

"Well, those girls out there sure think you are."

"I know. I told Kim to let people think that. It's easier on Kim."

"Easier on Kim? Having people think you're going to be a daddy? Easier on Kim than what?"

To add to the confusion Shego ushered Drakken into the kitchen at that moment.

"This is the kitchen. Incredible, isn't it? Wouldn't you love one like this in the Lair? Hey, Stoppable, how are the hor d'oeuvres coming along?"

"Just great, you going to help serve?"

"The buffoon lives here too?" Drakken interjected. "You're living with all my old enemies?"

"They're not your enemies. Are you still taking all your medications?"

"Please, Shego, it's bad enough you're sleeping with Kim Possible. Don't lecture me on controlled substances."

"I'll be back in a minute," Shego promised Ron. "I'm going to ask Wade to watch him."

They could hear Drakken complaining, "I don't need to be watched…" as Shego dragged him back to the living room.

Joss's eyes were wide and she was trembling even harder when Ron looked back at her. "Sit down, Joss. You're family. She'll tell you if you ask. She can tell you better than I can. But I'm worried you're going to imagine something worse than what happened…"

---

Joss's lower jaw was hanging down when Ron finished. She had no idea what to say about Kim. "Ron, you must be her best friend in the world."

"Oh yeah, best friends since forever."

"I thought maybe you and she would, you know."

"You have older brothers, don't you?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Kim and I trying to date would be like you going out with a brother."

"Eeeww, ick."

"Shego was a surprise. But I know Kim is good for her. And crazy as it sounds, I think she's good for Kim too."

"Ron, can I kind of hang out in the kitchen with you? I feel kinda outa place bein' the youngest person here and all. An I'm not sure what to say to cousin Kim. And what should I call that green lady now?"

"Sure kid, you can help me in here. Should I introduce you to Shego, or do you want me to run interference for you so you don't have to talk with her?"

"I'd sure appreciate some interference, at least for a little while. I kinda feel like a steer just kicked me in the head."

Monique and Bonnie noticed that Joss spent more time in the kitchen talking with Ron than she did in the room where the shower was going on. Monique nudged Bonnie, "Looks like you have some competition."

"That's not competition, that's a crush. I could break her in half if I needed to."

"She's a Possible, Bonnie. Never bet against a Possible. Except in Texas Hold'em."

Both women laughed.

---

Joss felt like she was years younger than everyone else at the party except for Tara's Jason. That wasn't quite true.

"Who's that girl who came in with your Mom and that other lady?" Wade asked. "She's really cute."

"That's my cousin, Jocelyn. We call her Joss."

"Does she live around here?"

"No. Her dad and my dad are brothers. They live out in Montana."

"Darn!"

Kim didn't tell him about her earlier talk with her mom. A lot could change before classes began at Middleton High that fall.

---

"Uh, What is it?" Shego asked as she opened the package from DTP Lipsky, Inc. "And what are the headphones for?"

"It's a sleep inducer," Drakken chuckled. "Something every parent will want. This is the first prototype. Set it on the five, ten, or fifteen minutes interval. Turn it on and the crankiest baby is asleep within minutes."

"And the headphones?"

"Those are ear guards, not headphones. They're there to protect you, of course. It will put a mother to sleep just as fast as a baby."

Tara and every other mother in the room, and everyone who had ever worked as a baby sitter, besieged the Dr. with questions about when the sleep inducer would be in general production.

Shego remained suspicious of the device, but didn't mention her reservations until she got the doctor alone. He was expecting a thank you when she picked him up and slammed him against the wall, "It's more fucking mind control, isn't it?"

"Shego, whatever are you talking about?"

"The sleep inducer, Dr. D, it takes over the listener's brain, right?"

"Not at all."

"Is it some sort of terrorist device -- broadcast the signal to a plane and put the pilot to sleep -- or play it in a crowd and rob everyone while they're asleep?"

"You can't play it over regular speakers -- the timbre is all wrong. It only works with the speakers on the sleep inducer."

"What's your angle, Doc? You always have an angle."

"I'm going to make hundreds of millions of dollars with it. You saw how the mothers lined up to ask about getting one for themselves. And sleep clinics! Sleep clinics everywhere would buy them. The stressed out and insomniacs all over the world will beg for them, they'll pay any price I demand."

"So you're going to manufacture them, for real?"

"Of course not, Shego, that would be too much work. It would put all the pharmaceutical companies who make sleep aids and premium mattress companies out of business. I figure they'll pay hundreds of millions if I agree not to manufacture them. It will make me as much as that two hundred mile per gallon carburetor the gas companies paid me not to make. And I can probably license the speaker technology for a few million more to audio companies."

---

James and Slim picked up their wives and Joss after the shower. While Anne showed the family around the house Shego pulled James into the kitchen.

"Can I pay you back for the money you've spent on the house?"

"You want to buy the house?"

"No, you should keep it in your name. I'm just paying you back."

"I don't understand."

"If the house is in my name I could lose in a lawsuit, the court might award punitive damages. I want you to keep it in your name so the courts can't get it."

"But when I report the financial transactions on my taxes won't it be clear you own the place?"

"Look, you just put the money back in your savings and reinvest the money. Why does the IRS even need to know it was gone?

"Shego, I really appreciate what you're trying to do. But it's not the way I do things. It's not the way Kim was raised."

"Well, that helps me to understand Kim a little better. You both need to loosen up, you know that?"

"I'm going to take that as a compliment."

---

With the house finally empty of guests Kim and Shego sat on the couch and looked around at the mess in the living room. Little Jason had managed to spread wrapping paper everywhere. Kim asked Shego, "Do you believe in premonitions?"

"I knew you were going to ask that."

Kim picked up a cushion and hit Shego with it; taking advantage of the fact Shego wouldn't fight back while Kim was pregnant.

"You mean like good and bad omens, or reading the future in tea leaves?" Shego asked.

"No, I mean like a sense of seeing the future."

"I can't say that I've ever had something like that, why?"

"Because when I held Jason today I felt like I could see about sixteen years in the future... And the two girls were really fighting over him. Can I hate him now, or do I have to wait until he actually breaks one of their hearts?"

"You have to wait Kim. It's bad luck to hate a one year old for breaking an unborn daughter's heart. Do you know if it was Jacob or Esau who won?"

---

At eight the doorbell rang.

"Were we expecting anyone else for the game?" Bonnie asked.

"Oh, I forgot to mention I invited Wade and Dr. D. to sit in with us tonight."

"Shego! Why?"

"Isn't Wade your friend, Kim?"

"Yes, but I don't know about being at the same table with Drakken."

"Relax, the Institute says that as long as he's on his medication he's mostly harmless."

The feeling appeared to be mutual; Drakken sat as far away from Kim as was physically possible at the table. Ron suggested that they each put five dollars into a pool, with the winner of the night collecting everything.

"Sound okay," Monique agreed. "But next time we play the winner pays for pizza."

"I won't be here next time you play," Drakken reminded them.

"I don't think you need to worry about winning," Will Du told him.

"No artichoke and anchovy pizza," Kim declared.

"Hey, that's my favorite," Shego protested.

"It gives you gas."

"Yeah, but I also get really good dreams after eating one."

With real money involved Ron got out his secret weapon, a pair of mirrored sunglasses. Shego was already in a white shirt with a dark vest for the occasion, and pulled on a dark green visor. Will had worn a ten-gallon Stetson, which looked so ridiculous on him that Monique took it off his head and put it on her own. On Monique it looked cute.

"What do the colors mean?" Monique asked as they gave her a pile of chips.

"The whites are ones, the reds are five, and the blues are 10."

"One, five, and ten what?"

"Just write in at the bottom of the piece of paper where you have what beats what listed."

Shego cut the right of first deal. As she was shuffling Will took out his second weapon, a cigar, and offered another one to the dealer.

Shego dealt the hole cards before lighting her own, and Will's cigars with a plasma flame.

"I didn't know either of you smoked," Ron observed.

"I think it adds to the atmosphere of a poker game," Will explained.

"It does do that," Monique coughed.

"I don't smoke as a regular thing -- unless I'm on fire," Shego said, "but I've picked up some filthy habits over the years."

Kim looked at her hole cards, "This filthy habit raises ten."

"Bets ten, Kim. You can't raise unless someone else has bet first."

"Well, no one had picked me up in a long time, " Bonnie complained. "I fold."

"Will was certainly trying to pick you up," Shego reminded her.

"WILL!"

"Not your Will, Monique, my brother Will."

"Uh, I'm not Monique's Will."

"Oh, yes you are dear. Are you the only one here who doesn't know that?"

Shego watched the other players carefully. In her mind Will Du was the real competition. Monique was simply there to have fun and didn't care what happened. Kim and Drakken were equally awful, but their pride demanded that they defeat the other and they bet wildly -- both of them moving all in with what they had left after about eight hands. Bonnie took the pot with three deuces and Drakken laughed at Kim, "My pair of eights beat your sevens," completely ignoring the fact they were both out of the game. Wade was surprisingly bad, having a great sense of the mathematics of the game, but not much understanding of the psychology. Bonnie was hard to gauge. She was clearly new at the game and exhibited some strong tells. But Shego suspected that Bonnie was sneaky enough that the tells could be faked when the theatre major caught on to the game and needed to bluff. Ron played with a random Zen abandonment -- sometimes making large bets without having looked at his hole cards.

Shego suspected Will played better than she did, but with Monique regularly taking chips from him to continue in the game the two stayed about even in chip count.

"Excuse me, Will, but has Global Justice ever gotten a picture of Pool Shark?"

"Still don't have one. The Shark must be the highest profile criminal for whom we don't even have a profile. Why?"

"I'm just remembering how easily you beat Stoppable at eight ball a year ago."

"Come one, Shego," Ron insisted, "that was just luck."

"If you were using luck to win you deserved to get beaten," Will told him. Turning back to Shego, "Are you suggesting I could be Pool Shark?"

"Just asking if Global Justice had a picture."

"Awfully sexist of you, Shego."

"How so?"

"You don't think a woman is smart enough to run an international gambling syndicate?"

When Bonnie was eliminated Will cut Monique off from further chips and Ron, Shego and Will quickly became the final three. Bonnie took over the position of dealer for the last hands. The game ended with Ron getting lucky on the turn or river three hands in a row.

Will pushed his last chips over to Ron with a look of disgust. Then he looked across the table to Shego and extended his hand, "There is no beating dumb luck."

With an air of quiet dignity she shook his hand, "Yea, verily. One of us will win next time."

"Oh, I'm sure the best MAN will win next time."

"You are so going down."

---

The Drs. Possible had Kim and Shego over for dinner Sunday night. They wanted Slim's family to have more of an opportunity to meet Kim's partner.

"Well, it could have gone worse," Kim observed cheerily as she drove home.

"Easy for you to say, I was the ant under the magnifying glass. Your aunt and uncle do not approve of us. Or maybe they just don't approve of me."

"They weren't talking to me either, but Joss was doing her best to be nice."

"Kim, if your cousin had called me 'Miss Shego' one more time I would have screamed."

---

"Hello, Kim. I'm glad you called."

"Dr. Director! I didn't ask them to connect me to you."

"That's okay. I heard you were on the line and wanted to say hello. How are you doing? How much longer until the babies are due?"

"I'm feeling tired most of the time. Dr. Schultz says my due date is in three weeks -- but a week or two either side of that is normal."

"Will you want to work with Global Justice this summer? We would love to have you."

"I hope I can. It depends on how fast I can get back into shape."

"Would it be worth asking Ronald again, or has he written off working for us?"

"I'm not sure. He's been very happy with the training he's been getting. I'll ask him what his plans are."

"Why did you call, Kim?"

"Well, Shego talks about wanting to try and clean up some of her record."

"That's a good idea. She's already wiggled out from some serious charges, but she can't stay lucky forever."

"I'm wondering if I could get a copy of the Global Justice report on her?"

"I'll see that you are sent a copy of the file. It's heavy reading."

"Thank you."

---

"My dad called today."

"What did he have to say, Princess?"

"Mom mentioned how nice the little half bathroom looked when she was here for the shower. He's never gotten a bill for that work. Do you know anything about that?"

"I took care of it."

"Can I ask what you mean by you took care of it?"

"If you want to ask anything beyond the most basic meaning of those words you probably shouldn't. The most basic meaning is I paid the bill. Your folks have done plenty for us. I wanted it done my way, and I paid to have it done my way. Do you have a problem with that?"

"I guess not. But you say it like I might find something I don't like if I ask too many questions."

"You and your dad are a lot alike. And you might not like the way I'm doing things. So don't ask and I won't tell. I'm trying to take a little of the financial pressure off him, and that's what you need to remember."

---

A large package arrived via UPS for Kim that afternoon. She waited until after supper to ambush Shego with the contents.

"I thought you were supposed to be a great thief!" Kim yelled, waving the stack of papers. "How could they have warrants out for you in all these countries? You had to be trying to get into trouble!"

"A little quieter Pumpkin, I've got a headache."

If anything Kim's voice went up a little as she looked at the list of charges, "I don't even know where some of these places are -- what is Andorra?"

"It's a little country in the Pyrenees between France and--"

"THAT'S NOT THE POINT!"

"Please Kim, my head. Okay, would you respect me more if I told you about all the crimes I've never been charged with because no one knew I committed them?"

"SHEGO!"

Kim stalked off in anger. Shego started to look through the mountain of paper, it was hard to make sense out of some of the material before her and she quickly stopped trying.

Shego leaned back, a cold washcloth over her eyes, _"We didn't know each other nearly long enough…"_

---

Two days later, after supper, Shego announced, "Stoppable, I found a carpenter with a few days off. He gave me a special rate if I acted fast. I'm going to have him do the back stairs. If he does a good job I'll have him back later for the main stairs and the bay window."

"Is that going to be the problem I think it is?"

"Afraid so. You'll need to be out of your room for three or four days while the back stairs are rebuilt, stained and varnished -- and there will be no access to the top floor."

"Ah well, have futon will travel."

"The rest of us would appreciate it if you took a few changes of clothing with you too," Kim suggested.

"I ordered a bed for the spare bedroom," Shego apologized, "but it hasn't arrived yet. Sorry."

Ron looked so unhappy Bonnie asked, "You want to come in with me for a few days so you don't have to sleep in an empty room?"

"Et tu, Bonnie?" Ron laughed. "What is this, tease the cook night? Thanks for trying to cheer me up."

_"I was being serious, Ron."_

---

"Kim, I asked a rabbi to come over tonight. Can you come in and talk with us? I should have warned you… But I was talking with her today over at the Religious Studies Department and she said she had a little time this evening."

---

Shego kept the introductions fairly simple. "Rabbi, this is my partner, Kim Possible. These will be our daughters. Kim, this is Ruth Horowitz, she teaches at the U and has a Reconstructionist congregation here in Middleton."

They moved to the living room. Kim and Shego sat on the couch and the rabbi took the single chair -- the room was still mostly bare. Shego put her hand on Kim's and gave it a little squeeze.

"You teach and have a congregation?" Kim asked.

"Yes, the congregation is so small I'm bi… Oh, that means bi-vocational. Besides, I love to teach. We're so small we don't even have our own shul, the Presbyterians let us meet in their building. I don't have a simple yes or no answer for you two. But I've been thinking about your question all afternoon and I'll give you my opinion and let you decide from there."

"What was the question?" Kim asked. She felt Shego's warm hand grasp her own a little tighter as she asked.

"The question of whether I'd marry you two." Kim stared over at Shego, who gave her a smile. Kim glared back at her.

"Ah, Sharon, you didn't tell me this would be a surprise for Kim. Maybe we should talk another time."

"It's not exactly a surprise. But this wasn't how she was supposed to ask," Kim explained.

"I can come back later."

"No, please stay," Kim said. "If you leave now she may try to weasel out of it again. But can you do a wedding?"

"I can perform a religious ceremony. The state won't recognize it -- but if you went to Canada, or Spain, or Massachusetts and were married there the state here wouldn't recognize it."

"Jews do that?"

"Individual rabbis have a lot of freedom and many rabbis won't perform them. As denominations, however, the Reconstructionist, Reform, and Conservative movements all recognize and will perform same sex marriages."

"The Conservatives?"

"Don't confuse the term's political meanings with Jewish identity."

Shego nudged Kim with her elbow, "See, Kim, a religion that says we're okay as a couple."

"Uh, not exactly Sharon. Many Jews would still have a problem with you and Kim." Shego felt Kim nudge her with an elbow. "And as an individual rabbi I have some reservations about you."

Kim smirked at Shego, "This is a very wise woman."

"What is your problem rabbi?"

"Well, I believe your story. But it means you are the third generation raised with no sense of Jewish identity. I hate to sound suspicious, but I really don't know you. You have asked me to perform a marriage, but I'm only going to perform a wedding for someone I know is committed to a Jewish life. I get Christians who come into my office and want to be Jewish -- until they take my class in comparative religion and then they want to be Buddhists."

"What do I need to do to convince you?"

"Well, traditionally there are three major ways of defining Jewish identity. First, do you know what you call an uncircumcised Jewish baby?"

"No."

"A girl."

The rabbi continued. "The second is the Sabbath. And Jews have been arguing about how to keep the Sabbath for more than two thousand years. Christians sometimes read their New Testament and imagine that Jesus argues with his enemies, the Jews, over how to keep the Sabbath. Jesus is a Jew, talking like a Jew and saying what Jews before and after him said to Jews who disagreed with that opinion. We're still arguing about how to keep the Sabbath. I won't tell you how you should do it, but you should try to make it a special day for you in some way."

"So, if I wanted to get in my pajamas, eat popcorn and watch movies that would be okay?"

The rabbi sighed. "If it makes the day special and different from other days. I hope you can find something a little more serious than that. Candle lighting would be nice. Oh, traditionally the rabbis taught it was important to make love with your partner on the Sabbath."

Shego nudged Kim in the ribs with her elbow again, "Is this a great religion or what? Making love isn't a sin."

"Sharon, can you do something to set the Sabbath apart?"

"You bet, rabbi!" Shego assured her enthusiastically.

"And finally, we have the laws of kashrut. I would like you to keep realistically kosher for a year. If you can do that I will recognize your sincerity and be able to consider performing the wedding."

"What do you mean realistically kosher? I'm trying to give up pork already."

"That's good. There are a lot of laws in regard to kashrut. You can drive yourself crazy with them and would want to forget it all when you are done -- even if you could stick with it for a year. Or you can start with a level you can live with. You can take on more of the rules if you find them meaningful. I don't want you to resent it. You'll probably need several sessions with me to understand the rules--"

"Uh, rabbi--"

"Please, call me Ruth."

"Okay, Ruth. We have a Jewish friend who does most of the cooking here. Could he explain it?"

"Not necessarily. How many Christians can explain Christian theology? Can I talk with him?"

Shego let out a yell, "STOPPABLE!"

"Yeah?" could be heard from the kitchen.

"Front and center, the rabbi wants to talk with you!"

Ron came into the living room, drying his hands on a dishtowel. "Rabbi Katz, here?"

"I'm sorry, they called you in under false pretenses. You're a member of Beth Zion?"

"Yeah."

"I'm asking Sharon to commit to a year of following kashrut. How observant are you? If you belong to Beth Zion you probably know the rules."

"Well, I think I know them, but there's so much mishagas I'm not observant."

"That's what I'd like to avoid. I don't want it to be a burden."

"So we don't need four sets of dishes?"

"I'll take one. But paper for Pesach. Oh, and no chametz in the house for Pesach."

"Heckscher for cheese?"

"Not necessary. Strict with the milkig and fleishig rules, and make sure the meat is heckschered."

"Glatt?"

"That's mishagas."

"Are you sure you're a rabbi?"

"See, that's why you aren't observant."

"Well, that and the fact I really like BLTs. Hey, for the rest of us in the house, do we have to keep kosher too?"

"Only in keeping chametz out of the house during Pesach. I hope you can explain the basic rules to Sharon."

"Oh, I'll be glad to tell her what to do, " Ron smiled. "Anything else you need me for right now? I've got homework I want to start on."

"No, that's fine."

Shego planned to ask Ron for a translation of that exchange later in the evening. After Ron left Kim returned to the earlier conversation. "Rabbi, you also said there was a problem with me and Sharon."

"Yes, Kim. Three branches of Judaism have no real problem with same sex marriage. But Conservative and Reform officially discourage their rabbis from performing mixed marriages. Some rabbis will, as a matter of individual conscious, but it's their choice."

"And the Reconstructionists?"

"About half the Jews in America marry non-Jews. We think that rabbis who tell their congregants 'The synagogue doesn't want you any more if you marry a gentile,' hurt our future. As a branch we will perform mixed marriages. As an individual I want to know you support Sharon's life choices."

"So, what do I need to do?"

"Be loving. Be accepting. Be supportive. If you can't do that what point is there in marriage? Can you do that?"

Kim looked at Shego and smiled, then she took the pale woman's hand and squeezed gently. "I can try," she promised.

"Can we schedule the wedding for February fourteenth next year?"

"Sharon, St. Valentine's Day is NOT a Jewish holiday."

"Exactly. So you won't be busy with any congregational duties, right?"

The rabbi turned to Kim, "Is she always like this?"

"For as long as I've know her."

"I really have to run. I have a meeting. Oh, how long have you two known each other?"

"We first met about five years ago."

The rabbi looked hard at Kim, and Shego realized she was trying to guess Kim's age. "Nothing happened until she was eighteen. I swear it!"

"Well, that's long enough for a good friendship to develop. The best indicator for a happy marriage is an established friendship."

Shego showed the rabbi to the door. Kim was laughing too hard to go with them. "She's really very bright," Shego assured the rabbi. "She's just mentally unbalanced at the moment because of the pregnancy."

"Oh, and I'd like to talk with you sometime about how you'll raise the girls."

---

Shego checked the house over carefully, making sure no one else was back from class. She felt awkward and out of place, it had been so long she wasn't sure if this was a good idea of not. She sat by the window to watch the front walk, planning to stop when anyone else returned. Would the joints and pads even be in playable condition after so many years? When she opened the case she found the flute in good condition. She wondered if her father had checked and maintained it over the years to keep it in working order, or had gotten it done while she was there. As busy as her schedule was she felt an obligation to keep faith with him. She breathed softly over the embouchure hole. It would take time, and no one would hear her until she was ready, but she would be ready for the next trip to visit her family

---

The next day, when Kim arrived home from classes, she found Shego in the living room with two women, sorting through the Global Justice materials on Shego.

"Kim, you know Rina. This is Mag, she's a new Legal. They both have an interest in international law and are helping me organize the accusations against me."

"And you'd owe us big time if we could charge you, but that would be practicing law without a license."

"Can we back bill her when we pass the bar?"

The Legals stayed through supper, heaping enough praise on Ron for his cooking that he didn't complain about unexpected guests.

After supper Shego explained the various stacks of documents to Kim.

"These were the Federal charges against me. The Department of Justice isn't going after me on these."

"Did you ever figure out why?"

"No. I'm just grateful, and hope nobody changes his mind. This stack contains the state charges. They're all property crimes so they can't hang me. But if the trial goes badly I'll end up in prison for a long time. And I may need to pay off the insurance companies if I want to look good at the trial. If I'm lucky I'll only get probation for the rest of my life."

"Insurance companies?"

"Well, they probably paid off the damages I caused, so they'd be the ones most anxious to go after me. But it's not like they lost money -- they raised their rates so they'd make a profit. So companies I stole from got charged more in higher premiums -- so they raised costs on products. I probably owe something like two dollars and sixteen cents to every single person in the state."

"I know Bonnie and Ron will want theirs back."

"This is Canada." Shego said, showing Kim a couple pieces of paper. "I'm square with them now. This pile is my summer with André, when I first decided I would be a thief. I really thought the way to make a name for myself was to become wanted in a lot of countries. I waved to security cameras as I stole things! I don't know how I stayed alive that year; I was too stupid for words. I put those little break-ins from when I was tutoring Junior in the pile. If he had been better we wouldn't have been seen at all on those. I may send his dad a bill for those."

"Send him a bill?"

"Sure, this is all minor stuff. A lot of my early stuff was shoplifting, and the crimes with Junior were probably about that level. I need to talk with the prof who teaches international law, but the Legals thought I could probably get rid of this pile with some fines, a couple nights in jails, and some community service. If they let me leave the country I'll take care of this pile over the summer."

"What is that really big pile? What are you going to do about those?"

"Oh, that's the easy pile. Those are crimes I didn't commit."

"Then why are they here?"

"For years I was the James gang, Kelly gang, and Barrow gang."

"You need to explain that."

"They were all gangs of criminals who had gotten so notorious that whenever something happened and the police didn't know who to blame they'd blame the gang. There is no evidence linking me to any of these crimes -- because I didn't do them."

"So what can you do about that?"

"The Legals said I should contact the different law enforcement agencies, tell them where I am, let them question me if they want, and then demand they put up or shut up -- formally charge me if they have evidence or clear me as a suspect."

"And the last pile?"

Shego passed them to Kim, who read the top page as Shego continued to talk. "That handful will be trouble. I committed these crimes, and they're all fairly serious. I'm not always sure if they have evidence to convict me--"

"You stole the crown jewels!"

"Only two of them."

"But, you stole the crown jewels!"

"It was still early in my career. I didn't charge nearly enough for the job. If I'd been thinking I'd have taken some for myself."

"But, you stole the crown jewels!"

"You really need to get past that Kim. I think they put in some of the current security after I did it. And like I say, I don't know if they would have enough evidence to convict me."

Kim sat very still with her lips firmly together so she wouldn't repeat what she was thinking. Shego continued. "Anyway, I figure the Brits would really like them back before the Queen dies and Charlie becomes king. They substituted a couple fakes in the Tower. You can't tell they're fake behind all that security glass, but if they are taken out for the coronation someone might get close enough to realize they're paste. If they had enough hard evidence they'd ask for extradition, but you can get convicted on circumstantial evidence if a jury is in a bad mood. Anyway, that's one of the sticky ones. No way I can visit England with that hanging over my head."

"Okay, so the three problem piles are the state charges, the small stuff, and this handful. What about the pile that isn't here?"

"The pile that isn't here?"

"You mentioned it a couple days ago. The crimes you committed and no one had any idea you were responsible. What about those?"

"What about them?"

"Are you going to confess them to somebody or something?"

Shego spoke slowly to Kim, in small words, as if the younger woman were feeble minded. "No. I am not going to tell anyone about them. And that means you too. I will not look for trouble. I will do something. And that something is to ignore them."

"But crime shouldn't pay!"

"One word for you, Kim. Halliburton."

"But you're getting religious. Doesn't that mean you are supposed to confess or something."

"First, I'm getting religious -- not stupid. That's one of the things I like about the Reconstructionists. Second, as near as I can tell confession is for Roman Catholics. I don't know how many Hail Marys a priest would ask me to do - but it would be too many."

"And you can just live with that?"

"Do you want me to go to prison? Wait a minute, you're the one asking me to violate the law."

"I'm what!"

"Right there in the Constitution. Fifth Amendment. It says you don't have to rat yourself out. You are asking me to violate the Fifth Amendment."

"Are you serious?"

"I'm the one standing up for the Constitution of the United States. You're the one who thinks I should be guilty of self incrimination."

"That's ridiculous."

"Oh, so the Constitution of the United States is ridiculous?"

"You're twisting my words."

"I'm sorry. I thought I was just quoting you. Why don't you explain to me again why you want me to give up my Constitutional rights for the security of a long prison term?"

---

Shego spent the night sleeping on the couch in the living room.

---

**Translation:** Dura lex, sed lex - The law is harsh, but it is the law

AN / Pool Shark was first mentioned in chapter 7 of Cognitive Dissonance. There are no plans, at present, to explain what that means for Will, Kim, Ron, and Shego.


	4. Chapter 4 Amantes sunt amentes

Boilerplate Disclaimer: The various characters from the Kim Possible series are all owned by Disney. Any and all registered trade names property of their respective owners. Cheap shots at celebrities constitute fair usage.

A very warm thank you to those who have posted reviews. I see some stories that say "Will accept no flames." I haven't seen any for my works so I am not sure why some folk post that. The few times I've had folks point out problems they've been right and I am happy a reader cared enough to point out an error.

**Chapter 4 - Amantes sunt amentes **

Shego arrived at the Lair in a foul mood. The fact she played by Wade's rules and had to call to set up an appointment to what she still viewed as her own place added to her frustration. The garage/hangar had been her domain when Drakken was in charge, and she had purchased tools as she saw fit and done what she damn well pleased. Now Wade had her filling out purchase orders. Purchase orders! What was next? Would he make her clock in and out and charge her for time spent on her private projects?

A little of the frustration disappeared as she pulled the engine block. The headaches disappeared when she was working with her hands. She could have taken the engine apart, worked on it, and reassembled it with her eyes closed. It gave her a sense of accomplishment; it told her she was competent. She felt nervous every time she handed in a paper -- would the professor think she'd done a good job or see she'd missed what was important? Could she really do well on the LSAT or was she only fooling herself. Even if she did well on the LSAT there was no guarantee Middleton Law would accept her -- it was a good program and lots of applicants were turned down. What would happen when she went to trial? Too much of her life seemed beyond her control. But when she worked with her hands she knew what she could do, and the inert pile of steel she had paid to have towed into the garage would purr when she drove it out.

Yesterday's fight with Kim had not helped. Shego wondered how she could have fallen in love with someone so naive. Sometimes Shego felt like Kim needed to grow up. Did she want Shego to go to prison? Thinking about how unreasonable Kim could be brought her back to the earlier fight over taxes. It was your sacred duty as an American citizen to avoid paying as much tax as possible. What in the hell other reason was there for people to vote for Republican candidates? They had no domestic, social, or foreign policy and were still able to fool some of the people all of the time. She doubted that Kim had ever held a meaningful job in her life. Oh, Kim's work was important -- but she did it as a hobby, because she enjoyed it. Her Mom and Dad were always there to buy her what she needed. Even that Global Justice internship was a game for Kim, she didn't know how to live on money she earned for herself.

Kim arrived back from class in a foul mood. She needed a way to work out her frustration, but with the due date a week away Dr. Shultz advised her to take it easy. She wanted to go into the gym and beat on a heavy bag until she collapsed from exhaustion. She wanted to spar; she felt the need to knock someone down. Shego was the person she wanted to knock over -- smug, grinning Shego. Yes, Shego was a little older and had more life experiences. But that didn't mean she had all the answers and could treat Kim in a patronizing manner. Shego's life choices were proof she didn't have all the answers. Here she was, saying she wanted to change her life around and still skirting the law. She had obviously lived at the edge of society for too long and needed to readjust to living with other people.

Shego glanced over at the clock, _"God almighty! Where had the time gone?"_ Wade must have left for home hours ago -- probably assuming she was gone also. The rings, seals, and gaskets had all been replaced and she had started to reassemble the engine. There was no way she could get the job done tonight, and she hadn't meant to work this long. There was homework she should have done this evening, even though it would have left her head hurting. She considered calling Kim to apologize for being late, and then wondered why Kim hadn't called her to ask where she was. If Kim didn't care she wouldn't give her the satisfaction of a call.

Kim glanced over at the clock, _"Damn it, where had Shego gone?"_ She should have been home hours ago. And it wasn't the first time she had pulled this stunt either. This was the third time in the last two weeks when she didn't call, didn't explain where she was -- just showed up late and rummaged around in the refrigerator for something to eat when she got home. It was bad enough that poor Ron had the extra work of special meals for her, the least she could do is call him if she was going to be late. And what if Kim had gone into labor? Shego shouldn't let herself get out of touch like that. Kim considered calling Shego to make sure she was okay, and then decided it had been Shego's responsibility to call her. If Shego didn't care enough to let her know what was happening, she wouldn't give Shego the satisfaction of a call.

Finally, Kim gave up on Shego and went to bed. They had only been together for a month and a half, but Kim already missed not having Shego there. She took Pandaroo off the rocking chair and hugged the Cuddle Buddy™ who had been with her so many years as she tried to go to sleep. She wondered if she should try Drakken's sleep inducer, but shared some of Shego's concerns over the device.

Finally, Shego arrived back at the dark house. She opened the front door quietly -- the back door made more noise and was more likely to wake up Ron. Her stomach growled and she thought of trying to find something to eat, but decided her need for sleep was greater. She'd have a big breakfast tomorrow. She looked in at the living room couch, wondering if she should sleep downstairs again. She put off a decision until after she brushed her teeth and got into her pajamas.

Kim had left the light on Shego's nightstand turned on so the pale woman wouldn't trip over anything. Clearly Kim had expected her.

Shego slipped into bed quietly enough to not disturb Kim, but without even waking up Kim exchanged Pandaroo for her new cuddle buddy. They had only been together for a month and a half, but already Shego was losing the habit of sleeping alone engrained in her by so many years of practice. She smiled to herself as she repeated her new mantra until she fell asleep, _"There's no place like home… There's no place like home… There's no place… "_

---

Shego limited herself to two hours a day at the Lair, working on her project during the day whenever possible to avoid more late nights. Wade even offered to help. She wasn't sure if he was watching her or trying to get her finished and out of the Lair faster, but she was too grateful for real help to complain.

---

"Do you remember what we were doing a year ago? Hard to believe so much has happened in a year, isn't it."

Shego smiled. "I'm thinking about a year from today. That will be pretty hard to believe too."

"All those years fighting you, and I never knew you were such a romantic. Married on Valentine's Day… Wait a minute; are you romantic or cheap? Do you just want them together so one gift will cover Valentine's Day and our anniversary?"

"I'm romantic, cheap, and practical. It will be real hard to forget our anniversary. And remember -- you'll need to get something for your wife too."

"Weren't we going to alternate Valentine's Day duties? I made reservations for the Astor tonight -- I had to call in some favors to get one this late. You'd better not be late again tonight… Where were you?"

"That's a surprise -- you'll have to wait. I'm sorry I was late, but Wade and I worked later than we planned to get it finished."

"The surprise will be for me?"

"Yes."

"I'm sorry I got so upset with you. And I'm sorry about the other night. We still don't communicate very well. I need to try and see things from your point of view." Kim kissed her partner, "I really do love you."

Neither felt any desire to move from the warm bed and each other. "Oh, thinking about the wedding reminds me, Ruth asked if the chavurah could meet at our house sometime. I told her yes."

"I wish you wouldn't remember other women when I kiss you. What's a chavurah?"

"As near as I can tell from her description its kind of a Bible study group for Jews."

"That's fine, dear. I'm loving and supportive. Remember?"'

They spent more time under the blankets, until Shego noticed the time. "I've got to get moving. I have a class at ten and I didn't do enough preparation yesterday. I have to do some reading. But I'd much rather be a sloth and stay here with your arms around me."

Kim giggled.

"What's so funny?"

"You said sloth."

"I know I said it. I don't think the line was all that funny. Is it my delivery?"

"Do you remember the animology fad a couple years ago?"

"Yes."

"Guess who was a pink sloth?"

"I've got no idea, Kim. But I'm sure it wasn't you."

"Ron!"

"Really… Yeah, as I remember him back then, he probably was. I wonder if you would be different animals if you took the test at different times in your life? I think Ron is too assertive now to still be a pink sloth. I hope a person can change. I took the personality test and it said I lacked ambition and was terribly self-centered -- focused on no one but myself."

"Oh, that was you a few years ago. You took the test? Do you remember what animal you were?"

"I do. When I took it then it said I was a yellow trout. But I'd like to take the personality test again and see what it would say about me now."

"Don't you dare take it again!"

"Why not?"

"Because I was a blue fox."

They stared into each other's eyes, then together they whispered, "Soul-mates." By the time they got out of bed to dress for school Shego had to abandon all plans to get any reading done before class.

---

**Translation:** Amantes sunt amentes - Lovers are lunatics


	5. Chapter 5 Dies natalis

Boilerplate Disclaimer: Disney owns the various characters from the Kim Possible series. Cheap shots at celebrities constitute fair usage.

**Chapter 5 - Dies natalis **

"Shego? Wake up! The contractions are regular and getting closer together."

Shego rolled out of bed, literally. Hitting the floor helped restore her to consciousness. "The bags are in the trunk of the car. Let's go."

"Should I wake up Monique or Bonnie? You had so much trouble getting to sleep last night I don't know if you should drive.

"I'm fine Kim. How many fingers am I holding up?"

"Two."

"See, I knew that. I can drive."

--

A police car put on its flashers and pulled up behind them within a few blocks of the house. "I'm not stopping!"

"Come on, Shego. They aren't going to write you a ticket."

She jammed on the brakes.

"Turn off your engine," the officer shouted from his car.

"No! That you Hobble? You can turn on your flashers and lead the way to the hospital or you get to deliver twins -- right here, right now!"

"Shego, I don't think I'm that close to delivery."

But the threat had been enough -- the police car pulled in front of them and Shego followed.

--

"You were right to come to the hospital, but I think delivery is still hours away," the nurse told Kim as she finished checking her over after being admitted.

"Will you call Dr. Schultz?"

"No, I think we can wait until morning. You'll be happier if she's had a good night's sleep."

Kim knew she wouldn't be getting any more rest that night. Shego had curled up on a couch in Kim's hospital room and gone back to sleep. Kim wanted someone to talk with, but decided Shego needed the nap. At least the room came with cable. The only programs on at three in the morning were mind numbing -- but the mind was not the part which needed anesthesia.

--

"How are you doing, Kimmie?"

"I'm doing okay, Mom," Kim replied as her mother stroked her hair.

"Do you want me to stay with you during delivery?"

"Mom, I love you very, very much. But I'd feel kind of awkweird if you were here."

"That's okay, I wouldn't have wanted my mother in with me. I had a terrible time getting your father to agree to be in the delivery room. He insisted the duty of the father-to-be was to pace nervously in the waiting room while endlessly smoking cigarettes."

"Did he smoke?"

"Sometimes just that pipe he still has. But he would have taken up cigarettes if I'd let him stay out of the delivery room. Did Shego give you any argument?"

Kim smiled, "That may be the only thing we didn't fight over. Monique and Bonnie will be here after their classes."

The conversation woke up Shego, who had been napping on and off through the day. She came over and held Kim's hand. "Are you okay, Princess?"

Kim started to say, "I'm fine," when another contraction hit and she grimaced in pain instead. "I think I'm going to give up on a drug-free birth and have the epidural."

"It's a good choice Kim," her mother told her. "I never told you this in high school. But now that you are going to be a mother you need to know the truth. Drugs are your friends."

--

"Shego, could you get me some ice chips to suck on, please?" As soon as Shego left the room Kim turned to her mother, "While we're here in the hospital you have to get Shego in to see a doctor. She's been having terrible headaches."

"It certainly sounds like she needs to see one."

"That's what I tell her. But she doesn't listen to me and she hates to see doctors. She usually listens to you."

"You two don't have anything in common, do you?"

"Mom, please."

--

Almost fourteen hours of labor. Not a record by any means, but certainly long enough for Kim to understand why it was called labor.

Shego had been dreading this day since Kim had first told her she was pregnant. She was frightened for Kim: childbirth was hard on a woman. She was frightened for the girls and how society would treat them. She was frightened about the responsibility it placed on her. And she was frightened of the fact she had always thought babies looked ugly. Their puffy little faces always reminded her of photos of Winston Churchill -- without the cigar, of course. She heard a cry and Dr. Shultz handed the first baby to a nurse to clean and weigh. Kim had told them to let Shego hold the baby as soon as she was born and Shego waited nervously for the face of an English Prime Minister to stare up at her.

"Sharon, here is the baby."

Shego looked down at the tiny little face with red hair and green eyes. She had never before in her life seen a beautiful baby, but this was the first. She sat down on the couch in the room, the baby on her legs, and began to cry at the sheer wonder of it all. After a few minutes of staring at the perfect tiny person Kim called her back to reality.

"Shego, come here. I need you."

Shego handed the baby to a nurse and took Bonnie's place on Kim's left hand. Bonnie went out to inform the Drs. Possible of the arrival of their first grandchild. Kim looked up and noticed Shego had been crying, "Is everything all right?"

"God, Kim," Shego sniffed, "that is the most beautiful baby I've ever seen."

"I done good?"

"You done great. She's going to be a tough act to follow."

A half-hour later the second act followed and Shego held the second girl as Dr. Shultz and the nurses finished with Kim. Shego laughed as she looked down into a second pair of green eyes.

"Is she that funny looking?" Kim asked.

"She's a real Jacob to sister Esau," Shego said and Kim joined her in laughing.

"Have you two lost your minds?" Monique demanded.

"No, Jacob and Esau, in the Bible --"

"I know the story."

"So, who was born first and what was his hair color?"

"Esau was born first, he was all red and hairy. He later sold his birthright to his brother --"

"We just need the first-born and red, Monique. Look at girl number one."

"Oh, she's got hair just like Kim's."

Shego came over with her second-born in her arms. "Now, look at little Jacob. Whose hair does she have?"

"That's weird, her hair almost looks like it's dark green. Your hair is black."

"I dye it. If I didn't you'd see green roots."

"Really?"

"Really," Kim assured her. "She only dyes the hair on top."

Monique joined them in laughing, "At least you'll never have any trouble telling the two of them apart." Then she left to find Bonnie, Ron, and the Possibles.

Anne was on her cell phone when Monique found them. "Here comes Kim's friend Monique. She looks happy; I think everyone is fine. … Okay, Susan, I'll call you back as soon as I've seen our grandchildren."

Anne was only allowed to stay with her daughter for a few minutes before the nurse shooed her out of the room. "Miss Possible needs to rest." The twins had already been taken to the newborns' room where everyone would get a chance to see them through the glass. The nurse tried to make Shego leave as well, but Kim insisted the pale woman be allowed to stay.

There was really nothing which could be said at the moment. Shego held Kim's hand and stroked her hair as she waited for the redhead to drift off. After Kim fell asleep Shego sat in the corner and pulled a textbook from her bag.

--

Soon after Kim awoke from her nap a nervous looking nurse came into the room. "Miss Possible? We, uh, have a concern about the babies."

"What's wrong?"

"Well, there may be just a little jaundice. Babies are often a little reddish when they are born. As your girls lost that flush they went over to a very pale skin tone, but it almost appears there is a little green tone in it. We may need to keep you for an extra day or two just to make certain everyone is fine."

Kim smiled. Her health insurance only wanted mothers and newborns in the hospital for twenty-four hours unless the hospital recommended a longer stay.

The nurse, who had just come on duty, turned to leave and noticed Shego for the first time. She stared at the pale-skinned woman with a more noticeable hint of green to her skin. She must be the sister of the father.

Anne Possible, not wanting her grandbabies to suffer too many blood tests, sent a note to the lab with the samples -- suggesting the twins' blood work be compared with that of a young woman who had been given a blood test about a year and a half earlier.

--

Various friends stopped by to see the babies and wish Kim well. Rabbi Horowitz and Dr. Delahooke surprised the couple when they walked in together. "We know each other from the Middleton Interfaith Council, " Dr. Delahooke explained. "We ran into each other at the newborn viewing area. I'm quite certain this is our first pastoral call together. The girls are beautiful."

Rabbi Ruth stayed a few minutes after Dr. Delahooke left. "He doesn't know you two are a couple, does he?" Kim shook her head 'no'. "Well, I didn't mention it. However, I think he was curious why I made a pastoral call."

Betty Director agreed they were beautiful babies, but stared very hard at the couple when she visited them in Kim's room. "I'm going to pull your medical file when I get back to my office and look it over very closely," she warned Shego. "I don't see how you could have hidden a thing like that from your physician…" She turned to Kim, "Or maybe this was your doing. I may really have to believe your 'Anything's possible,' motto."

--

The nurse was fairly new to Middleton, having moved there in the last six months. Perhaps Human Resources could have done a more thorough psychological profile on her before assigning her to obstetrics and pediatrics. Today she was assigned to fill in the birth certificate forms for the state. Hospital policy required the form be filled out without the father present, but the only men to visit the red-haired mother of the twins had been brief visitors. The pale, dark haired woman who almost lived in the room was still there. Another nurse had thought the woman might be related to the father, but as far as Cheryl was concerned she was following hospital policy. She already resented how long she had been forced to wait in hopes of seeing the young mother alone.

"Now, Mrs. Possible. I'm here to get the information for the birth certificates."

"It's Miss Possible. You can call me Kim."

Cheryl tightened her lips in disapproval, _"Oh yeah, just what we need. More unwed mothers."_  
"All right, MISS Possible, can you please spell your full name for me?"

Cheryl's resentment built as the young woman cheerfully gave her various pieces of required information. _"She should at least show some sort of regret for what she's done. She acts like she's happy about this. She's probably one of those little freeloaders who hopes to live off welfare."_  
"Now then, father's name?"

"You need to leave that blank," Kim said softly.

Cheryl put the pen down in disgust. "Look," she snapped. "If you're going to jump in bed with any guy you meet it's your concern. But use contraception. There are enough little bastards from tramps who can't even remember the father running around already. Why don't--"

Cheryl was a large woman, capable of moving a heavy patient from hospital bed to gurney all by herself. But the slim, pale woman had her almost a foot off the floor and pressed against the wall. Trembling with rage Shego stared at the nurse's name badge, "Don't you EVER speak to Kim like that, Cheryl, or I will kill you."

"Shego, don't hurt her," Kim pleaded.

Shego dropped the heavy-set woman and stepped back. Cheryl staggered and went down on her knees before getting up, "You threatened me!"

"Damn straight. That was a warning. And you only got that because Kim was here. If you're still here in ten seconds I will hurt you."

Cheryl backed out of the room, not wanting to turn her back on the mad woman. Kim and Shego took out their cell phones.

--

Cheryl sat in the office of the head nurse of Obstetrics and Pediatrics, filling out a complaint form while a security officer stood to the side, waiting to go back down with her to patient's room. The phone began ringing before the form could be completed.

"Pediatrics … Oh, hi! … SHE WHAT! … Yes, I will check on that and get back with you."

The head of the unit stared at Cheryl. "Why didn't you tell me the name of the mother? That was the head of Neurosurgery, complaining that a nurse harassed her daughter, Kim." Cheryl slowed the writing on the complaint as the phone rang again.

"Pediatrics … Yes, Sir! … I've just heard about it, and promise to have a thorough investigation. … No, Sir. I had not forgotten that story."

"That was the head of the Board of Directors. Kim rescued his son when he got lost during a Boy Scout campout--" The phone rang again before she could finish the story.

"Pediatrics … Hi, Steve, how are things in hematology? … Yeah, she's here with me now … Yes, I remember that winter."

"Someone reminding me how Kim used a dog team to bring in blood from the hospital in Upperton when a blizzard was keeping everything off the roads. She saved six lives that day. He's heard that someone was giving her--" The phone rang again.

Two phone calls later the security guard drifted off. After another phone call Cheryl threw away the incomplete form.

"Go home," the head nurse in pediatrics told her, "I'll call oncology and see if they need you -- it's as far away from pediatrics and neurosurgery as I can put you. Call them tomorrow and see if you still have a job. I think I'm going to spend the rest of my day answering the phone. If you haven't guessed, we all are very fond of Kim."

--

Down in Kim's room the two had calmed down slightly. "That's what I was afraid of," Shego told her partner. "If we tell people the truth the girls will be held up as freaks and get all sorts of media attention. And this way hurts you."

"I really don't need 'I told you so' right this minute."

"I'm sorry, Kim. We're going to get a lot of it."

"What I need is you saying we'll get through it together."

"We will," Shego promised. "All four of us will."

--

The Head of Neurosurgery at the Middleton Hospital sat in her daughter's room with a clipboard on her lap. "Why don't you go home, Shego?"

Shego looked at Kim, "It's okay." Kim assured her. "You've missed two days of classes. You shouldn't miss any more. I'm going to be fine now." It no longer bothered Anne when Shego leaned over the side of the hospital bed and kissed Kim. The two had gone through a lot together.

Shego gathered her belongings into a small overnight bag while Anne began filling out the birth certificate information for the state bureau of vital statistics. "They should be able to leave tomorrow," Anne assured Shego as she kissed Kim again, "the day after at the latest."

Unsurprisingly, Shego was treated with a great deal of deference at the pediatrics nurses' station. A nurse even brought the babies out, entirely against hospital regulations, so that Shego could kiss them before leaving. "Goodbye Jane. Goodbye Lizzy. I'll see you tomorrow."

"So, Jane and Lizzy will be the names?"

"Jane and Elizabeth. I think those are the names we agreed on."

"Oh, good. You've heard you and Kim calling them Jacob and Esau so often some people were starting to believe those were the names. So Jacob is Jane and Esau will be Elizabeth?"

On the way home Shego called the house and Ron answered. "I need a favor. Get on your coat and get in the car when I pull in. I've got an errand to run and I need you drive Kim's car back."

Meanwhile, back in the hospital Anne had filled in every required line except for one on each form. "Okay, Kim. The discussion and teasing has to be over now. What are the names I put on the birth certificates?"

--

"Mom, I really don't like sitting in a wheelchair to leave the hospital."

"I know, Kim. But remember, this is a hospital, and there are regulations. Now, you two hold on tight to my babies," she warned her husband and daughter.

They looked out the door for Shego, but didn't see a car they recognized. However Shego blew the horn and waved when she saw them. Each baby got another blanket and her first experience with cold air as the Possibles ran out to Shego.

"What is this?" Kim asked as they got out to the bright red station wagon and strapped the babies into their car seats.

"It's a nineteen-seventy-three Volvo one-forty-five. Only four thousand original miles on it. It went into storage thirty years ago and was forgotten. Ebay is great. I had to rebuild the engine and do a lot of other work -- but we need a safe car to drive the babies around in -- and this is it. This baby exceeded every safety standard in the world, before they had safety standards. Oh, early happy birthday."

The Drs. Possible saw the girls off, then found their own car and followed to Possible Manor.

--

"YOU NAMED THEM WHAT!" Shego yelled at Kim as they rode home from the hospital.

"Quiet, you'll wake the babies."

And, right on cue, the sound of crying started in the back seat. And the discussion, if it could be called that, had to stop.

--

Ron and Monique had tied pink balloons and ribbons to the front door, with two pictures of storks carrying bundles and a large banner that read, "They are girls!"

Kim and Shego carried the babies into a crowd. Shego's parents were there, with Ed and Will flanking Bonnie and Hego looming in the background. A cheer went up from the small crowd in the entryway at the sight of the babies and their mothers. Shego handed off her little burden to her own mother and went back to the Volvo for Kim's bags. The Drs. Possible pulled in as she took the bags out of the car, and James helped her carry everything inside.

Shego felt the twins should be taken up to the nursery, but they had been commandeered by their grandmothers and there appeared to be very little chance of taking them away at the moment.

"You two had better be nice to us," Anne warned Kim and Shego. "We just became the founts of everything you will want to know about raising babies.

It seemed like everyone was crowded around the babies, wanting a better look at them and talking about their coloring or the standard how beautiful they were -- although in this case it might be honest -- but Kim noticed Shego slipping away to the kitchen and followed her a minute later.

"I came in here to be alone," Shego remarked coldly.

"And I came in to talk with you."

"How could you do that to me, Kim?"

"I didn't think I was doing anything to you. We had never settled on names."

"But we talked about Jane and Elizabeth."

"Yes, we did, and a hundred and fifty other names too."

"You knew those were my favorite."

"So, I was just supposed to roll over and let you pick the names?"

Shego opened her mouth to speak, then closed it and pursed her lips, Kim had a point. "We could have talked about it more."

"We talked about it for a month and a half and never got anywhere."

"But those are made up names, other kids will make fun of them."

"I thought we agreed that kids could make fun of any name we used. These sound close to normal given some of the names being used today. Kasy, from Kim and Shego. Sheki, from Shego and Kim -- hey, it even sounds sort of Jewish."

"Yeah, but Kasy gets Ann -- which works for a middle name. Go is a silly name."

"Look, Georgiana, she'll get less grief about it than you got for yours. And you should have seen your Dad when I announced the names. He was beaming like a hundred-watt bulb to have his initials used."

"Really?"

"Really. And if you care, Hego and the Wegos loved it too. Now let's get back to the living room. There hasn't been time to miss us yet. If we stay in here longer and no one notices we were gone I'll feel depressed."

--

About half and hour after the babies arrived home Shego's dad opened a small canvas bag he had brought with him and took out a package of small, plastic shot glasses and a bottle of something, which he left inside a brown paper bag. "In the words of Dickens, 'Bring in the bottled lightning, a clean tumbler, and a corkscrew.' Who would like to drink a toast to the new babies?"

The Drs. Possible, Shego, Ron's dad, and Hego all asked for a glass. Perhaps Ron's mother took her cue from the fact Shego's mom wasn't going to drink what her husband provided and she passed. The Wegos volunteered to drink to the babies' health, but their mom declared them ineligible.

The fact her dad left the bottle in the paper bag made Shego nervous, and she sniffed the cup when he handed it to her. "It smells a little like rum."

"Yes, it does," he agreed with a twinkle in his eye. "But it's not." He raised his glass and declared, "To Kim, and the two most glorious grandchildren this world has ever seen." He knocked his back, and the others attempted the feat.

The Drs. Possible were left choking and gasping for air. "No one light a match!" were the only words Anne was able to croak.

Ron's dad gave a nod and a smile, "Now that's good stuff."

Hego looked vaguely shocked. Shego's eyes and mouth were round and wide open as she stared at her dad, "What was that?"

"It's a fine Irish whiskey, Knockeen Hills Poteen, black label -- one hundred and eighty proof. Now, who'll join me in a toast to the babies' other mom?" He took the bottle out of the paper sack.

Anne Possible and Hego both passed on the second round, "Nothing personal, Sis."

James Possible appeared to only be doing it to be a good sport.

"Uh, Dad? Just as a matter of question, why are you putting less in your glass than in the glasses you are pouring for the rest of us?"

"Oh, I'm just being a good host. I want to make sure there's plenty to go around."

"There's plenty, Dad. I think you're just trying to create the impression you're a great drinker by going easy on yourself."

George filled his cup to the rim to refute the charge. James offered the second toast, "To Shego, may she always be there for her girls." It was an odd sort of toast, but entirely understandable.

Only Shego joined with her father and Ron's dad on the toast to the Wegos for getting the house ready. She dropped out and left the two men to toast the house itself, and Shego's other brothers, and Ron, and Kim's parents, and Shego's parents…

Bonnie and Monique led Susan up to the nursery with the babies as the living room took on the definite air of a challenge arena. Both men were still on their feet, but Hego had moved behind his father and Ron behind his, in case either man decided to leave the world of the vertical for the horizontal.

"Are you ready to quit?" George asked.

"Nope, I can go as long as you can."

"Well, as a medical doctor I'm declaring the contest over. It is a draw. You both lose," Anne Possible announced.

The two men sat on the couch as the room spun around them. "How did you manage that? You don't look Irish."

"I'm not. Have you heard of schlivovitz? It's the Jewish version of your bottled lightning."

--

Kim and Shego joined the nursery crowd as Ron began a display of kitchen magic for those who remained downstairs.

"Did you remember me asking if I could stay with you for a week after the babies were born?" Susan asked.

"I got a bed in the spare bedroom, Mom, you're welcome to stay. Did you bring clothes?"

"Of course, if you didn't have space for me I was going to stay with Anne and James. But I like this better."

"What about dad and the boys?"

"Hego flew us down in the Go Jet. He'll take your dad and brothers home tonight. I'll take a commercial flight later.

--

Realizing it would be impossible, and perhaps wrong, to hide it from her mother, Shego explained to Susan about her growing interest in the faith of her great-grandparents that evening in their bedroom as Kim nursed the babies.

"So you're becoming Jewish?"

"I think I already am. Technically I think you are too."

"Thank God, I thought you were really becoming vegetarian."

Shego stared at her mom in amazement, and the older woman burst into laughter and hugged her daughter, "I'm sorry Sharon. But after hearing about you and Kim and becoming a grandmother I just can't get too concerned about Judaism. Do you have any more dark secrets left or are they all out in the open?"

--

Susan O'Ceallaigh made Ron a bit nervous because of the amount of time she wanted to spend in the kitchen. He had come to regard it as his fiefdom and only grudgingly accepted the interloper with the understanding she would be gone in a week. Bonnie would have been delighted if Susan had stayed a month. With the doting grandmother around Bonnie's first week of nanny duties had consisted of one diaper change.

--

Since Ron had avoided morning classes he was drafted into taking Susan to the Middleton airport. Everyone was up for breakfast and received a smothering hug before she left.

"Who was the white lady, I saw? Does she live here?"

"What white lady, Mom?"

"That's what I'm asking you. I saw her three or four times, usually in the hall upstairs and once down in the kitchen. She never said anything. She was always dressed all in white. Do you have someone who comes in and cleans?"

The residents of Possible Manor looked at each other. "Some people think the place is haunted."

"Oh, no. She seemed like a very nice young woman," Susan said, "she just didn't say anything."

Monique assumed Susan had experienced a vivid dream, Bonnie wondered if Susan needed to be on medication, and Ron, Kim, and Shego had seen enough odd things to wonder if a ghost or an enemy with access to the house was the greater possibility -- and the greater threat.

--

**Translation:** Dies natalis - Birthday

Author's Note: And I imagine that anyone reading this recognizes Kasy Ann and Sheki Go from A Small Possibility by NoDrogs -- here with the generous permission of their creator. I found their origin the gynecological equivalent of the cartoon character walking across a canyon -- until he looks down and falls only when he realizes he's walking on air. (Drakken could make a billion dollars a year with a chain of fertility clinics if he could bring about a pregnancy via a shot in the arm.) I am also troubled, ethically, with involuntary pregnancy being forced on a character. But I like the little girls and decided I wanted them around in my universe if I continue writing these stories.

Additional note: Several of the snippets of dialog and details come from the birth of my first daughter -- in a hospital that required the father not be in the room when the birth certificate was filled out.


	6. Chapter 6 Cogitationis poenam nemo patit

Boilerplate Disclaimer: The various characters from the Kim Possible series are all owned by Disney. Any and all registered trade names property of their respective owners. Cheap shots at celebrities constitute fair usage.

Kasy Ann and Sheki Go Possible were created by NoDrogs in the story A Small Possibility.

**Chapter 6 - Cogitationis poenam nemo patitur**

Kim heard the front door open as she fed the babies. After the babies were changed and put back into their crib she came downstairs and found Shego in the living room, staring off into space. "You really look unhappy. What did the doctor say about your headaches?"

"Bad news."

"How bad?"

"Bad enough."

"Migraines? Brain tumor?"

"Glasses. I need reading glasses. I thought my eyes were perfect after the comet, but I've been doing so much reading for my classes I'm suffering from eye strain."

"Glasses?" Kim laughed, "You got this upset about glasses?"

"Must have been nice to have a happy childhood," Shego said glumly. "For me they're kind of a symbol for what a lousy time I had. Kids made fun of me in grade school when I really needed them. After the comet Hego said I should keep wearing them to protect my identity -- like slipping on a pair of glasses can keep someone from knowing who I am."

"Oooh, poor little Shego," Kim cooed and pulled her lover over so her head was resting on Kim's breast. Afraid the popular kids will make fun of her." Kim giggled and stroked her dark hair.

"Damn it, Kim. It's not funny. Stop patronizing me."

"I'm sorry Shego, I know I shouldn't be laughing. But I was afraid there was something seriously wrong with you. I'm just too happy to mourn with you right now. I'll try to sympathize when you really get them, okay?"

"I already have them. They're just reading glasses. I don't need a prescription yet."

"Can I see them?"

"They're in the case on the coffee table."

"No, can I see you in them?"

"You'll laugh"

"I promise not to laugh," Kim giggled.

"I can live with the headaches."

"Oh, pwease wet me see you in your gwasses," Kim pouted.

"I hate the baby talk!"

"Why do you think I'm doing it?"

"Fine. I'll put them on."

The glasses had large round frames and gave Shego a slightly owlish look. Kim clenched her jaws tightly and fought the urge to laugh. She finally composed herself, "You look very… studious in them."

"I look like a nerd."

"You are a nerd, you're a Lit major." Kim took Shego back her arms. "But you're a cute nerd. Maybe the glasses will keep the other girls from flirting with you and I won't have to be jealous all the time."

"You really think I look cute in them?"

"Really."

Ron got home a few minutes later. He glanced in the living room on his way to the kitchen. "Geez, can you two go to your room? There are heteros present."

"It bothers you that much, Ron?"

"No, I'm willing to make a bowl of popcorn and watch. But Bonnie will freak if she comes down."

"There's nothing to watch, Ron," Kim assured him. "It's just a little snuggling. I'm not going to be in shape to seriously embarrass Bonnie for weeks."

---

"I'm just going to have a bowl of cereal this morning, Stoppable."

"You don't want my great mushroom Swiss omelet?

"I don't want anything heavy in my stomach while I'm taking the LSAT today."

"Big ol' butterflies in the tummy?"

"Just little butterflies. But I'm afraid if the room is warm and I'm stuffed I may fall asleep during the exam."

---

Kim appeared to be even more nervous than Shego about the LSAT and spent the afternoon pacing around the house. Between worry and the twins she was getting none of her own work done and Bonnie and Monique both scolded her about falling behind in her classes again.

"I promise to study all day tomorrow -- you can watch the girls. I just can't concentrate right now."

---

"How did it go?" Kim asked as soon as Shego got in the door.

"I won't know for weeks."

"Well, how do you feel like it went?"

"I feel good about it, but don't know if I'm being a realist or an optimist about that. I figure in a few weeks their circumlocution office will write me a long letter telling me nothing definite. Then I apply for Middleton Law."

---

"You only won tonight because I'm tired from taking the LSAT."

"We'll see what excuse you come up with next week."

"You are going down, Mr. Du."

---

The O'Ceallaighs had brought Kim and Shego a cappuccino machine of their own, but Bonnie had been left to mind the babies as Shego took Kim, Monique, and Ron to Columbia to Kenya. They sat at their old booth in the back and Shego waited for Kim to say something other than the words out of the redhead's mouth, "Well, we better head back."

"Has she always been helpless in the romance department?" Shego asked Ron and Monique.

"Pretty much," Ron confirmed.

"Yeah," Monique seconded.

"What are you talking about?" Kim complained.

"What is today?"

"Uh, is Sunday not the right answer?"

"Try second anniversary of our first coffee date here at C2K."

Kim blushed slightly as Shego continued. "I mean, I was going to propose in front of witnesses and everything, but if it made so little impression on you -- OWW! What did you do that for?"

"Just leaving a little impression on you. And the answer is yes. I've already got next Valentine's Day down on my calendar. Next time ask before setting the date… Wait, there shouldn't be a next time."

---

Wade's sixteenth birthday party at Possible Manor was an unusual affair. Wade knew so few people in the flesh that Ron didn't need to bake a large cake. On the other hand, the young genius knew so many people through the web that Shego had set up a webcam and ran a computer monitor through the television so that friends he had made through his work with Team Possible connected to wish him well from around the world.

Two presents, both from Dr. Drakken, were particularly moving to Wade. The first small package contained a personalized key to the hovercraft. When Wade opened the second, somewhat larger, package he let out a whoop and called, "Cool!"

"What is it, Wade."

"It's letterhead stationary."

"You get that excited about stationary?"

"Look what it says," and Wade held it up so that everyone could read it. Across the top of the page it read 'Lipsky and Load, Inc.'

Shego softly chuckled.

"What's so funny?" Kim whispered.

"Dr D. is always playing the angles. He couldn't have stopped Wade from flying a hovercraft -- so he makes it look like his idea. And he wants to get the company's name branded into everyone's brain as Lipsky and Load because if he waited until Wade was eighteen the place would probably be called Load and Lipsky."

---

**Translation:** Cogitationis poenam nemo patitur - Nobody should be punished for his thoughts


	7. Chapter 7 Annus mirabilis

Boilerplate Disclaimer: The various characters from the Kim Possible series are all owned by Disney. Any and all registered trade names property of their respective owners. Cheap shots at celebrities constitute fair usage.

Remember: for its size the male ego is amazingly fragile. I would like to see more comments.

Kasy Ann and Sheki Go Possible were created by NoDrogs in the story A Small Possibility.

**Chapter 7 - Annus mirabilis**

Shego stared up at the bedroom ceiling. "I wish we could go to Mexico for Spring Break, just the two of us. I think we need to lie out in the sun during the day and drink daiquiris and dance at night."

"You know we can't leave the girls."

"Oh, yeah. Whose idea were they again?"

"Fine, you can go to Mexico by yourself. Have a good time. Get a lot of sleep and come back here in a better mood. I'm sick of listening to you complain. I give you permission to enjoy yourself."

"I don't need your permission to enjoy myself."

"Fine, you don't have my permission then."

Shego stared at the ceiling for another minute before speaking. "Kim? … I'm sorry. It just wouldn't be any fun without you. And you know I love the girls. I just want to have some more time for the two of us. I guess it's selfish of me--"

"No, it's not selfish. And once the girls aren't nursing we'll go off to Mexico or wherever. I know your Mom would love to have them for a week, maybe my folks too. We do need time together. Can you start working with me? I probably can't do anything right now but try and get in walks with you -- but it's a start and we'll have a chance to just be with each other."

"That sounds great."

But her voice lacked the enthusiasm for Kim to believe it really sounded great. Shego seemed restless. For years her world had been so much larger than a partner, kids, and classes that Kim worried that Shego was bored with her. She was afraid Shego would do something stupid or dangerous just for excitement and land back in prison.

---

Whoever picked up the mail first left it on a small table in the entryway. As the residents of Casa Possible got home they searched through the pile for letters addressed to them, throwing junk mail into the circular file dedicated to the task. Kim worried her fears were justified when Shego came into the kitchen smiling after classes. There had been a letter addressed to Shego with the return address of Hench Co. in the mail. Kim had fought the temptation to steam it open or to 'lose' it in the trash. She guessed this was why Shego was happy.

"Anything interesting in the mail today?"

Shego guessed Kim had seen the letter. "My third offer for a MasterCard this week - not bad when you consider I'm a convicted felon in Canada and out on bail here."

"Anything else?"

"A reminder to see my advisor."

"Anything else?"

"No, nothing really interesting. Oh, almost forgot, an offer for a temp job I'll probably take. It only requires one night's work and comes with a meal."

"Is it illegal?"

"No, almost completely legit."

"I don't like the sound of 'almost completely.'"

"And I don't like how deeply in debt we are to your parents. And you seem to think my money has some taint on it. Jack Hench wants me to escort him to the Villain of the Year award ceremony. I'm going to take it."

"An escort for Jack Hench? Is that another way of saying call girl? You're out on bail. What if you're seen with a group of criminals?"

"It's a way of saying bodyguard, Kim. And it's more honest than working for the Agency. The control freak in you is starting to get on my nerves. We've taken way too much money from your parents. I'm having the bathrooms redone the way I want, and you'll know this is honest money."

The conversation went steadily downhill from there.

---

"Let her go, Kim. Don't try to fight it." Monique advised. "She's changed her life around a lot because of you and you have to trust her."

"I love her, I'm worried she's going to get hurt."

"If you suffocate her she's going to feel like she's back in prison. She's here with you because she wants to be here with you. I'll say it again, you've got to trust her."

But Shego had made too many mistakes in her life for Kim to trust the pale woman's judgment. She wanted more information on this awards banquet, and went to her source for every kind of information.

Eventually Wade answered the Kimmunicator. "What's up Kim?"

"I need your help. Can you find any information on the Villain of the Year Awards?"

"The one that will be held at the downtown Hilton in St. Louis a week from yesterday and scheduled to begin at seven-thirty and last until one or the cops arrive -- whichever comes first? I think the price is five hundred dollars a plate for dues-paying members of the Villain's Guild, a thousand dollars a plate at the door if you haven't paid your dues, and two hundred dollars a plate for body guards -- but you're only allowed one. Kim, your mouth is hanging open."

"How did you know that off the top of your head. Did you get an invitation?"

"Maybe I just made it up."

"Wade, have you joined the Villains' Guild?"

He smiled, "Nah, but Drakken pays his dues and still gets a lot of mail here. He has me open it and forward what I think he wants to see. Hey, weren't you on their mailing list?"

"Well, Ron got me on the mailing list, he thought it was a drawing for a tank. I usually just throw the newsletter away. That's an awfully expensive dinner."

"I think the hotel wants a big deposit in case of damage."

"Do you know if Drakken is planning to go?"

"I think so. I was checking out the website and saw he was one of the pre-registered guests."

"They have a website?"

"Doesn't everybody? There's a lot of discussion about you in the forums. Why do you need to know?"

"Jack Hench wants Shego to be his bodyguard that night."

"Cool! I want to ask her about the dinner."

"Wade! I don't want her to go."

"What's the problem?"

"He wants her as an escort. That's so… so…"

"You don't know much about the Villain of the Year Banquet, do you?"

"You do?"

"Hey, I read the forums. It usually ends with a big fight. They've banned bringing in weapons and only allow one bodyguard per member to try and tone down the level of violence."

"That's supposed to make me feel better?"

"Think about it Kim, Shego can't check her plasma powers at the door. Hench is probably paying her a big premium 'cause she carries her natural weapon."

"Whose side are you on?"

"I think you need to trust her. Do you want me to send you the URL so you can see what its all about?"

"Please and thank you."

"Oh, you'll need a password. I'll send you Drakken's along with the web address." Wade quickly typed the information out for Kim.

"You know, Wade, sometimes I'm a little suspicious of you. You did delete that webcam video you accidentally took of Bonnie dressing last year, didn't you?"

"Gosh, Kim. Look at the time. My mother needs me home. See ya!" and the screen went blank.

---

Kim drummed her fingers on the table as she weighed her options, none of them appealing. She even considered calling Dr. Drakken and asking him to spy on Shego for her. Kim gave up the idea more for practical than ethical reasons. The two had such a long history of covering for each other that she wouldn't be able to trust the report.

Kim explored the Villains' Guild website with the password Wade sent her, and her suspicions were raised even higher when she noticed something odd on the confirmed reservations. Jack Hench was confirmed as planning to attend -- with bodyguard. But Shego was also listed as a dues paying member with a confirmed reservation. Shego could not both be there as Hench's bodyguard and in attendance. Had Shego already registered for the dinner without telling Kim? There had been no late nights without explanation since Shego had finished work on the Volvo and the babies were born -- but Kim worried that Shego had planned to go without telling her even before Jack Hench provided her with an excuse.

---

Kim raised another howl when a dress arrived for Shego from Hench Co. If it is true that expense and material are in inverse proportion to each other it must have been a very expensive garment.

"You can't wear that. You look like a hooker."

Ron put a hand over Kim's mouth and dragged her from the kitchen. Monique went with them to give her a lecture.

Shego turned to Bonnie, "It is skimpier than I like. Don't tell Kim I said that. And I don't want anyone seeing 'Shego' dressed like a tramp. I've got some skin dye I used before; it makes me look like I've got a deep tan. Can you give me some makeup help to make me look less like me?"

---

"Kim, the whole idea is totally whack," Bonnie complained.

"Look, I'm really worried about Shego. I'm scared she is seriously interested in going back to crime. Please, can the two of you just do it for me?"

"I don't know KP. Won't Shego get a little suspicious when she sees Shego walk in?"

"Okay, I'll admit that's a problem. But I don't have twelve hundred dollars right this minute to pay for two dinners. Shego was already confirmed so I just need to pay two hundred dollars for her bodyguard. Bonnie said she's going to help her disguise herself so people can't tell she's Shego. I've seen the floor plan for the ballroom. There's lots of room. Zorpox can scout the room first for the real Shego, then the two of you can find a spot behind a potted fern or something where she can't see you."

"Wait a minute," Ron complained. "A bodyguard is lower than a sidekick."

Bonnie grinned, "His job is to watch my body? I'm in."

"Why don't you just trust her, Kim?" Ron asked.

---

Ron went to the Lair for some basics in hovercraft operation.

"Remember, start the gyrostabilizer before you turn on the anti-gravs," Wade warned him.

"Why didn't Drakken make them so they started together."

"I don't know. Maybe he thought it would keep a thief from hot-wiring it. Shego says he forgot about half the time himself and ended up dumping himself out. Oh, here's a neat feature I added -- a retractable roof. You'll need it for the trip to St. Louis. And bring it back with a full tank or I won't let you borrow it again."

"Yes, Dad."

---

_"I'm only doing it for the money,"_ Shego repeated herself as she waited for her ride to the airport. _"And he'd better give me a bonus for wearing this outfit."_

"I'm looking for a woman named Shego," the driver announced.

"That's me. Only you can call me Señora Sombra."

"Uh, they told me what this Shego woman looked like, and you don't match."

"Fine, I'll knock you out, steal the keys and drive myself to the airport. When you wake up you can claim your limo at the no parking zone in front of the airport where I left it."

"Maybe it is you. They described your temper too."

As soon as the limo pulled away from the house Kim was on her cell phone, "Bring the hovercraft, Ron. Time for Zorpox and Shego to leave for the banquet."

---

Ron let out a whistle as Bonnie came down the stairs. Shego's green and black costume showed off every curve.

"You're looking good, Shego," Ron told her.

"I'll say," Kim added. "I want to jump on top of you and smother you with kisses."

Bonnie moved behind Ron, "You're my bodyguard. Protect me."

Kim put on a jacket and accompanied the two out to the hovercraft. "Just make sure she's okay," Kim pleaded. "I don't trust Jack Hench. But see if there is anyone else she talks with a lot. I don't want her going back into stealing."

---

Jack Hench glared at the dark woman in front of him. "I offered the job to Shego."

"Well no one with that name goes out dressed like this. You just got another fifteen percent added to the bill for this sexist outfit. I'm going by Medianoche Sombra tonight."

"But you're really you?"

"You're getting what you pay for. And nothing more, remember that if you want to end the evening with both your hands."

---

Jack Hench's arm candy drew the appreciative attention of almost every man in the room when they walked in. Or was she arm candy? Every other power broker in the villain world was there with serious muscle by his or her side. A rumor started at one table that the woman with Hench was a Mexican assassin, and the story spread quickly through the room.

Shego scanned the room for potential problems before sitting down. She started when she noticed Dr. Drakken sitting half the room over -- seated beside Shego. Shego peered closely at the fake. Drakken must have hired an actress, but the fake looked remarkably young -- perhaps about Kim's age when she first met Drakken. _"Drakken must have bought the cheap body make-up, her skin looks a little plastic,"_ Shego thought. The skin color was off too, a little too green, but anyone who hadn't looked her green self face-to-face in the mirror for more than fifteen years wouldn't know that.

---

Hank Perkins stared at the couple in front of him, then down at the list of confirmations. "There seems to be a problem here. I remember a woman named Shego coming in about half an hour ago."

Ron couldn't believe that Shego could have gotten here that quickly before them. And hadn't Kim said Shego was attending as Hench's bodyguard? At the moment, however, his concern was keeping his promise to Kim. Fortunately he had bulked up enough for Zorpox to be intimidating. "It looks like you made a little mistake. The boss lady is here now. Have you heard about how she plays with fire?"

"Yes, sir," Hank replied in a small voice.

"Well, unless you want to see it, I suggest you let us in now. And be more careful about checking off the names of paying guests." In his moment of triumph with Hank Perkins Zorpox forgot to check the ballroom out to locate Shego before going in.

---

Shego Sombra and Hench made small talk and watched the new arrivals as they came in. "Look who's wearing falsies," Shego snorted.

"Huh, where?"

"Leg falsies. Professor Dementor is trying to look seven feet tall. He can't even walk right in those things."

A minute later there was an edge of anger in Hench's voice, "If you're the real Shego, who is that?"

"It's a fake Shego sitting with Dr. Drakken," she hissed.

"No, I mean the Shego coming in the door with the funny-looking guy. Are you the real Shego or am I being ripped off?"

Shego stuck up her middle finger and gave him a burst of plasma flame that shot up two feet. "Why don't you go ask either of those fakes if they can do this?" Shego stared at the new arrivals. Could that be… Kim was going to be in a lot of trouble when she got home.

---

Zorpox, meanwhile, had realized he made a mistake and quickly found seats for Bonnie Shego and himself at a large table with lots of space. He hoped it was far enough to the side that Shego wouldn't notice them -- if she hadn't already. They were on the opposite side of the ballroom from Dr. Drakken and the other Shego and didn't see them.

Two more latecomers noticed Bonnie Shego, and headed for their table. "Here comes trouble," Ron warned her. "Señor Senior, Senior once hired Shego to tutor his son, Señor Senior, Junior in the criminal arts."

"What do I need to know about them?"

"I think they know her too well for you to pull it off. They're really rich and the father took up crime as a hobby."

"Really rich? Oh, and Junior is cute."

Junior sat in a chair by Bonnie Shego. Senior glared at Bonnie, apparently nursing some sort of grievance with the real Shego. Junior rambled on about a new club opening in New York and Bonnie engaged him in small talk. His father listened in and stared at Bonnie.

_"Damn, he knows she's not Shego,"_ Ron thought.

"Why don't you ask her to accompany you to the club," the father suggested to his son.

"May I, father?"

"Certainly my son. While I have had objections towards Shego in the past she seems like a changed woman. You need to go out more and have fun."

Junior and Bonnie exchanged phone numbers as Ron looked on in disbelief and Señor Senior gave a smile of satisfaction. It often concerned him that Junior didn't seem more interested in pursuing attractive young women.

---

After the dinner the lights dimmed for the audience as an official of the Villains' Guild took the stage. "We will begin the presentation of awards in a minute, but we start this year's ceremony with a posthumous award to the Eliminator for his demonstration of why anti-matter bullets are a really bad idea."

Zorpox wondered if he should take off his helmet in memory of the departed, but noticed no one else had removed a head covering.

"Our first award this evening is in a new category. We honor the villain who has done the most in the past year to present a sense of style in the world of crime. And the first recipient of the award is, Señor Senior, Senior!"

The loudest applause came from the table where he was sitting as Señor Senior moved slowly to the platform to accept the award.

"Father thinks style is very important for villains," Junior explained to Bonnie Shego. "He believes it is so important he even funded the creation of the award himself. He must be very proud to be the first to receive the honor."

The Evil Eye trio cheered wildly as a villain wearing one of their designs won in the best costume category. Bonnie and Ron couldn't see the stage well enough to see the winner in the category best sidekick in a supporting role, but he must have been tiny. They did, however, hear a loud "Narf" as he collapsed under the weight of the trophy. The list of categories appeared endless -- or at least the thank you speeches of the winners… They gave out the Edward G. Robinson award for tough dialog, a lifetime achievement award, and then Wacky Wally's Weather Machines had a promotion which brought a sigh from Señor Senior Senior. "It is a pity villainy has become so commercialized." The awards continued with a presentation for Rookie of the Year, followed by an award for original escape, and then Hench Co. had their own promotion -- stressing a full range of services available for the professional villain.

The nominees in the category Best at Defying Gravity were all called on stage and asked to jump up and down a few times. It was a very impressive display.

"Put your tongue back in your mouth or I'll pull it out by the roots," Bonnie Shego warned Ron.

Even Junior seemed awestruck. "If you were a truly dutiful son," his father sighed, "you would buy me one of those for my birthday."

"I believe they only come in pairs, father," Junior replied, staring hard at the stage.

"I know that, my son."

"Oww! Why did you hit me with your cane?"

"Because you must pay attention to that which is important."

"I thought I was," Junior sulked.

The awards continued. Bonnie Shego was flirting openly with Junior, to Ron's discomfort. Zorpox turned his attention to the talking cactus whose pot had been placed on the chair on his other side, "When do they get to the Villain of the Year award?"

"Oh, no one cares this year. We all know the Alien Brain is going to take the prize."

"Why is everyone so sure?"

"Don't you read the forums? He kidnapped the committee in charge of counting ballots."

"Damn, I wish I thought of that."

"Yeah, we all do. So he probably deserves it."

Zorpox was only half listening as the announcer droned into the next presentation. "As you know, the annual award for beating the system usually goes to the villain who has used the flimsiest technicality to escape prison time. This year we honor a man who has made more money while in the custody of the state than he ever managed in his life of crime. The trophy for beating the system goes to a man who will never receive the villain of the year award… " But Ron took notice as the winner's name was announced, "Dr. Drakken."

Dr. Drakken moved to the stage with a scattering of applause from the audience. "If he's making good money maybe he can pay back some of his IOUs," Jack Hench grunted to Shego Sombra.

Having played poker with him, Zorpox and Bonnie Shego applauded loudly enough as Drakken moved to the stage to catch his attention. Drakken turned to wave, then stared at the Shego seated there -- and quickly glanced back at the Shego at his own table.

Neither Bonnie nor Ron had noticed Dr. Drakken, sitting on the other side of the room, when they came in. The announcer mentioning his name had drawn Bonnie's attention -- and she noticed the other Shego as Drakken stood up. Her eyes moved back to the dark woman she and Ron had been watching. What was going on?

Dr. Drakken held his trophy high with one hand and waved to the crowd before stepping to the microphone.

"I would like to thank the United States for providing the best legal system money can buy," he began. "And also my team of lawyers. I've developed a great plan to take over the world once I'm done with my spa treatments. In the meanwhile I'd like to thank the little people who had nothing to do with my being here -- especially Professor Dementor. I don't think the little people get any shorter than that."

The insult did not go unchallenged. Prof. Dementor pulled off a leg extension, pointed the tube-like calf toward the stage, and pressed the toe of his boot -- firing a concussion grenade at Drakken. Dr. D. ducked quickly from years of practice with Shego's plasma attacks and before Dementor could fire a second grenade Drakken's Shego came out of a tuck position as she somersaulted over the crowd and crashed feet first into Dementor's back -- knocking him to the floor. She pulled off the second leg extension, and threw it halfway across the room -- where it slid under the Alien Brain and exploded, knocking the rolling canister off his wheels.

The explosion seemed to trigger a spontaneous riot among bored diners.

"FIGHT!" the cactus yelled, "Time to rumble!"

"Come Junior, let us depart. Such violence is unseemly."

"Yes, father."

Bonnie Shego looked like she wanted to follow the Seniors, but Ron touched her arm. "I'm going to help Shego. Her table is right in the middle where the action is going to be. You can wait in the hovercraft."

"No, I'll stay with you."

As Ron and Bonnie worked their way to the middle of the room Ron saw Drakken's Shego fight her way onto the stage, throwing anyone who got in her way with amazing strength, and escort Drakken to an exit at the back.

The dress for Shego Sombra had been designed for no more strenuous exercise than normal breathing. She quickly gave up on any attempt at modesty and concentrated on not getting hurt and protecting her employer. She decided it probably made her job easier, it reduced potential attackers to the role of voyeurs. _"I need to tell Kim they thought there was nothing wrong with my distractions."_ Her irritation with Ron and Bonnie disappeared as the two charged to her aid, with their backs to the table the three formed a defensive perimeter around Jack Hench. Without speaking Ron and Shego put Bonnie between them, so they protect her from either side. Shego's reputation encouraged many attackers to use a flanking approach rather than facing Bonnie head on, and Shego avoided the use of plasma to keep the illusion in place.

Bonnie surprised them both and defended herself well.

It wasn't clear whether the fight concentrated itself around the quartet because of their central location, or perhaps some villains resented the large fees Hench charged, or their determined stand may have made the beating the trio an attractive goal. Certainly the fact Jack was throwing wine bottles, plates, and silverware at the attackers only seemed to increase their rage.

"You aren't helping, Jack," Shego complained as she blocked a kick.

"Hey, for what you're getting paid you can let me have fun"

The fighting raged as hotel staff ran to call the police.

"Bitch," Pink Swashbuckler hissed as he reached for his sword -- then remembered that he'd turned it in at the door.

He couldn't back fast enough and Bonnie Shego's foot caught him in the crotch and he went down, screaming soprano. "Oh, sorry, that ain't no way to treat a lady."

"That was cold, Bon-- Er, Shego," Zorpox said.

"I recognized the voice -- he's a senior in the Theatre Department at Middleton. I always hated that guy."

The next twenty minutes were a blur to everyone, until the sound of sirens dispersed the crowd.

"You three were great," Hench told them as he reached into his jacket pocket. "Let me give you a little something for your effort."

---

Worry about Shego kept Kim from sleeping well, and the noise from the kitchen brought her downstairs at two in the morning. She threw open the door, expecting to scold them and remind them of sleeping babies, but stopped when she saw them. Shego wore an odd looking purple coat, Zorpox's outfit was in shreds and the lens was gone from one side of his goggles, and Bonnie held a piece of raw steak over her left eye. "What happened?"

The trio kept interrupting each other as they told Kim about the night. Ron was giving a particularly graphic description of Bonnie taking down Duff Killigan when Bonnie broke in, "It was really no big. You take away his balls and he's got nothing. I really want to thank you both for covering me."

"No, you were really good Bonnie," Shego assured her, "all that Tai Chi paid off. I couldn't believe it when you took out the big guy with the blue fur."

"I think it helped a lot that I was sober and he wasn't.  
"Oh, Oh, and Señor Senior, Junior is taking me to a club next week in New York!"

"Does he know you're not me, or does he think I'm going with him?" Shego wanted to know.

"At first he thought I was you, but I finally admitted I wasn't. He almost seemed relieved. And I think it made his father happy. He seems like a nice man."

"Careful, Bonnie," Shego warned, "he's a pincher."

"Junior?"

"No, he just wants to dance. The old man is a lech though."

"Hey, KP," Ron interrupted, "we all got job offers."

"Seriously?"

"Seriously. Just henchmen positions, but I got a sidekick offer."

"Is he serious?" Kim asked Shego.

"For real. Jack Hench offered to place us all in nice positions for a small percentage of any signing bonus."

"All three of you are in trouble," Kim muttered. "Who took villain of the year?"

"I heard some guy called Alien Brain was going to get it. I've never heard of him," Ron said.

Shego suddenly laughed.

"What's so funny" Ron demanded.

"It just hit me. Professor Dementor will be in a hell of a lot of trouble next year for smuggling in weapons."

"Will they ban him from the dinner?" Bonnie asked.

"If they're thinking they'll do something a lot worse to him. They should put him in charge of counting ballots. After the stunt Alien Brain pulled this year that's going to be a dangerous job."

While Ron and Bonnie told Kim more about the night's activities Shego began to inventory the contents of the purple coat she was wearing. After discovering a bunch of exploding bananas, a fountain pen filled with disappearing sulpheric acid, and a 10,000 volt joy buzzer she decided the garment should not be left in a home with small children. She took off the coat, "Here, Ron. Hold this. Don't stick your hand in any of the pockets."

"Shego! You're topless."

"Thank you for your grasp of the obvious. I'm going to get dressed and run that coat over to the lost and found at the Villain's Club. It belongs to the Impractical Joker and it's dangerous. I'll take the hovercraft and bring it back to Wade when I'm done.  
"Oh, and Kim, when I get back you're going to tell me the real story of why Ron and Bonnie were there at the awards ceremony."

---  
---

Everyone pitched in for the pre-Passover cleaning. After a particularly long afternoon of cleaning after a full day of classes Bonnie and Monique collapsed in the living room.

"This is why I'm a Christian."

"Amen, sister."

---

For first Seder everyone in the house went to the home of Ron's parents.

Shego and Ron hosted a second Seder at Possible Manor, the first time either of them had taken on the responsibility, although Ron had a better sense of what he was doing from years of attending them. Not counting the babies there were eighteen in attendance.

The morning after the second Seder Ron called a special meeting at breakfast.

"Some of you have eaten Seder meals before this year. But none of you have gone through the eight days of Passover. For the next week there will be none of the regular products made from wheat, rice, barley, spelt, or oats in the house. You will eat, drink, and sleep matzah. As a survivor I know the key to getting through this dangerous time." Ron reached into a cabinet and pulled out a white plastic container with a blue lid and set it on the table in front of them.

"What is it?"

"They're prunes."

"Prunes are the secret for surviving Passover?"

"Trust me, Kim. You can start eating them now and have a trouble-free Passover. Or you can wait a few days until you learn the true horror of a matzah diet. And when you come crawling to me for relief you're going to have to listen to a lecture which begins with, 'I told you so.'"

"Are you serious, Stoppable?"

"Shego, there is a reason we call it the bread of affliction."

---

**Translation:** Annus mirabilis - Year of wonders

---

Author's note: An alternative end to the chapter got cut because I felt like Monique.

"Prunes are the secret for surviving Passover?"

"Trust me, Kim. You can start eating one prune with each meal and have a trouble-free Passover. Or you can wait a few days until you learn the true horror of a matzah diet. And when you come crawling to me for relief you're going to have to listen to a lecture which begins with, 'I told you so.'"

"You said, 'one prune with each meal' I hope you meant different prunes and not the same one."

"Gross. Kim, make her stop."

"Oh, Bonnie," Shego laughed, "what's a little scatological humor among friends."

"More like eschatological humor," Monique told the pale woman.

"Eschatological?"

"You make jokes like that and it's going to be your end times."

No one even smiled. Monique sighed, her best line in weeks and no one got it.


	8. Chapter 8 Apudne te vel me?

Boilerplate Disclaimer: The various characters from the Kim Possible series are all owned by Disney. Any and all registered trade names property of their respective owners. Cheap shots at celebrities constitute fair usage.

**WARNING**: This chapter is largely a gratuitous sex scene, I will claim it was done to please an individual who sent personal messages insisting that M fiction have more "good stuff." Seriously, it's more of an experiment to see if I can even write that sort of material - and the answer is I can't. No consenting adults were harmed in the production of this chapter. You're better off going to chapter 9.

**Chapter 8 - Apudne te vel me?**

Kim really thought Shego would have volunteered for the 2:00 a.m. feeding, but when Kim had awakened her she simply begged off, "Please, Kim, tomorrow morning, I promise."

Kim sat in the rocker and nursed the two, then changed diapers. Before she could go back to bed, however, she heard what sounded like a small crash downstairs. Small creaks and groans are common in old houses, but this sounded like something falling. She considered waking Shego, but finally decided to go down and check it out alone.

The entryway light gave enough light to give a fast glance into the downstairs rooms. She saw nothing obviously wrong and wondered if something could have fallen in the basement and made a noise loud enough to carry. Kim missed the figure hidden in the shadows who carefully watched her moves and waited. Convinced that everything was fine Kim turned off the lights to go back to her bedroom, which is when the lurker struck. Two strong arms encircled her, drawing her back against her assailant, and a voice whispered in her ear, "Do what I say, Princess, and you won't get hurt."

Kim submitted meekly as her assailant tied a blindfold over her eyes, then followed orders when told her to put her hands behind her back. Her captor loosely bound her wrists, then picked Kim up and carried her to a destination Kim could not see. The redhead briefly panicked as her captor seemed to drop her, but after only falling a few inches she landed facedown on a bed. She rubbed her nose against the sheets and realized with a start these weren't the sheets that were on her bed.

She pulled one arm free from her loose binding and reached up to pull off the blindfold and see where she was. But her captor appeared to be waiting for the move, Kim's arm was captured. A soft, but strong rope was fastened to her wrist, she was rolled over onto her back, and the rope was tied to what Kim assumed was the headboard.

"That's against the rules," her captor told her. "You tried to cheat."

Her second arm suffered the fate of the first. Then, with her arms tied over her head so she couldn't remove the blindfold, her captor tied her legs, leaving Kim spread-eagle on the bed. Kim giggled.

"What's so funny?"

"My mysterious captor left my panties on."

"Oh, they won't be staying on very long." Unable to see, Kim almost jumped as the cold steel of a pair of scissors slid up her leg under one side of her panties.

"No Shego, No, don't do that," Kim whispered.

But the metal blades neatly snipped through the thin material on her left side. The cold metal touched her right leg and slid under the panties there, cutting them also.

"See, Kimmie… No, you can't see, that's right. But trust me the panties are no longer a problem."

Blindfolded, Kim could only wait to serve her captor's desires. Fortunately she did not have to wait long

Her captor began by slowly kissing her way up Kim's legs. Kim waited eagerly for her partner to arrive at the top, but the warm tongue licked around her pubes in a teasing fashion. Kim arched her back, "Please, it's been more than a month."

"All the more reason to take it nice and slow," her captor told her. Kim let out a little yip of surprise as teeth gently nipped around her navel, then moved up

Oow, not so hard," Kim complained. "My nipples are more sensitive now that I'm nursing."

"I can see why the girls like this"

Then warm lips pressed themselves down on Kim's mouth. Kim's lips opened, and her tongue discovered that the captor was sharing a bittersweet chocolate with a mint center with her. While they kissed deeply her lover's fingers tickled their way up Kim's thighs, then slowly stroked her slit. Kim wiggled and arched her back again, trying to bring more pressure to bear on her clit. Instead the hand withdrew. The kiss ended, and Kim was warned, "You have to learn patience."

A few seconds later, "OH! What was that?"

"Is cuub inna mouf"

"Huh?"

Shego spit it into her hand, "Ice cube in the mouth."

"That one's going on the list with the Spanish Inquisition."

"It hurt you?"

"No, silly, because no one expects it."

Shego groaned and slipped the ice cube back in her mouth.

By the time Shego finished her tongue's exploration of erogenous zones Kim was begging Shego to bring her to climax. "Please, stop the teasing," she moaned.

"It's not teasing. It's just getting you ready."

Kim felt baby oil being squirted on her lower stomach, then heard a faint buzzing. "Is that what I think it is?"

"If you mean the Oster, yes."

_+Product explanation: The Oster hand massager is strapped to the back of a person's hand and turns the entire hand into a massage tool. It can be found in many spas and is a serious tool used by professional masseuses. It may be also be found in many nightstands as a recreational toy.+ _

"I'm right on the edge, you're going to kill me with that."

"What a way to go."

With a very light, circular motion Shego began to rub the oil lower, down Kim's abdomen and into the folds of her vagina. Kim shuddered and let out a shriek faster than Shego had expected, _"Damn, she really was on the edge."_

It was loud enough to wake up Bonnie, who pulled her pillow over her head. _"Damn, Kim's recovered and they're at it again."_

Shego silenced Kim as best she could, with her own mouth on Kim's. She was a little concerned about whether the redhead would be able to breathe, but the eagerness with which Kim sent her tongue into Shego's mouth suggested she was just fine. Shego's hand continued to move further down, her palm was now at Kim's clit, the circular motion bringing Shego's palm in contact. Shego was increasing pressure as well, Kim was whimpering and moaning as best she could with Shego's mouth covering her own. Shego's middle finger continued to rub oil down between Kim's ass cheeks, and Kim spasmed as a second orgasm hit.

Shego kept a slow circular motion with her vibrating palm while her finger continued to tickle the younger woman's ass as they continued their deep kissing. She was increasing the pressure as she massaged Kim's clit, and the younger woman was gasping with pleasure. Shego reluctantly left Kim's lips so she could breathe. Shego sensed Kim was about to climax yet again, and she bend down and began sucking a nipple.

Kim stiffened, moaning "Oh God, oh God, oh God," as nerve endings all over her body went off. She wasn't sure if she was having a series of orgasms or one which didn't want to end. She finally went limp and Shego withdrew her hand.

"Seems like you died _le petite morte_ several times there," Shego said.

Kim was incapable of coherent speech for the moment. The ex-teen was looking dazed and glassy-eyed when Shego took off her blindfold and threw the ropes off her wrists and ankles. "Happy birthday, Princess!"

"I thought I wasn't getting my birthday present until tonight," she finally moaned.

"It's after midnight, so it is your twentieth birthday."

"I was going to wear an old pair of panties."

"Gripe, gripe, gripe. This was your idea, remember? I really had trouble with this sick and twisted little fantasy."

"It would be sick and twisted if I really wanted an unknown attacker to assault me. If I know it's you, and you're doing it because I asked you to, then it's only a game. I thought you were in favor of letting consenting adults do what they wanted in the bedroom?"

"I still think it's sick and twisted."

"Says the woman who wants me to get into my cheerleading uniform, without panties, for some sort of spanking game."

"Look, I've really had this thing about cheerleaders since they gave me a hard time in high school."

"Oh, yes," Kim said in a soothing tone, "and so it would all be just a form of therapy if you put me over your knee and paddled my bare bottom?"

"Uh, exactly."

"Sounds pretty sick and twisted to me."

"Not the same," Shego said softly. "I've been forced into sex. I can't begin to tell you how awful it is. That's why I didn't want to tie your wrists and ankles -- I don't think I could have gone through with it if you were really tied…"

"I notice you just sort of looped the rope on me. I couldn't struggle because nothing would have stayed in place. It bothered you that much?"

"Yes, it did."

"It never used to bother you to tie me up."

"First, we weren't lovers. Second, I was never planning to rape you. The idea of tying someone up for sex really bothers me."

"I'm sorry I asked you for that fantasy. You can have your spanking the cheerleader. Do you want it for your birthday?"

"No, I had something else in mind for my birthday."

"Okay, but if you get it as general fantasy I want you to stop giving me grief about meeting your family that first night."

"You deserted me in my hour of need! You threw me to the wolves at my Mom and Dad's; telling them we were sleeping together and you were carrying my kids -- then hiding in the bathroom and letting me face the pack alone."

"True enough. And you've been giving me shit for three months because of it. Now do you want to keep ragging on me for it for the next fifty years or you want to get back at all those naughty cheerleaders who made you miserable in high school?"

"I promise to stop bringing it up -- after you play cheerleader. Oh, and Princess? After you play naughty cheerleader. I'll do that little trick with my tongue you love so much. Will that make it all better?"

"That will make a lot of it better. Oh, if you get a special fantasy for no particular reason, can I have one too?"

"What is it," Shego asked cautiously. "I don't want another one like this."

"No, nothing like that. We'll slip in to Middleton High some night and have sex in my old homeroom."

"Kim!"

"No, seriously. I spent a lot of time there wondering in my innocent schoolgirl way if there was life after high school. It will be fun."

"Do your parents have any idea how wild you really are?"

"Probably not a clue. Besides, I'll just say you're a bad influence on me."

"It's breaking and entering!"

"I'll wear the cheerleading outfit."

Shego laughed, "And you're devious and manipulative too. Maybe that's why I love you."

Kim yawned, "I'm so tired I should go back to sleep, but two questions. First, when did you change the sheets?"

"While you were nursing. Then I went down and knocked over a chair to get your attention. I knew your curiosity would make you check."

"Okay, and second question is, what do you want for your birthday?"

"I want romance. You're not going to get off as easily as this. If you want into my panties you're going to have to work for it. When you pick me up for dinner I want to feel you undressing me with your eyes. You'll take me to a nice place, make sure I have a couple glasses of wine -- hoping it will make it a little easier for you later in the evening. You'll stare at me while we eat, and tell me I look beautiful. If you say it with enough passion I'll slip one foot out of my shoe and run it up the inside of your leg. Then you'll take me dancing. You'll hold me close and tell me I'm a wonderful dancer--"

"Lie to the partner, check."

Shego glared at her. "You'll tell me I'm a wonderful dancer. You'll hold me close; rubbing your body against me on the dance floor in a way that tells me what you want to do with me later in bed. After dancing, and another undressing with your eyes, you'll take me home. But we stop somewhere for dessert on the way. You order something rich and chocolaty, you will feed me exactly two small bites off your fork while I gaze adoringly in your eyes. I'll have a glass of a sweet dessert wine to remove any inhibitions I have left. We finish the drive home and you walk me to my door --"

"Mine too!"

"Are you hoping to get any on my birthday or to spend the night on the couch?"

"I'll be good."

"You'd better be. Anyway, at the door you give me a goodnight kiss. You'll give me one hell of a goodnight kiss and I'll ask you to come inside with me. Once inside I'll complain about feeling stressed out after a hard day. You'll offer to help me relax with a back rub."

"I'm starting to like this one too."

"Good! They're the most fun if we're both happy. Anyway, you'll massage my back, turning me to putty in your hands. We'll start kissing on the couch. Your hands will start to wander… You'll be rubbing my front now also -- but don't try getting into my dress yet. You'll whisper you know a way to help me relax all over, and I'll ask you up to my bedroom."

"Am I supposed to pretend I don't know the way? Or would you rather I swept you off your feet and carried you upstairs? You seem to have this awfully well planned."

"I'll let you surprise me. Once in the bedroom we kiss again, and you'll whisper softly, asking me if I'm sure this is what I want."

"That's really important for you, isn't it?" Kim asked seriously.

"Yes. That's why I had some trouble with your little fantasy."

"I'll try and remember that."

"Anyway, I will assure you I'm ready. Then, and only then, you can start to unzip my dress. Kiss me all the way down my back as you slowly unzip me. Once I'm out of my little black dress you are allowed to improvise anyway you want."

"Really? You aren't going to tell me how many licks it takes to get to the center of a tootsie pop?"

Shego glared at her. "That is why I have to give you a road map through the romantic part. You're great with the sex part, but you have to remember to make me feel special. You get me feeling special and we'll be making love all night long."

"That should give me happy dreams," Kim said drowsily as she slipped back into sleep.

"Happy birthday, Princess," Shego said as she lightly kissed Kim's forehead.

**Translation:** Apudne te vel me? - Your place or mine?


	9. Chapter 9 Audaces fortuna iuvat

Boilerplate Disclaimer: The various characters from the Kim Possible series are owned by Disney. Any and all registered trade names property of their respective owners. Cheap shots at celebrities constitute fair usage.

NoDrogs created the twins, Kasy and Sheki, in his story A Small Possibility.

**Chapter 9 - Audaces fortuna iuvat **

Consulting a professor after class left Shego behind schedule. She ran back home and tagged Bonnie, who bitched, "You're late!" before she ran for her own class.

The twins appeared soundly asleep and Shego had just settled down on the couch with her Elizabethan Drama text when the doorbell rang. "Damn!" She guessed it was the dark suit who had been watching the house when she left that morning. His look said Agency, and he probably wanted to speak to her alone.

Her guess was right.

"Can I come in and talk?"

"Aren't you supposed to show me credentials first?"

"I'm not here to play games."

_"Oh yes you are,"_ Shego thought. _ "Right now you're trying to prove you're tough enough to get inside without following the rules."_

She took him into the library. No work had been done except the new floor and it was a mess, but she wasn't trying to impress him.

"Now, Shego, you know why I'm here."

"Nope. Why the fuck are you here?"

"We want it back?"

"What back? Stop playing games and get to the point -- if you have one. I've got a five page paper due Friday and no time to listen you play tough guy."

"The copy of the database. Give it back to me and no one gets hurt."

She shook her head in bewilderment. "Humans invented language to communicate. You're getting an F. What database? And just who are you threatening to hurt?"

At least he could be clear on that point, "I hear you and Kim Possible have two very pretty babies."

---

Kim heard the screams before she even got the door open. They seemed to be coming from the library. She ran to find out what was happening, there. The stench of burning hair greeted her as she opened the door. Shego had one hand on a man's throat. She held him pressed up against a wall and appeared to be giving him a haircut using plasma flame.

"WHAT THE--"

"He threatened the babies. Speaking of which -- go make sure his screaming didn't wake them up."

"He threatened the babies?"

"Yes."

"It's still a little longer on the left side, you'd better get that evened up. And try to not damage the wall."

Shego looked over at Kim and grinned, "I'll be careful."

* * *

"I stopped by a bar after class and I think he was trying to impress me with some stupid cigarette lighter trick," Shego told the emergency room nurse. "Somehow the lighter broke, butane got on his hair and his head went up in flame." She looked over at the frightened man, "Isn't that right."

He nodded his head yes.

"And I checked his pockets, and the poor man got out this morning without his wallet or any papers to help me identify him." She looked over again, "Isn't that right."

He nodded his head yes.

"That was an expensive suit before the flames ruined it. I'll bet he has health coverage. But I'll pick up the bill if he isn't covered. I feel a little responsible since he was trying to impress me. I'll just wait out here while you treat the burns. I want to talk with him for a few minutes when he's out of pain."

Shego smiled as she put on her reading glasses and opened the Elizabethan Drama text in the emergency room lobby. No crying babies, no Kim, Bonnie, or Monique to distract her. With any luck she could finish next week's reading assignments before she went home and Ron would have a plate of something delicious waiting for her.

* * *

"He's a little groggy with the pain medication, but you can try and talk with him."

Shego thanked the nurse and smiled sweetly until the young man in hospital white left the room.

Bandages covered most of the man's head, but his eyes went wide with terror as she leaned over and flames sprang up around her index finger, "I forgot to trim the nose hairs."

She let him stare at the flame for a minute before she began talking. "I've got enough information in your credentials back at the house to find you whenever I want. If those babies even get a cold and I find out you're in the state you're going to think today was spent in a luxury spa. Do you understand that?"

He nodded his head yes.

"Did Zach Goldman survive the hatchet job Porter Goss did at the Agency?"

He nodded his head yes.

"Did Zach send you?"

He shook his head no.

"Good, then I'm willing to talk with him. Tell the Agency that when you brief whatever asshole sent you to annoy me. Is that clear enough?"

He nodded his head yes.

* * *

"I am supposed to meet someone here," Shego told the hostess at the Astor. "He was supposed to arrange a private room."

"That would be Mr. Goldman?"

Shego nodded and a waitress led her to one of the smaller rooms the restaurant offered.

He stood up and started to offer a hand, then noticed her scowl and kept his hand at his side. They sat down, across from each other.

"Would you like some time to decide on your order?"

He looked at the waitress. "The New York strip sounds good. Baked potato. Italian dressing on the side salad." He looked over at Shego.

"Yes, make it two. And a bottle of the most expensive red in the house -- it's his expense account. Oops, I need to change my order. Trout instead of New York strip -- and I think the rice pilaf goes better with that than the potato."

"Do you wish to change the wine?"

"No, he still has steak and he's paying for it."

After the waitress left she turned on him, "What kind of an amateur did you send out to talk with me?"

"I didn't send him. It's your own fault, Shego, for having such a bad ass reputation. You're like one of those great gun-slingers in the wild west -- people are out to get you to establish their own reps. He wanted to show his dick was bigger than yours."

Shego almost smiled, "You feeling the need to prove something?"

"Nope, I'll admit you're the biggest dick at the table. You really caught him threatening your kids on a digital recorder?"

She shook her head yes.

"Any chance we can get that back?"

"Sorry, a computer nerd has it in a safe spot. It goes on the internet if anything happens."

"We figured Mr. Load would get it."

"How do you know about the babies? He said Kim's and my babies. That isn't very well known."

"He shouldn't have said that either," Zach sighed. "I'm going to have to speak to Human Resources about quality control."

"You're not answering the question."

"You know I respect confidential sources. Let's just say someone who knows gave us the information."

Shego hoped it was DNAmy, because, if it wasn't, one of her friends was the most likely source. Then she sighed and took a digital recorder out of her purse, placed it on the table and turned it off. "We're going to be honest at this meeting?"

He took a recorder from his pocket and turned it off. "Honest Injun."

She took out a second digital recorder and turned it off also. She looked across the table and raised an eyebrow.

"Give me a break, Shego. I have to turn a record of the conversation over when I get back. Let me keep this one running."

She laughed and extended her hand to him across the table. They shook hands. "You're a son of a bitch, but you've always been an honest son of a bitch with me. What is this all about?"

He looked a bit startled. "You really don't know?"

"No, I don't. And if you don't tell me what's going on you're going to end up with a really bad haircut also."

"It's just going to be harder if it wasn't you… Last March someone stole a laptop which had a database with all the Agency's agents, informers, and stringers--"

"Why did you have something like that sitting around?"

"Well, if you mean 'why something like that,' it was to check for duplications. Some informers try to work for several agents. They get more pay, and with multiple agents giving similar reports it makes fake information look more credible. If you mean, 'why was it sitting around,' it wasn't. It was chained down in one of our most secure offices. No one could take it home by accident -- it could only be stolen."

"And you figured it was me because I'm so good?"

He shook his head. Then he leaned down and took a briefcase off the floor. He sat it on his lap and took out a manila envelope which he passed over to her.

As she looked at the photo she had to agree with his comment, "Taken the night of the theft. That sure as hell looks like your uniform. Figure was only visible in about three frames -- that was the best."

"Someone is trying to set me up. According to the date stamp in the corner I have a great alibi -- the ambassador to China will testify I wasn't in the country that night. If the figure is only in three frames then the person wearing my outfit went on film just to leave this image. If this person wanted to hide identity by wearing a hood, why did he --"

"He?"

"Let me finish. If I were wearing a hood to hide my face I wouldn't be in my costume. As I look at that ass and those shoulders I think it's a thin man dressed like me to throw you off…"

There was a moment of silence, then they said, "Falsetto Jones!" almost together as the waitress arrived with their meals.

When they were again alone Shego asked, "Did you send Bert last spring?"

"I didn't. The Agency did. Too many people with no vision. We didn't need you dead, we needed the database back -- it can compromise our work around the entire world. Killing you just means we don't know where it is."

"Did you have anything to do with the DOJ dropping Federal charges?"

"Yeah, that was my suggestion. First, with you in Canada it gave us time to comb through every one of Drakken's lairs we could find. Second, you get more flies with sugar. Speaking of which, I am quite certain you want to get the database back for us. We haven't lost any agents yet -- so he hasn't sold it. The value goes down as it ages -- so he's either going to use it as a bargaining chip against us or wait until some international crisis suddenly ups its worth."

"Sounds like it's really important to you. Since you're a friend I'll cut you a deal, five million, cash under the table, for the job."

"I'm afraid you're going to have to work a lot cheaper than that. It looks to me like we've got you by the short hairs. You see, while the DOJ decided not to prosecute last spring, it could change its mind at any time. We've got enough on you to put you away for the rest of your life."

"So basically, the Agency can blackmail me into doing jobs as long as it wants?"

"Just me, you're one of my troops and I'm not going to let the idiots use you on one of their short range mistakes. I try to take care of my people. I won't ask you to take a job unless I think it's absolutely necessary."

"So, I'm having to work for free?"

"You don't get freelancer rates anymore. One million for a successful job. That's twice as big as a good price -- but this is important. I think I can get you another half million in a year if the press doesn't hear a word --"

"I want that in writing."

"Done."

"I have to ask the obvious question, how do you know the data is still on the computer and he hasn't made a hundred copies?"

"We can only hope he has tried. After a couple thefts of data from other government agencies our database was set up so any effort to copy the data will erase it and garble the drive so thoroughly I doubt your young friend could recover it. It may already be junk, but we need to know. We'll pay your reasonable expenses even if you get nothing -- but you will need to fill out an expense report."

"You need to call a judge here in Middleton and get a legal okay for me to leave the country."

He stared at her, "When the hell did you care what the law said?"

"I'm becoming an honest woman."

He snorted, "Winged monkeys fly out of my ass when I fart."

"And government agencies asking me to do work for them will look good when I come up for trial."

"Okay, that I believe. Who is the judge?"

"Her name is Alice Armstrong. She's an eight hundred pound gorilla in the legal community in this state."

"You're going to need all the eight hundred pound gorillas you can get."

"Anyway, getting back to this job. You will provide transportation?"

"Of course."

"And pay for my staff is part of a reasonable expenses?"

"Don't try to screw us."

"Try and screw the person blackmailing me? I wouldn't dream of it. Oh, can the Agency do anything to about the state charges against me? I'll be going on trial here eventually."

He sighed. "We've got a lot less pull with the state. I can't make any promises. But I'll see if I know any eight hundred pound gorillas and try to pull in some favors -- you're worth a lot more to me if you aren't behind bars. Oh, and one other piece of bad news. Since you're becoming an 'honest woman' we'll be sending information on the million over to the IRS."

Shego nodded glumly. After taxes it would be a lot less than she would have liked, but she could put it into the fund for her legal defense without any challenges.

* * *

At the dinner table that night, "Bonnie, Ron, I need you for a fast trip to Europe this weekend."

"I have homework. Why do I need to go to Europe?"

"Okay, Bonnie. I guess you don't. I can hire some makeup artist in Europe to work on Ron for three thousand dollars."

"Maybe I can study on the way?"

"I'm sure you can. It will be a safe trip for you."

"Hey, I don't remember agreeing to anything."

"Please, Stoppable. I really need you. How about twenty thousand dollars for a weekend's work."

"Boo-yah! Wait a minute... Is it dangerous?"

"With any luck you'll be safer than your average mission with Kim. Oh, and buy a suit or two -- something conservative -- I can put that on the expense account."

"Hey, what about Kim and me?" Monique demanded.

"Sorry Monique, I don't have a role for you in this."

"No, I mean what happens to Kim and me this weekend if you take our chef and nanny?"

"I guess the two of you watch the babies and order Chinese takeout."

"There goes the weekly poker game," Kim sighed.

* * *

After supper Bonnie and Ron sat with Shego and talked strategy. Kim sat with them, curious about what was going on. Shego showed them a set of credentials and explained, "Ron needs to look like the man in the photo ID. He's going to need a haircut and dye job."

"Can't I just wear a wig?" Ron asked.

"Sorry, Stoppable, but it may need to survive a really close inspection."

"Why didn't you get a picture of me for the fake ID?"

Shego pretended she hadn't heard the question.

"What is this all about?" Kim asked.

"It's a matter of national security."

Ron looked at her in disbelief, "And when did you start caring about national security."

"When they tied it to helping me stay out of prison."

Ron leaned back in the chair, stretched out his legs and put his arms behind his head, "Oh, yeah. My price just went up."

"How much money do you want? It's going to come out of my pocket."

"Oh, I don't need any more money. This mission, I'm the hero -- you're the sidekick. Say it, Shego. Say, 'I'm the sidekick.'"

"No fucking way! I was asked to take this mission. I'm running it. You're still sidekick."

Ron cupped one hand behind an ear. "Oh, that didn't sound right at all. It sounded like you said you were going to find someone else."

Green flames were beginning to flicker around Shego's hands.

"Will you two knock it off!" Kim interrupted. "Ron, please help her. Shego, you need him. Can't the two of you just say partners?"

"Just kiss and make up," Bonnie suggested. Shego and Ron continued to glare at each other. "Oh, fine. We'll do it then. Kim, you take Shego." And Bonnie leaned over and kissed Ron. Ron looked slightly shocked, but the women had a good laugh and Shego finished outlining her plan.

* * *

Wade finished his modifications on the duplicate laptop only a couple hours before they left. He would be the biggest item on her expense report -- and claimed he was only charging for parts. Shego suspected he was charging a large markup on those parts. He was really turning out very well.

Shego stayed at the controls with the Agency pilot for most of the trip, while Bonnie worked on assignments and Ron napped. As they neared their destination the pilot requested Shego return to the main cabin.

"Are you sure they won't need my passport?" Bonnie asked for the third time.

"Probably not for where we'll be landing," Shego repeated. "You sound like you want to go through customs."

"Yeah, I'd like that stamp to show I've been somewhere. Will there be time for buying souvenirs?"

* * *

The landing strip appeared to be part of an abandoned military base. The jet taxied to a hangar whose open door revealed an interior in better shape than the exterior suggested. As they descended from the plane a long dark car drove up to them.

"Oh, Shit!" Shego said as she noticed the driver's bandaged head.

"What's wrong?"

"Just put all the bags in the back with you and Bonnie, I'm going to ride up front with our driver."

* * *

They rode for fifteen minutes in total silence, until Shego couldn't take it any more. "Why are you here?"

"Not my idea," he told her bitterly. "I'd rather be back in the burn unit. I think Goldman is punishing me by making me work as your flunky -- a warning to me not to mess with you again. I'd rather be on a different continent."

"The son of a bitch," Shego grunted. "I'd rather be here with a snake. I wonder what I did to piss him off?"

_"Just being yourself,"_ he thought.

"I heard that."

* * *

They had three rented rooms at a small inn fairly close to Falsetto Jones' villa. It was getting dark as they arrived. The agent went over a map with Shego, handed her the keys, took some pain pills and went to bed.

Ron got into a suit Bonnie had helped him pick out while she set out her makeup materials. He sat in a chair and she draped a towel around his neck and started working on his face. It was after ten by the time she was finished. She yawned as she closed the makeup case. "My work here is done. I'm crashing in the other room."

* * *

The burned agent hadn't shown Shego the wrong map. There was very little time for talk as she drove Ron over.

"Hey, if you actually find the computer and get it out I'll say you were in charge and I'm the sidekick. But you don't have to get heroic in there, partner. You finding the computer would be Plan B. We'll probably have to stick with Plan A."

"You got a Plan C if it all hits the fan?"

"Won't need it. Plan A will work. Have you been able to contact Wade yet?"

"He never used to be this slow… Hey, buddy!" Ron said as Wade's face came onto the doctored laptop, "Team Possible back in action after almost a year!"

Shego could tell Wade wasn't happy, but Ron missed the clues. It wasn't Team Possible without Kim there, and Wade would never be happy about the changed relationships.

They parked outside the wall around the villa. Ron turned off the monitor and closed the laptop. It had been modified to a point where it was essentially a large Kimmunicator. Ron put in an earpiece to hear directions and comments from Wade and Shego and slipped over the wall. Shego had the real Kimmunicator and monitored Ron's progress.

With the help of the modified laptop, and his own training, Ron slipped through motion detectors and a range of other security devices. He penetrated to the very center of Jones's home, then turned on a jamming device that allowed him to enter the office.

"I'm impressed," Shego's voice whispered in his ear. "Couldn't have done a better job myself."

"Any help here, Wade?" Ron whispered into the laptop.

"He's had too many alterations made since the original plans. You're on your own, Ron."

"I'll give you half an hour to find it, Stoppable. Then we're back to Plan A."

* * *

Forty minutes later Shego's voice whispered in Ron's ear. "You've done a hell of a job. But we're in a hurry. Plan A, now."

Ron turned off the jamming device -- and alarms began sounding throughout the villa.

They were remarkably sloppy in Ron's opinion. It was almost a full two minutes later when the first two hired muscle men burst into the office, guns drawn. Falsetto Jones followed closely, wearing pink silk pajamas and in a black silk bathrobe with a rose dragon embroidered on it. A third man with a gun brought up the rear, with a fourth staying in the hallway outside the room. Ron was seated, his feet up on the desk, smiling as they came in.

"Don't scratch the desk! It's antique cherry," the high-voiced thief screamed.

Ron left his feet on the desk. "I'm from the Agency. Here are my credentials. You didn't really think we'd believe Shego stole the database, did you? "

"Well, it took you a year to get here -- so I'm guessing you did believe the frame," Jones sneered as he checked the face on the ID with man sitting at his desk.

"Believe what you want. I came to open negotiations with you. Actually, finding it was easier than I thought," he pointed to the doctored laptop. "I just got a little careless on my way out. What is it you want for the database?"

Jones stared at the computer. "We'll talk over breakfast. Keith, Mick, show our guest to a room and make sure he stays there."

After the gunmen escorted Ron from the room Jones picked up the doctored laptop and examined it. "Come on, Falsetto, be human! Let your curiosity get the better of you," Shego whispered as she stared into the Kimmunicator.

"Quiet, Shego, I need to listen," Wade scolded.

* * *

"Sweet," Wade breathed. "We caught how he opens the panel over the safe, and he had it so close to him I could watch him open the safe as well as hear the tumblers."

Falsetto Jones looked at the laptop, still in the safe, and the identical laptop beside him. Why would they bring a fake laptop? … Unless it was a bomb and they had decided that destroying the database was as good as getting it back!

"Brian! Come to the office, now!" Jones barked into intercom. The guard made much better time getting to the office on the second trip. "Take this out a mile or so and dump it in a ditch."

"It looks like a good computer. Why do you want me--"

"Take it! Now!"

"He could have told poor Brian he thinks it's a bomb," Wade told Shego.

"I think Brian got a hint from his tone."

"Can you use the homing device to get it back before you leave? I put some good stuff in there."

"I'll get it as soon as Brian dumps it. I need to give the place a half hour for everyone to get back to sleep."

* * *

Having watched Ron's entry it went even more quickly for Shego. She took all the jewelry from the safe as well as the laptop. _ "There's got to be a reward on this stuff,"_ she thought as she pocketed the items. She thought of leaving a signed eight by ten of herself in the safe, but didn't have the house in Middleton secure enough to play that game. Instead she adjusted the Kimmunicator to pick up Ron's homing signal and went to take out his guards.

There were no guards in front of Ron's door, which worried Shego. Ron, however, had them neatly trussed up and blindfolded inside the room, while he was snoring loudly on the bed. She shook him awake, "Come on, we need to go home."

* * *

It was six in the morning when the burned man pulled the limo up outside the hangar. Shego said nothing, but handed him back his wallet and other papers. He said nothing when he looked at them, but gave her a nod.

Bonnie and Ron reclined their seats and went to sleep on each other before they even left for home. Shego spread a blanket over them. She waited a few minutes after take off before joining the new Agency pilot -- they didn't want her knowing the exact location of their airfield. She had gotten no sleep at all, and after a couple hours in the cockpit she decided sleep sounded better than flying.

Shego looked at the sleeping Ron and Bonnie. The cabin was awfully cold. This was a VIP jet and the seats were extra wide -- there should be room enough for the three of them to sleep in two seats. She feared Bonnie would freak out if she woke up with Shego's arms around her, so she slid in between Ron and the armrest. Bonnie wouldn't complain -- it forced Ron closer to her. And Ron shouldn't complain, after all, they were partners.

* * *

Zach Goldman and half a dozen agents awaited the jet in Middleton. As soon as Shego handed him the computer he plugged it in to an auxiliary power source and turned it on to verify it was the correct machine. "Any problems in Europe?" he asked as it warmed up.

"None. You're a real bastard, you know that?"

"It's been said. I wanted to know if he could learn from mistakes."

"Yeah, and he plays through pain too."

"Would you feel better knowing he was going to be fired for messing up the assignment with you? He's still got a job now and he's on my team."

The computer checked out. Grinning broadly he held his precious burden and handed Shego a large envelope. "Fill out all the forms and send them in. You'll get paid at the end of the month."

"Have you figured out how Jones stole it in the first place?"

"Afraid not," he admitted.

"Why don't you hire this firm I know, Lipsky and Load, to run a security check?"

"Because, if Lipsky is your blue-skinned friend he is a security risk."

"A bigger risk than the fact a thief has already shown he can get in and out?"

"Okay, maybe, just maybe, I'll request we give them a call."

"Be sure to mention my name. I get a referral fee."

* * *

**Translation:** Audaces fortuna iuvat - Fortune favors the bold.


	10. Chapter 10  Cogito ergo doleo

Boilerplate Disclaimer: The various characters from the Kim Possible series are all owned by Disney. Any and all registered trade names property of their respective owners. Cheap shots at celebrities constitute fair usage.

Kasy Ann and Sheki Go Possible were created by NoDrogs in the story A Small Possibility.

**Chapter 10 - Cogito ergo doleo**

By late spring some semblance of routine came to Possible Manor. Kim swore she would try and be less jealous and controlling, Shego promised to try and be more open with her feelings. Neither really believed the other, but each was determined to try and keep her own promise.

Sheki and Kasy were sleeping for longer stretches of the night. Shego, Bonnie, and Kim rotated the late night feedings and everyone had caught up on sleep. Adequate sleep and the end of Shego's headaches meant that she and Kim were arguing less, which improved everyone's mood.

Shego had the contractors put a new floor down on the front porch, and had a handicapped ramp installed while they did the work. She and Ron had nailed together a couple Adirondack chairs and a loveseat for the front porch, which transformed the porch into a wonderful place to watch rainy spring days if you didn't have too much homework. Bonnie suggested a porch swing, and it went on the list of things to do someday.

Having regained at least some of her old repertoire Shego felt less self-conscious and sometimes sat out on the porch to practice the flute. She was not yet up to her father's standards, but the haunting Gaelic melodies charmed pedestrians walking through the neighborhood.

On warm spring days Kim and Shego delighted in loading the twins into a double stroller and walking them through the neighborhood or around the campus in the evenings. The delight came in seeing neighbors or other students try to figure out what was happening. The twin's fair skin, with just the smallest hint of green to it, made strangers identify Shego as the mother. Students on campus had seen Kim as she carried the babies, yet they also noticed the resemblance to Shego. The twins bore no resemblance to Ron, who everyone assumed was the father. Had Kim been a surrogate mother: carrying the babies for the other woman? Was the Lit. major related to the unknown father? And if she was, where and who was he? And the two women seemed terribly affectionate. Kim and Shego usually had a story to tell Monique or Ron when they got back from a stroll. Even Bonnie could enjoy the tales of bewilderment.

---

Kim's vigil on the front porch was rewarded when she caught Monique coming back from class.

"Sit down, GF. You've been avoiding being alone with me for days now. It means we need to talk."

Monique took the other Adirondack chair, "Is it that obvious?"

"Sure is. Why hasn't Will been around for the last couple weeks? If he was on a mission he'd call and you'd be okay. You've been in a worse mood than Bonnie, and that's saying something. I thought you survived meeting his parents."

"Yeah, I can take that kind of old school, East Coast, old blood racism. They tried to be all liberal and open, but you could tell they didn't like me. I thought of going ghetto sister dialect on them, but I kept my cool. I love Will… I thought I loved Will… "

Kim waited a minute, "So, what happened. Did his mom and dad get to him with their arguments?"

"I don't think so. While we were flying back he told me how proud he was of me and how I handled myself. Then we started talking about the future. It's hard to give up all your old blood prejudices when you've been taking them in since your mother's milk."

"The race thing doesn't seem to bother him."

"The 'race thing' as you call it isn't what this is about. Oh, maybe it is a little. I don't see how we can forget it completely. The Du women have never done any work except volunteer to pour tea at DAR events. I don't know if you know this, but his family has money. He doesn't need to work for Global Justice; he wants to help people. He expects his wife to stay at home and sit on the boards of charities. He made it clear he would not want me to work."

"And you want to work?"

"Damn straight. I don't know if my Mom wanted to go to work, but she had to. And she gave me a model of a woman who can take care of herself and didn't take lip from anybody. I watched those Du women and how they listened to their men. If that's his model for married life I want no part of it. I'm getting a business degree. I'm good, and I enjoy my work. I'm not giving up what I want to be treated like a lap dog. I'm a realist. There are a lot of pressures in a mixed marriage, what if it doesn't work out? I want to be able to take care of myself. And I told him flat out I would not be a Du woman."

"You're that committed to keeping your own name? I thought you were pretty traditional too."

"I am pretty traditional, but a Du woman, think about it Kim."

"I don't get it."

"You didn't pay attention during Black History month in high school, did you? A do-rag was a way slave women and domestic servants put their hair up."

"I'm sorry."

"Not your fault. White people just don't get it. I'm not exactly the same as you, just with darker skin. All of us are the product of our histories. We can't escape it…"

"I meant I was sorry about you and Will."

"He'll come back if he loves me. I know it. If he doesn't… I'm better off knowing that now."

"If he comes back? Did he walk out or did you walk out? You're both proud. If he's waiting for you to call and you're waiting for him to call you're both going to be waiting for a long time. You want to hear about the two months I wasn't speaking to Shego?"

---

"I really want you to quit the Villain's Guild," Kim demanded.

"And how many times do I have to tell you, the answer is no. The banquet is a chance to catch up with people I haven't seen in years."

"The court won't like it."

"Then I suggest you don't tell them."

"You're going to get a real job."

"Look, I've already told you. Lawyers are one of those jobs like lobbyist or used car salesman where you are welcome to join. I even checked this week, membership dues are a tax write-off."

"What?"

"Yeah, the IRS recognizes lawyers could be meeting prospective clients. It's a business expense."

"That's… that's…"

"Don't blow a gasket, Princess. Here's my best offer. You can come to the dinner next year as my bodyguard. 

"That's your best offer?"

"Yeah, take it or leave it. Oh, and you have to promise not to throw the first punch. I don't want you to embarrass me in public."

---

Besides the conversation with Kim after the Villain of the Year Awards on the subject of trust, Shego also wanted to talk with Wade -- who, she had decided, she probably didn't. She had a theory about the third Shego at the Villain of the Year Award. Her suspicions were not confirmed directly by Wade, since he was not taking her calls or responding to emails, but were confirmed indirectly when she went to the Lair and found the lock changed on the side door she used.

The lock impressed her, for a beginner it showed real potential. Pickman, her old teacher, would have seen it as a noble first effort. It took Shego about four minutes to open the door. Having opened the door, however, Shego hesitated. She owed Wade for helping her when she wanted to find Drakken and other favors. And while the retainer she currently received wasn't large it was still a breach of trust to break in. She almost convinced herself she was doing if for his own good, then closed and relocked the door. She left a note on the main door for the young genius:  
W-  
We need to talk.  
-S

Shego didn't expect a quick response, and she wasn't disappointed. Almost two weeks after she left the message, however, her phone vibrated while she was in the library stacks. "Hello," she whispered.

"Help… please…"

Fortunately Possible Manor was close to the U, within minutes Shego had the old Bug on the road for the Lair for her second fastest trip there. She didn't even bother picking the lock, her plasma blast turned a section of the doorframe into molten slag and fried half the alarm circuits -- although an alarm was still going off as she ran through the Lair looking for Wade.

His coughing drew her to the main lab. Wade was sitting on the floor, leaning up against the wall, looking badly roughed up and gingerly holding his left arm. Shego didn't like the angle of his arm; it was dislocated or broken. She grabbed a fire extinguisher and put out a couple small fires before going over to him. It looked like a couple other fires had burned themselves out before she got there. She filled in some details of her own theory as she worked.

Wade tried hard, and very unsuccessfully, to treat it lightly, "No big, just a little experiment that got out of hand."

"Yeah, sure. And you always work around the lab with no pants on?"

Realizing Shego would not accept a lie he asked, "What are you going to tell Kim?"

"I'm going to tell her there was an accident in the lab and you called me. As far as I'm concerned that's all there is for me to say. If she wants to ask what the accident was, or why you called me, I'll tell her to ask you. You tell her any story you want. I keep my lies simple, it's easier that way. Now, do you want me to try and take you to the hospital or call and ambulance and let them see all this?"

"I'd like you to take me to the hospital."

"You got a change of clothing around here?"

"No."

"Well, I'll check Doc's quarters for a pair of pants. Let's not raise too many questions when I bring you in."

Before they got into the car Shego welded the side door shut. "You'll need to replace that. And if you're going to call me for help you have to give me a real key."

"You're really not going to tell Kim anything?"

"Just what I told you. You called me. I took you to the hospital. I won't rat you out to your mother either."

As they rode in Shego asked, "You want to talk about it, knowing its not going any further than this car?"

"I thought I had enough safeguards on the thing. Drakken gave me the plans months ago and I've been trying to work on a model that would be obedient without being mindless… Haven't had much luck at that. At least I took out the super speed and put in a couple safeguards that worked or I'd probably be dead now."

"Kids today," Shego muttered. "Back in my day all we needed was our own hand to provide ourselves with entertainment. But you've got to have your electronic gizmos. So, tell me Wade, how many batteries did she take?"

"Not funny, Shego."

"I think it's hilarious. But you're the only one who'll hear it."

Shego left the car at the emergency entrance and went in with Wade. After he was admitted she moved the car and came back to wait for news. While she waited she called Kim to say she would be late.

"Should Ron and I come down to see him?"

"No, I think boy genius is embarrassed that he could have an experiment go wrong. Wait a day or two and don't give him a hard time when you see him."

Mrs. Load wondered why her son had called Shego, and why the pale woman had requested she bring a pair of pants over to the hospital.

"I think he called me because I know the Lair well and can get in. I'm not really sure about the pants -- maybe his got burned or had some chemicals on them. You'll have to ask him yourself, I'm just the driver."

"Bless you, Shego."

A large figure between Shego and the light cast a shadow on her as she finished the call to Mrs. Load.

"Officer Hobble, to what do I owe the honor?"

"Hospital gave me a call. This is the second time in a couple months you've brought in an injured man. I just want to ask a couple questions."

"You think I hurt them?" Shego laughed. "Go in and talk with Wade. He'll tell you I'm nothing but a good Samaritan."

While Officer Hobble questioned Wade his mother arrived with a small bag of clothes and waited with Shego. Hobble confirmed Shego's prediction, "He says you're the best friend he has. I'm just doing my job -- I had to ask."

When Wade came out, his left arm in a sling, Shego told him the gist of her conversation with his mother, "She wanted you to give up the Lair. I pointed out you've had years without an accident and she agreed to let you continue to use it -- if you promise to stop whatever experiment you were working on."

"I can agree to that," Wade assured his mom. "And, Shego, when I get the side door repaired you'll get a key."

---

"Shego, our moms called. They want to know when the baptism will be. Your Mom promises to have your whole family down for it… Well, she's not sure about your grandma."

"What baptism? I'm Jewish, remember?"

"I'm not, remember?"

"You really think it means anything to put a little bit of water on their heads and shout Hallelujah?"

"You don't think it means anything?"

"No."

"Then what's your objection? If it's meaningless it isn't going to affect them?"

Shego opened her mouth to say Kim was twisting her words, then saw Kim grinning at her. "You're good."

"Thanks. I'm living with a woman who plans to be a lawyer. I think she's going to make a damn fine one."

"I'm sure she appreciates your confidence in her. But I happen to know she isn't happy about the idea of baptizing her daughters."

"I think she has to accept the fact she's outvoted. And if she thinks baptism doesn't matter, she should keep a low profile instead of raising a stink."

---

"Rabbi, I need to talk with you about our daughters."

"What is the problem?"

"Well, according to Halakah the children of a Jewish mother are Jewish, right?"

"Right. Nu?"

"What's nu?"

"Nothing much, what's nu with you? … I'm sorry Sharon. Nu is a Jewish word with no exact equivalent in English. In that sentence 'well?' or 'so what's your point?' might be a good paraphrase. You know mothers transmit Jewish identity -- so why are you asking?"

"So, my daughters with Kim--"

"Sharon. I know you're Kim's partner. But she's the mother, the girls will have her identity."

"Let me tell you a story…"

At the end of the story the rabbi apologized for not having an answer to Shego's question. "The sages of the Talmud never discussed this problem. I'll check out the modern responsa and get back with you.  
"But I do have one thing for you to remember. You were baptized as a child, correct?"

"Yes, in the Catholic Church. Confirmed in the Episcopal church."

"And look how well you turned out." Shego realized the rabbi wasn't being facetious; she didn't know Shego's past and was reminding her that the choices we make for ourselves are ultimately more important than those which are made for us.

"Thank you, Ruth. Oh, one quick question, what it the Hebrew word for mom?"

"It's eemah, why?"

"Well, as the girls get older if we both go by Mommy it might be a little confusing for us to tell which Mom a girl is trying to call."

After Shego left Rabbi Horowitz put in a call to Beth Zion. "Avram? This is Ruth. I've got a question that is going to cross your eyes." She retold the story, leaving out the names, but Rabbi Katz guessed who she was talking about.

"This is about Kim and that Shego woman?"

"Shego? Her name is Sharon. Anyway, over here we try to encourage a broad understanding of Jewish identity. I know there is a lot of debate going on in other movements because of all that's happening with infertility treatments. Is there a Conservative responsa on this yet?"

"Not a final call. The preliminary debate talked about genetic mothers -- which would be really complicated in this case if the story is true, the birth or gestational mother, and the social mother -- who raises the child, and is complicated again in this one. The preliminary responsa was that birth mother determines the child's identity. But I don't think the debate is over."

"Okay, that wasn't the answer I wanted, but I'll pass it on and give you the credit for being the source. Oh, can you call the men in black for me and see if they have an answer?"

"I'd rather not, it is too much of an ego trip for them if a rabbi from another movement asks for their opinion."

"Well they won't even talk to me because I'm a woman. Tell them you don't care squat for their opinion, but the Reconstructionist rabbi wanted to know -- that ought to be seven kinds of ego trip for them."

"I'll make the call for you, Ruth, but remember; if you make the definition of Jew too broad it becomes meaningless."

"I appreciate the call, but remember this, Avram, if you make the definition of Jew too narrow there won't be anybody left."

---

Shego and Kim had very different perspectives on the redhead's efforts to get back in shape after the babies. Kim felt like things were moving very slowly and despaired of ever being back to where she had been. Shego felt Kim was making amazing progress and would fully recover her fighting skills by the end of the summer.

---

Shego sorted through the mail on the table in the entryway. She found a letter for her with the return address for the Federation of Jewish Child Survivors of the Holocaust  when she got home from Elizabethan Drama. She had to read it three times before she believed it, then let out a screech of joy. "KIM! BONNIE! RON! MONIQUE! WHO IS HOME?"

"Quiet, girl, you're going to wake the babies," Monique scolded her from the top of the stairs.

Shego bounded up the steps three at a time, grabbed Monique and gave her a kiss. "I've got a great uncle I never knew I had!"

"What's that," Ron asked as he emerged from the nursery. Apparently they had been watching Kasy and Sheki sleep - which was always more fascinating than anything you could find on cable television.

Shego gave Ron an enthusiastic hug and kiss also. "My grandma has an older brother. He was just a few years old when her parents sent him away before the war started. He never even knew he had a sister. He's still alive! He lives in Toronto."

Bonnie came out to see what the noise was all about, Shego spared her the kiss but grabbed her for an impromptu fox trot -- that ended with them both falling on the floor laughing.

---

Shego didn't know how to call first, Grandma Gill or the home of the granduncle she had never met. She attempted the number for the uncle and found herself talking to his daughter -- no, her own first cousin once removed -- who initially could not believe the story she was told. Grandma Gill also took some convincing, Shego worried she might die of excitement when her grandmother finally believed the story.

"You'll come with me to meet him and your cousins, won't you?"

"Of course I will, grandma. Let me see what I can do about airline tickets."

Shego regretted her promise as soon as she hung up. "I'm in trouble," she told Kim, who had been in the room as she made the calls.

"Why?"

"I'm not sure if I'm allowed into Canada. I think when they let me go it was with the understanding I wouldn't be back."

"Let me see if I can call in a favor," Kim assured her.

Kim finally had to contact Wade for the phone number of Canada's secret service. Why did a secret service need an unlisted number? And the first call did not go well. "No, I don't know his real name, but he called himself Joe when he was working as a janitor in Middleton… No, it's in the United States … No, I didn't have a last name for him, and I'm not even sure if Joe was his real name. … Is there anyone there who could look through the files and find his name for me?"

Kim gave up. "Try again," Shego said. "This time ask for Thomas J. MacKenzie."

Kim hit redial. "Hello, I'd like to speak with Thomas MacKenzie. … Yes, I'll hold while you transfer me. … Hello, my name is Kim Possible and I'd-- ... Joe? I'm so glad I was able to find you." She glanced over at Shego, how had she known that?

"I can't promise anything," Joe told Shego over the phone. "But it sounds like you have a legitimate reason for visiting Canada. This isn't some sort of stunt for yourself is it?"

"Hey, I plan to keep a low profile. The American network called PBS and the group Survivor's of the Shoah are both interesting in taping this. But I'm going to try and stay off camera at all times. There's a rumor I might have some enemies --"

"Funny how those rumors get started."

"Hilarious. Anyway, I wouldn't want anyone being able to target my family."

"I'll recommend you be allowed in for twenty-four hours and have someone watch you while you're here. Will that be enough?"

"I'd like forty-eight hours, if possible. These are relatives I've never met. Hey, any chance I can have you assigned to watch me?"

"I'll see what I can do."

---

Shego seemed unusually quiet when she got back from Canada. She and Kim went out onto the porch after supper and sat on the new swing.

"Bonnie really bought this for the house?"

"Or for herself, yeah. She used some of the money she got from Jack Hench. She would like to sit out her with someone special and watch fireflies and snog."

"Where did you learn snog?"

"The Harry Potter books, have you read them?"

"Did she put it up by herself?"

"No, Ron helped her. What's going on with you? You were so happy when you went off to Canada I was expecting gymnastics when you came home. You seem awfully quiet. Was anything wrong?"

Shego stared off across the lawn for a few minutes before answering. "I think everything was fine. It was just weird. I heard my grandmother speak Hungarian to someone. I mean, I've heard her use a few words when we'd ask her to say something -- but I've never heard her talk to someone who understood. I don't think she had used it in fifty years. I don't think he had either. Here were these two old people, never met in their lives, and they're talking to each other in a language neither one of them remembers. But they're brother and sister… It got me thinking about my great-grandparents. What it must it have been like for them -- sending a little boy away in hopes he would survive the war. Giving their newborn daughter away so her identity could be hidden. Dying for the sin of being Jewish… He had a picture of his parents. Grandma Gill couldn't even remember them, it was the first time she'd ever seen the face of her mother and father… "

Shego started crying, and Kim pulled her close, letting her weep on her shoulder. "Damn it, I'm happy! Why am I crying like this?"

Kim soothed her, "There are happy tears too. And sometimes we can be happy and sad at the same time…"

---

Kim tried to sound comfortable as she talked with Will. It didn't appear that Will and Monique were talking with each other yet, but at least she had them both at the same dinner table and hopefully they'd be sitting together like they always did for poker night. "We've really missed you. Shego does so well that she's getting an oversized ego."

"That's not true," Shego interrupted. "It's just a realistic assessment of how good I am."

"Hot stuff, coming through," Ron called as he brought the salmon filets and a platter of asparagus to the table. He returned to the table with a casserole dish filled with scalloped potatoes. "These are right out of the oven and too hot to pass. Give me your plates and I'll serve you."

The fish and vegetables went around the table as Ron served potatoes. "The potatoes taste a little different tonight," Bonnie commented.

"Well, I ran out of milk so I used a couple of those little bottles of formula Kim has mixed up in the fridge."

Bonnie looked a little green. Her fears were confirmed by Kim, "Oh, God. Those aren't bottles of formula -- they're breast milk."

Bonnie put a hand over her mouth, and ran for the bathroom. Ron lay the spoon down in the potatoes -- no one would be asking for more. Will lowered his fork and pushed his plate away. Monique pushed hers away also. "Can I take you out for dinner?" he asked. "We need to talk."

Everyone looked over at Shego, who had continued eating. "What's wrong?" she demanded. "It's kosher or you couldn't feed it to babies."

---

With the departure of Will and Monique there seemed little point in trying to play poker. Bonnie started on homework and Shego went upstairs to play with the babies. Ron helped Kim clean up in the kitchen -- 'Hey, I do the cooking, someone else does the cleaning' was his motto. The two moved out to the front porch, sat on the love seat and looked at the few stars that could be seen over the night sky of Middleton.

"Ron, what do you want to do with life? Global Justice is asking if you are ever going to take one of the internships they offer."

"I don't know Kim. I'm not sure world saving is what I want to do. The whole hero bit is your thing. I'm your friend, so I went along with you to watch your back. But that doesn't mean I want it as my life's work. Besides, you have Shego to watch your back now."

"Well, given the fact that Shego has no interest in working for Global Justice, and Dr. Director says Shego will never be hired by Global Justice I could still use someone to watch my back. Or are you going to be in Japan again this summer?"

"Doesn't look like I'm going to Japan."

"You want to talk about that?"

"Not really… I mean, I do want to talk about it, but not really with you. I want to know what's happening. I got a letter from Yori… A letter! Not even a phone call! And she said I wouldn't be able to come to the Yamanouchi school this summer. She didn't tell me why. It's driving me crazy. I've only had a couple letters since then. They don't say anything! I'm wondering if I should just try and go over and find her."

"I can't tell you what you should do. But if you don't go to Japan, Global Justice would love to have you… I'd love to have you. We always had fun."

"Sure did."

"Now, looking ahead to the future. I'm going with a program in law enforcement that Global Justice likes. Have you declared a major yet?"

"Oh, man, you're just as bad as my advisor."

"I hate to sound like Bonnie, but it's time."

"Hey, you only need a major if you plan to graduate."

"You're going to drop out?"

"Who said anything about dropping out? I like college. I pick my classes so I can sleep late in the morning. They're lots of pretty girls to look at. Mom and dad are paying for my tuition and are happy as long as I bring back decent grades. I've got them trained to not have high expectations for my report cards. The way I see it, I can stretch four years of college out into six or seven if I play my cards right. Once you get a degree they expect you to work."

"You are so the sloth."

"And proud of it. Is saving the world really what you want to do with your life? It's dangerous out there, Kim; you know that. One day you're battling a crazy maniac bent on world conquest and the next you're sleeping with her and carrying her babies."

"It's what I want to do now. Maybe I'm like Shego. I'll want to raise hell for a few years and then I'll want to settle down to peace and quiet. "

"Oh yeah, living with her is a sure ticket to domestic tranquility."

"Better than a girl friend on the other side of the world. And at least I'm raising hell on the right side of the law." She threw her arms around Ron and gave him a hug, "I'm sorry you don't know what's going on with Yori. I really love you and the way you've been here for me. If I can help you in any way, just ask. I hope you can be as happy as Shego and I are."

Shego let the two embrace before she cleared her throat, "My fiancé, her best friend, and my Adirondack chair. Do you want to drink one of my beers, Stoppable, and make my humiliation complete?" Ron started to get up, but Shego just laughed. "You can keep the loveseat. I'm not jealous," and she sat on the floor and leaned back against Kim's legs.

"How long were you listening?"

"I think Ron was saying something about six or seven years in school when I came out. You thinking about grad school, Stoppable?"

The three sat out on the porch, talking quietly. _ "A perfect spring night, the babies asleep, leaning back against Kim as she strokes my hair… Life doesn't get any better than this,"_ Shego told herself.

---

"Shego, it will be your choice whether you want to go with us or not for the baptism. The roof won't fall in if you go into a church today. All of my family is going to be there. My Nana is up from Florida. Even Matt and Ilene flew down this morning with the rest of your family. They would like you to be there. But you can stay here and eat bagels with Ron and read the New York Times if you want and then join us for lunch."

"You say you'll walk up front with the girls -- would you expect me to carry one?"

"No, my mom will go up with me. Dr. Delahooke will baptize them and a couple other babies. It's really pretty simple."

The Possible and O'Ceallaigh families, along with Bonnie and Monique filled two long pews at the church. Kim and her mom took the girls down to the front of the sanctuary at the point where the bulletin read, "Service of Baptism."

Shego grinned cheerfully at Kim during the ceremony. _"Kim has no reason to complain, I'm here, aren't I?"_

Kim glared at Shego. _"How could she dress in mourning for a baptism?"_

---

Bonnie got permission from the other residents of Possible Manor to hold the cast party for the final production of the school year there. Kim and Shego took the twins and spent the night with the Drs. Possible. James got in fewer games of bridge than he had planned, but managed to spend quality time playing with his grandkids.

Bonnie was not quite the center of attention at the party; the house managed that. But as the resident of the house, who invited the rest of the Theater Department for the party, Bonnie was the human center of attention -- which even made up for the fact the female lead in the play had gone to a senior. Monique and Ron had generously offered to help, but spent most of their time in the kitchen.

"I don't think we're that stuck on ourselves when the Business Department has a party."

"Maybe not, but I'll bet you don't have as many good looking people in your department. I figure you have to be pretty full of yourself to go into theater."

"Don't sell us short in business. We've got plenty of people stuck on themselves in my department too. When are you going to declare a major, Ron? It's about time."

"I'm going to go with culinary arts."

"Is that out of conviction or are you still looking for the easiest path for yourself?"

"You and Kim sound a lot alike when you grill me. Oh, hey, I'm thinking of a double major with business. That ought to let Mom and Dad keep me in school for a couple extra years."

When the last of the set designers and lighting crew left the three did a fast pick up and Monique headed for bed. Bonnie had seemed oddly quiet given the extent of her triumph and went out to sit on the porch swing after they finished. After depositing the last bag of trash by the back door in the kitchen Ron joined her. She leaned over and gave him a fast peck on the cheek, "Thanks for putting up the swing and helping with the party."

"Does Monique get one too?"

"I'll give you another one, you can pass it on for me."

"You're still a 'phob, you know that?"

"I'm getting better. I think Kim and Shego tease me on purpose."

"Only 'cause you're so easy."

"I'M NOT!"

"Whoa, sorry girl."

"No, I'm sorry. Flashback to spring break. I saw Brick. He thinks because we had sex in high school he's entitled…"

"I really am sorry. I just meant they think it's fun to tease you."

"I know. Ron, you don't think they really play strip cribbage, do you?"

"They told you that?"

"Yes."

"Now there's an image that's going to stick in my brain… You seem a little down tonight. Sad that Ed didn't stay? Post Party-um depression?"

"No, Ed just came down to see the play one night because I was in it."

"That was nice, you weren't even the main character."

"Ed is a nice guy. I know a couple nice guys. I wish one of them would really ask me out."

"He's out there somewhere for you, Bonnie. Is that why you're down?"

She smiled. "No. I'm just not sure what is going to happen to me next year."

"What do you mean?"

"You know the Possibles are paying me to help Kim as sort of a, quote nanny, unquote. They asked me when Shego was in prison in Canada. With Shego out of jail they've got to know I'm not really doing much around here. Kim and Shego can get a regular babysitter when they need one for less than I'm getting paid. And I'm not going to get a housing stipend back next year either. I'm worried I might have to move back home. I know I'm not the most popular person in this house. Maybe if I have another good summer working at Club Banana I can save enough to pay for the dorm. I'll probably have to move home for the summer, I can't stay here if I'm not working for the Possibles."

"You should consider trying to renegotiate before you give up."

"Renegotiate?"

"Yeah. Kim and Shego could really use a lot of help this summer. Kim and I will be working for Global Justice -- and sometimes we might be gone for days at a time. Shego hopes to get over to Europe and take care of some of her legal problems there. You might make more if you worked at Club Banana over the summer -- but tell Kim and Shego you want to stay on next school year -- you'll keep your same salary for the summer, then stay on in the fall for room and board. If they agree you have almost no living expenses and another year at Possible Manor."

"Do you want me here, Ron?"

"Yeah, under the rough edges you're really kind of sweet."

She patted his hand, then left her hand on top of his, "Thanks. I think you're sweet too." They sat on the porch swing, talking about the coming school year, until early in the morning. Bonnie wanted a goodnight kiss before going back to her room, but wouldn't make the move herself, Ron feared she might -- and didn't know how he would have responded. It was sometimes hard to stay madly in love with a girl on the other side of the world, especially on a warm spring night while rocking on a porch swing.

---

**Translation:** Cogito ergo doleo - I think, therefore I am depressed


	11. Chapter 11 Vincere est totum

Boilerplate Disclaimer: The various characters from the Kim Possible series are all owned by Disney. Any and all registered trade names property of their respective owners. Cheap shots at celebrities constitute fair usage.

Kasy Ann and Sheki Go Possible were created by NoDrogs in the story A Small Possibility.

**Chapter 11 - Vincere est totum**

"You're ready, Kim."

"No, I'm not. And you know it. If we were fighting for real you'd leave me in pieces."

"I didn't say you were back where you were a year ago. And I'm not suggesting you fight me. I think you're ready."

"And I think this whole thing sounds ridiculous."

"Come on, Kim. You're the one being ridiculous. You agree we sponge too much off your parents, but when I try and pay for things you object to where I earned my money."

"Earned?"

"It's almost entirely paychecks."

Kim rolled her eyes. "And how did you earn those checks? And then I found you were buying our own stuff on eBay to put money in the furniture fund -- then throwing the junk out."

"Exactly, Kim. It's a pain in the butt to try and do something nice for you. You just end up criticizing me. I want that big Jacuzzi in our bathroom. You won't let your dad pay for it, you won't let me pay for it, and now you won't even take money from the furniture fund. Our bathroom is the last one left to fix, and I'm getting damned tired of looking at it the way it is. We're going to earn that money honestly so you can't whine and I can relax in style."

"And you relaxing in style is doing something for me?"

"Didn't you read the description? It was designed for two."

"Okay, Shego, explain it to me one more time."

"Pretty simple really. You remember when we ended up in the wrestling ring when we were stuck in the Pandimensional Vortex Inducer, right?"

"I sure do, we had fun."

"Exactly! Well, Ron was telling me how you and he have connections with the GWA, and they're in town in a couple weeks for Mayhem in Middleton Four. Use your connections; we go into the ring as a tag team. You are ready."

"The GWA doesn't have women wrestlers."

"Kim, you are ready to take on the best they have -- it doesn't matter. They can't beat us."

"Shego, there is no way in the world I would do that. I'd be too embarrassed to ever show my face in class or the mall."

"Well, less time in the mall would save us money," Shego muttered.

"What was that, dear?"

"I said I think we can go in masked. Call the GWA, at least we can talk with them."

---

"Whaddaya want?" Jackie Oakes growled, annoyed that Kim and the other woman had been allowed in to see him.

"You're out of prison?" Kim asked, rather surprised to see him.

"Yeah, the judge bought my line dat the talisman was makin' me steal stuff. So I didn't get much of a sentence. An the GWA needs my promotional skills to survive, so of course I'm back."

"We had an idea that might be suitable for inclusion in Middleton Mayhem Four."

"Mizz Possible, if I may call you dat. Let me put it to you succinctly -- drop dead."

"Kim, would you please step out into the hall for a minute. I want to convince Mr. Oakes that he should not overlook a great business opportunity."

Kim left the room, and stood in front of the door in case anyone asked questions about the noises coming from inside. "He's auditioning a new act," she informed the curious.

"Okay, you can roll me," he said after Kim came back into the room. "But I'm not exactly in top form. I gotta know you can last wit a real wrassler. I gotta duty to the fans ya know. Let's go down to the gym and see if you can handle a real fight."

Down in the gym Jackie gestured to a couple of the lesser names on the scorecard, "Hey, Chuck, Bruce, come over here and lean on these two dames, willya?"

"Only two of them?" Shego asked. "We don't even need Kim in the ring for that -- I'll take them both."

Shego climbed into the practice ring and Jackie gave last minute instructions to the two fighters. "There's an extra C-note apiece for you in dis if you show me some serious hurt."

Kim smiled as she watched. Shego was clearly taking her time, wanting to give a good show. The two wrestlers and Jackie didn't realize that the pale woman was simply toying with her opponents, but it was frustrating for them that neither of the two could get a hand on her. "Finish it!" Jackie yelled at them.

"Should I finish it now, Kim?"

"Yes, you can finish them now." It ended soon after Kim finished the sentence.

Jackie stared at the two canvasbacks. He had a bad feeling they would want those C-notes -- they had certainly showed him some serious hurt. "Come into my office ladies, let's talk contract." He wasn't sure which of the two he hated more, Kim for stopping his plans for power or the pale woman for throwing him around his own office. But Jackie Oakes was first of all a businessman, and these two were money. He hoped there was time to change publicity before the show -- these two deserved serious billing.

---

A large plasma television had been added to the living room, before Kim discovered that Shego was laundering money through the eBay account. Ron had refused to let it be taken back, threatening to withhold cooking, and so it remained. Bonnie had the twins in a playpen by one end of the couch, while Monique and Ron had the middle and other end of the couch.

"Any idea why Kim told us to watch the GWA tonight?"

"Sorry, 'nique, they don't confide in me. But I figure that's kind of like asking me to breathe or sleep."

Bonnie just stared at the two in disgust. "This is all like, totally fake, you know that, don't you?"

"Don't go calling Steel Toe a fake, he's the man!"

"Two words, Ron," Monique said, "Pain King."

"My man is so going to crush him."

"No way!"

They fell silent as the title flashed on the screen 'Middleton Mayhem IV!"

The opening acts were lesser fighters, who usually put on good shows in hopes of being noticed and promoted to a higher paying role in the program. Bonnie found herself enjoying it as a form of theater, but didn't dare say anything to Ron and Monique after making fun of them earlier.

"Ohmygawd! Did you see that ad they just ran for the feature fight?"

"I was looking at the twins. What was it?"

"They were wearing masks, but I swear it was Kim and Shego."

"You're kidding, right?"

"Would I kid about a thing like that?"

"Yes, Ron, you would. Or you could be mistaken -- you said they were wearing masks."

"Yeah, like the comic book characters Batgirl and Catwoman."

"Don't be ridiculous, Ron," Bonnie interrupted. "There's no way Kim would do something like that."

"Not unless they let her wear a mask."

"Uh, a couple days ago I noticed they changed the advertising spots on the radio," Monique said. "They claimed the feature fight would be an Intergender Tag Team Match. Batgirl and Catwoman vs. Pain King and Steel Toe."

"No way they can have Pain King and Steel Toe together! Those two hate each other."

"Way, Ron, I'm just telling you what the ad said on the radio."

"Was it really Kim and Shego?" Bonnie demanded.

"I'm just telling you what I saw. It explains why they told us to watch. Ouch, that is so kayfabe."

"Kayfabe?"

"Just accept it and don't think about it too much," Monique explained. "Shego would say suspension of disbelief or some literary term. But how can they do a match like that? I mean, Steel Toe and Batwoman would both be faces, and Pain King and Catwoman would be heels, right?"

"Faces and heels?"

Ron handled that one for Bonnie, "Good guys and bad guys. Oh, yeah, Monique likes the bad boys."

"He's got a bionic eye, Ron, that is so much cooler than a steel foot!"

"Why don't you just say good guys and bad guys?" Bonnie complained.

"'Cause then people wouldn't know that we know what we're talking about. Oh, I think I remember the name for what they are doing -- it's a Parejas Incredibles Match. They have them in Mexico, I've seen it on ESPN Two. But I've never seen one that was intergender. Jackie is a genius, he's got something brand new!"

Bonnie refrained from pointing out that sticking two old ideas together didn't exactly count as something new. "It's going to be fun seeing Kim and Shego beat two guys," she observed.

"No way, Bon. Steel Toe is what this is all about. It's got to be the guys who win. They wouldn't let two new people defeat the biggest draws in the GWA."

Suddenly the lesser contests became meaningless. The trio waited impatiently for the climactic battle on the evening's program. The twins were fed and changed without ever leaving the living room. All three saw the next video clip, and it confirmed Ron's opinion that Kim and Shego would be in the match.

Finally, the arena went dark and spotlights followed Steel Toe and Pain King, walking in together, waving at their fans. And since everyone there stood firmly in one camp or the other the applause was thunderous. They reached the center of the arena and spotlights picked up two slim figures moving towards the center from the other side. 'Catwoman' appeared unwilling to participate, but the handcuff kept her linked to 'Batgirl.' Some hardcore GWA fans booed the women willing to challenge the two biggest names on the bill -- while other fans seemed to appreciate the tight outfits on the two women.

'Catwoman' and Pain King began the match. The referee was constantly warning the two of fouls and the audience hissed as the two gave a demonstration on every dirty trick in the book.

Pain King appeared to be in no serious trouble when he tagged Steel Toe and sent the GWA hero in to face the Hellcat. 'Catwoman' appeared to have gotten tired while battling Pain King. After a few minutes Steel Toe was able to throw her. She bounced off the cables, then flipped gracefully over and tagged 'Batgirl.'

Even Bonnie joined Monique and Ron bouncing on the couch as they cheered wildly for Kim. "Get him girl," Monique shouted. "Flatten him!" The crowd in the arena cheered wildly as the two heroes gave them a long show of clean fighting, filled with throws and rolls.

After a long time battling against Steel Toe 'Batgirl' tagged 'Catwoman' and the lithe felon slipped between the ropes into the ring. Steel Toe remained in the ring, determined to bring the fight to an end. 'Catwoman' was really fighting dirty now, and a clawed hand slashed at Steel Toe's pects, leaving four red slashes across his chest.

"Did you see that?" Bonnie asked, aghast at the red dripping down Steel Toes' chest. "What is the referee going to do?"

Apparently the referee had missed it completely. He appeared to be conferring with a ringside official and missed the brutal foul. Reeling with pain Steel Toe tagged Pain King, who slipped between the ropes -- and joined 'Catwoman' in her assault on Steel Toe.

'Batgirl' was screaming at the referee to notice what was happening in the ring.

"Oh, Steel Toe is playing Ricky Morton," Ron explained to Bonnie.

"What?"

"It means he's getting beat up. But it also means they wrote a new script. Bet I know where it's going."

"You'd have to have cheese for brains not to know where this one is going," Monique insisted.

Bonnie kept silent, afraid of being accused of having cheese for brains.

The referee was over talking with 'Batgirl' now as she gestured wildly at the mayhem going on in the ring. Finally she couldn't take it any longer and vaulted the ropes and went into action.

'Batgirl' engaged Pain King, giving the 'injured' Steel Toe the chance to defend himself against 'Catwoman." After several minutes of complete mayhem, which the referee seemed totally unable to bring under control, 'Batgirl' caught up Pain King and gave him an airplane spin, flinging him against 'Catwoman.' The heels went crashing into the ropes then collapsed motionless in the ring.

'Batgirl' and the 'injured' Steel Toe joined hands, and the referee raised their linked hands in victory as the crowd went wild.

---

"You didn't need to pick him like that," Shego scolded Kim.

"You don't need to tell me. My abs are going to be reminding me for the next three days."

"What in the hell made you think you were ready for a move like that?"

"Gee, I don't know. Maybe it was my lover saying, 'Kim, you're ready for it.'"

"I said you weren't back to where you were. If you'd stuck with the script you wouldn't be hurting so bad."

There was a loud knocking on the door.

"Who is it?" Kim called.

"Andrew and Bill, are you two decent?"

"Come on in."

In their 'civilian' clothes Steel Toe and Pain King bore some resemblance to the movie stereotype of Mafia muscle. "We wanted to make sure Jackie paid you all he promised. He's been known to pull a fast one on temps. You two were great tonight."

Shego laughed, "Jackie must have agreed with you. He actually gave us a bonus and would like us to get back in the ring sometime. Maybe against each other."

"Jackie paying a bonus to temps? That's got to be a first. Can we take the two of you out to dinner?"

"We've got to get back to the babies. Kim became a mother about three and a half months ago."

"You're kidding," Andrew exclaimed. "No way you can be back in shape that fast."

"No way that I am," Kim agreed. "I'm going to be in real pain tomorrow."

"I'm sorry about that," Bill apologized.

"It's her own fault for ad libbing," Shego reminded him. "Hey, want to come back to our place? We have two of your biggest fans watching the girls. One of them is a hell of a cook. I can give them a call and he can start something. We'll stop at the store and pick up a couple steaks to grill for you on the way back."

---

Back at Possible Manor an argument broke out between Shego, who insisted that the fights resonated with the fans because of atavistic archetypal conflict, and Bill, who insisted they provided catharsis for an audience frustrated with the complexities of modern society.

"You people have brains, too?" Bonnie asked.

"Oh, yeah. Bill took some graduate courses in psychology while he was wrestling for U of I."

"Is your chest going to be okay?"

"My chest? … Oh, that red dye Sharon had hidden in her glove? Pain King is going to beat me next time we fight and I'm going to claim I hadn't fully recovered from this match.

---

"I don't think I can get out of bed," Kim groaned. "I think I'll break in two if I try and move."

"I told you that you overdid yesterday."

"I never doubted you. Can you bring me breakfast in bed?"

"Okay, and then a nice warm bath will help those muscles feel better."

After breakfast Shego filled the tub in Bonnie and Monique's bathroom with warm water and bubble bath, then carried Kim in and slid her gently into the water. "Scoot forward," she told the redhead as she got out of her bathrobe and pajamas.

"See this is why we need the Jacuzzi," Shego complained as Kim leaned back against her. "This tub is just too narrow for comfort."

"Ummmm, I feel fine," Kim purred.

"Well my legs are cramped."

"Oh, too bad. You shouldn't complain. We can't be in here very long before the water gets cold and we have to get out."

"Hey, you're soaking with a woman who carries her own heat source, remember?"

"You can heat water too? I knew there was a reason I loved you."

"I thought it was for my sparkling personality."

---

"We can get out now," Kim told Shego. "We've been steeping so long I feel Korean."

"Korean?"

"Kim-tea"

The pale woman groaned, "Or maybe Shego soup."

---

**Translation Note**: Vincere est totum - Winning is everything


	12. Chapter 12 Aut viam inveniam aut faciam

Boilerplate Disclaimer: The various characters from the Kim Possible series are all owned by Disney. Any and all registered trade names property of their respective owners. Cheap shots at celebrities constitute fair usage.

In the original plan, when there would be a three story arc, the conclusion looked a little like the end of the previous chapter. Unfortunately another character managed to hijack the ending, and this became the result. Pretend that was the last chapter if you don't care for this ending.

Kasy Ann and Sheki Go Possible were created by NoDrogs in the story A Small Possibility.

**Chapter 12 - Aut viam inveniam aut faciam**

Finals had ended for Kim's sophomore year at Middleton U. Considering that half of February had been spent in total exhaustion she had done remarkably well. In a week she would be back with Global Justice and was excited at the prospect -- especially since she would be working with Ron again.

Shego had received a tentative letter of acceptance from the Law School, contingent upon her graduation in December. The requirement of a December graduation was spelled out in the acceptance letter. While the letter did not say it, she knew that the state trial coming up that fall could raise a serious problem for her. She planned to spend the summer dealing with the smaller charges against her in various countries to try and impress the court with her new life style. When the two sat on the porch swing, playing with the babies and talking about the future, neither would speak of the upcoming trial to the other.

The twins proved a demanding audience when Shego brought out her flute, and required that every concert end with a performance of 'Pop Goes the Weasel' if she wanted to obtain their smiles and laughter. Kasy and Sheki were starting to roll, and their mothers warned Kim and Shego that they would miss the doorstop phase once it was over -- it would be the only time they could be certain where the twins would be.

In a couple weeks Justine would take up residence in Possible Manor. Kim had relented slightly and was letting money from the 'tainted' furniture fund be used to install a prototype of Wade's new home elevator.

Monique and Will were seeing each other regularly again, but some tensions remained. Shego recommended they visit a counselor before becoming engaged instead of waiting until the conversation turned to talk of divorce after a marriage.

Some psychiatrists spoke of releasing Drakken from the Innsmouth Institute, but other therapists insisted that would only be allowed with some sort of supervision to insure he didn't stop taking his medication. Kim wasn't sure what she felt out the possibility of Drakken moving to the Middleton area, but it would provide her with the opportunity to crush him at Texas Hold'em.

Wade had recovered nicely from his 'accident,' and Shego now had free run of the Lair. One of the points on which both Kim and Shego could absolutely agree was that the young man needed a girl friend.

---

Monique and Will were out for a dinner and dancing, and Kim, Shego and the twins were spending the night at the Drs. Possible. Kim suspected the bridge game was simply an excuse for her parents to see the grandchildren. Ron was down watching television as Bonnie put her desperate plan into effect.

"Ron, come upstairs."

"Where are you?" he called as he climbed to the second floor.

"Come into the master bathroom."

"What's up, Bonnie?"

"Just come in here, will you?"

"Okay, I'm here. What's so special?"

"Have you seen the new Jacuzzi Shego had installed?"

"Yeah, I was here when they brought it in, remember?"

"No, I mean have you really seen it? Have you been in it?"

"No, this is their bathroom."

"Come on, Ron. I have it all filled and ready. Why don't we give it a try right now?"

"Uh, Bonnie, I'm not dressed for--"

"Oh, hush. It's not a matter of dressed. It's a matter of being undressed for it."

Ron should have run screaming from the room right then. But it is almost impossible for the average man to run from a pretty woman who is unbuttoning her blouse -- and even more difficult for him to run when she starts taking off his shirt.

"Bonnie, this really isn't a good idea."

"Come on Ron, you're a gentleman. We've been living under the same roof for months now. I trust you not to take advantage of me. We're just two friends sitting in the Jacuzzi together."

"Oh, yeah. Just two friends." Ron closed his eyes and tried to find any non-erotic image to replace the sight of Bonnie's breasts after she unhooked her bra. The fact her fingers were slowly slipping down his chest didn't help.

And it is impossible to run with your pants down around your knees. And no matter how many times it had happened to him in the past this was definitely different.

"Oh, my," Bonnie giggled. "Someone is happy to see me. I'll let you keep your boxers on if you want. Just get in the Jacuzzi now."

Ron scrambled into the tub, hoping the water would help hide his arousal.

"Please, Bonnie, leave your panties on."

"Don't be silly. I don't want them to get wet. Now I'll just get in the tub with you and we'll talk about whatever comes up. Oh, have I ever thanked you for the two times you saved me from Gill?"

"No thanks necessary," Ron croaked.

"Oh, don't be modest. I really need to thank you properly…"

---

Ron lay on the futon in his dark room and stared up at the blackness of the ceiling. He pressed his cell phone to his ear and listened to what seemed an eternity of clicks as connections were made halfway around the world. Finally another phone began to ring in Japan.

_"Oh, God, please pick it up, Yori. Please, pick it up, Yori. I really need to talk with you. Please God, let her pick it up…" _

---

**Translation:** Aut viam inveniam aut faciam - I will either find a way or make one

----- The End -----

Postscript

Thus endeth my original story arc -- well, except it had originally been Kim and Shego in the Jacuzzi -- just after it was installed. They were sharing a bottle of Asti, which was sweet enough Kim didn't object. I still don't know what happens with Bonnie and Ron and Yori. But Kim and Shego are where I want them for now: Happy with each other and in an ideal situation if I want to set more stories in this universe. Other stories may appear within this series, no necessarily in order.

**Kim** will go to work for Global Justice after she leaves college in two years, which allows for further stories.

**Shego** will need a few trips to clear up legal problems in various countries around the world, sometimes with Kim's help. She holds at least one interesting job while in law school and has the potential for being blackmailed into government jobs as necessary. Without Betty Director's knowledge she also backs up Will Du on a mission that goes well enough the two might work together again.

Kim and Shego have a Jewish wedding in their future.

**Wade** increases Shego's retainer in return for her agreeing to do maintenance on the hovercraft. Lipsky and Load writes off a nice set of tools as a business expense and there is usually a hovercraft parked in the garage at Possible Manor for routine work. In the fall of his junior year Ron will haul his grandfather's 1947 Indian to the shop and Shego will help him rebuild it.

**Ron** remains impossible for me to pin down, as do Shego's brothers.

I don't have a sense of **Bonnie** other than some success after college on a Soap as a bad girl. I can't tell if she is deeply interested in Ron or simply finds him a nice guy and conveniently close. I'd like her to end up with Ed, but am afraid she is more likely to fall for Will. I would not put any money on Junior in the Bonnie sweepstakes, but they did have a good time and went clubbing again.

The **White Lady**'s remains will be found during renovation of the basement. She does have a name. The girls like her, but in later years Kim (who can't see her) refuses to consider her as a baby-sitter.

Given **Justine**'s dysfunctional family background **Felix** will need to treat her with a lot of TLC if there is any chance for them. She requires a lot of attention, and his may be divided now that he is back among old friends.

I think things will go better for **Will Du** and **Monique**.

Quite a number of characters might have a role in future stories. And if the final Jack emerges there will be two (hopefully) unexpected faces in Team Possible II -- the others can probably be guessed easily enough.

**Kasy** and **Sheki** could be a lot of fun…  
"And why did you think it was a good idea to teach four-year olds how to pick locks?" Kim asked.  
"You're never too young. Sheki is a natural -- no lock is going to stop her."  
"No lock, as in, the lock on our bedroom door or as in the lock on our toy drawer in the dresser?"  
"Okay, maybe I should have thought that through… How about we stack a couple cinder blocks in front of the door if we want privacy?"

At age five Shego initiates the girls into the order of the pillow ninjas, only to discover that the students can best their teacher.  
Shego loved her daughters, and they adored their Eemah. But sometimes Kim reflected sadly, _"It would be safer for me to just leave a loaded gun lying around the house for them to play with."_

And now, one final thought, Cur etiam hic es - Why are you still here?


End file.
